# For the love of Christ: "Express Lane, 1-16 Items" Means ONE to SIXTEEN ITEMS! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733 "2008-05-09T19:48:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/81 "2008-05-10T20:51:50Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Clearly, you’re too stupid to know what a troll is. [/QUOTE] Oh, ouch. It burns. It stings. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/82 "2008-05-10T21:10:06Z")
Well, howsabout some links to this alleged trolling of mine? ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/83 "2008-05-10T21:12:43Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Well, howsabout some links to this alleged trolling of mine? [/QUOTE] Just personal opinion. Feel free to let it bother you, or not. Up to you. \ ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/84 "2008-05-10T21:16:24Z")
Doesn’t bother me any. On the contrary, it makes the decision to regard your presence on these boards as a waste of electrons all the easier. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/85 "2008-05-10T21:20:26Z")
[QUOTE=jtgain] In this day and time, why does it matter if a check is out of state? There are readers that can verify the funds in a checking account from the MICR numbers on the check. That being said, who still writes checks? Scan your fucking card, put in your PIN and get out of there. Why use paper checks? And these stores need to help out here. If they put up a sign that says “15 items or fewer” then enforce the policy. Don’t let your cashier stand there silenty while some 87 year old douchebag tries to pay for her 414 items at 5:47p.m. on a Friday. If I stop in for a few items, then I want to get out of there in a reasonable time. While 2.5 seems to really be out there, if not a troll, he is right on the understaffing. Don’t have 15 checkout aisles, but only 2 being staffed. I am trying to do business with you. Don’t make me wait 15 minutes while the lone cashier checks out the only two other people in the store. Anecdote: I was checking out at Publix last week and a lady came behind me in the express lane with about 30 items (limit 15). The cashier told her that he would check her out this time, but next time he would refuse her at the express lane. She apologized, saying that the “lines were too long at the other registers” thereby cancelling her apology. The cashier said, “Yes ma’am, lines are shorter in the express lane because people have fewer items. If I allow people to come here with large orders, then the line will be long here as well. I won’t allow it.” I burst out laughing. This guy was his own fucking Roscoe P. Coltrane of his express lane. I shook his hand and told him the world needed more people like him. The lady was embarrassed as hell.. [/QUOTE] They act right up at the Publix, I tell you what. A lady from the customer service desk once spent ten minutes trying to find something for me, and even after I’d given up I found out she’d kept looking until she saw me at the checkout line and apologized for not being able to find it, but told me that they were supposed to have it and if they couldn’t turn it up she’d make sure it was special ordered. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/86 "2008-05-10T21:23:15Z")
here, cashiers re-direct uninvited customers who break the item limits or queue jumpers, so we don’t have this problem. i have seen, however, customers with children in tow who counts their children as licence for them to raise their item limit… what do you guys think? would you dish out the same ire for these people? ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/87 "2008-05-10T21:35:10Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] I would let that person ahead of me… [/QUOTE] What would to do if the express cashier actually did direct you another lane? ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/88 "2008-05-10T21:38:44Z")
I was behind some idiot in the Express Lane who had a $50 grocery store gift card and, unbeknownst to everyone else, she was trying to get the transaction as close to $50 as possible without going over. The cashier rang everything up, but the idiot’s daughter wanted cigarettes, so we all had to wait while they got cigarettes out from the cigarette case. The transaction then came to $54. So, the idiot sat there debating with her daughter about which item would have to go back. She finally picked an item and asked the cashier to delete it from the transaction. The cashier had to summon the manager to enter a authorization code, causing further delay. As they were waiting for the manager, the daughter ran out and grabbed some block of cheese. The manager came over, entered the code, and left, reducing the transaction total to about $48 and change. The daughter presented the cheese to the cahsier, and he rang it up, causing the total to go to something like $51 and change. She asked the cashier to cut the cheese because she had a gift card for only $50. The cashier then called for the manager again, and we waited. Everyone else in line was glaring and visibly pissed off by this point. Finally, the cashier just pulled $2 out of his own wallet, put it in the register, and told the idiot not to worry about it. The idiot thanked him, and she went on her way. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/89 "2008-05-10T21:45:19Z")
[QUOTE=Bearflag70] She asked the cashier to cut the cheese… [/QUOTE] Well, did she oblige? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/90 "2008-05-10T21:46:36Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] If you are A PERSON with more than 16 items, you don’t belong there. She knows that. EVERYONE knows that; she was just being an inconsiderate bitch and trying to get around the rule with a ridiculous technicality. [/QUOTE] You know, **Rickjay** , you should have cut the lady some slack. After all, she has a few more primaries to prepare for, and some superdelegates to court. Plus there’s the whole Florida thing… What? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/91 "2008-05-11T01:50:57Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] Explain how my using the express line affects the length of the express line before I decide to use the express line. [/QUOTE] Did you read and fully comprehend what you responded to? I said that the express lane is empty because of the fullcart jackass who went through it before you. You’re not the only one, you know. This is not a made up scenario, either. This was an actual justification used by a fullcart jackass during the time I worked retail, when I pointed out he was in the express lane. “Well, there’s no one behind me, so I’m fine.” Then I pointed to several people with 2 or 3 items in the next lane, who hadn’t wanted to wait in line behind a full cart in the express lane. ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/92 "2008-05-11T02:20:31Z")
[QUOTE=Manduck] I don’t think they should accept debit cards in the express lane. It always takes 5-10 attempts before the gadget will accept the card, and then the customer will screw up the PIN, etc. It’s the express line, dammit! Cash only!! I’m in a hurry! [/QUOTE] You mean that those VISA check card commercials are lies? :smack: I’ve noticed the trend of most stores to imply that 10 items or less is a suggestion, not a rule. I think that type of change is what led to the downfall of the Romans. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/93 "2008-05-11T03:42:55Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] It is not not wrong because it is not against the law, it is not wrong because the store accepts my business. [/QUOTE] It is rude. You know it is rude, which is why I sincerely doubt you have ever actually done this. If I threw my money at the cashier rather than handing it to him/her, they’d likely stop and pick it up instead of refusing my transaction. Cashiers don’t typically have the power to deny business. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/94 "2008-05-11T04:10:55Z")
[QUOTE=fluiddruid] If I threw my money at the cashier rather than handing it to him/her, they’d likely stop and pick it up instead of refusing my transaction. Cashiers don’t typically have the power to deny business. [/QUOTE] And that’s just one more thing about this whole debate. Don’t prey on the weak when it comes to doing business. You’re right, the cashier does not have the authority to tell you to go screw at most grocery stores, just like the counter person at McDonalds has to stand there and take your shit. Just because they have to doesn’t mean that you should. A lesson I learned a long time ago: Never fuck with the person who accomodates you getting your food. In the long run it’s never a win for you. They’ll get you one day, and most of the time you’ll never know they did. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/95 "2008-05-11T06:13:14Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Doesn’t bother me any. On the contrary, it makes the decision to regard your presence on these boards as a waste of electrons all the easier. [/QUOTE] Wow, you just have friends everywhere, doncha? ---
**Author:** ![Robin\_Goodfellow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Robin\_Goodfellow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robin_Goodfellow)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/96 "2008-05-11T07:50:51Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] I go into whatever line I want unless the store has enough lanes and has all of the lanes open. [/QUOTE] No, you don’t. You have fun posting inflammatory possibilities on a message board, is all. In reality, you are far too cowardly to actually go through with such a callous and obviously immoral act, and you assuage this cowardice by pretending to be unconcerned with the status quo in these venues where no one can physically respond to you. I’m sorry that you lie. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/97 "2008-05-11T11:38:00Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Why the fuck has this fucking troll not been fucking banned yet? [/QUOTE] Better yet, why do people respond to his posts? My theory is someone very close to uncle Cecil is going senile with age, and nobody wants to be responsible for putting him away. ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/98 "2008-05-11T11:41:11Z")
Well, at least the perpetrators are outed sometimes, like [this guy](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/87/87aupdate.phtml), who was exposed on national television, no less! (Actually, I thought this was one of the best jokes in which I’ve seen a politician agree to participate. “Give me a break … I’m running for president … The soup is three for $1. That’s one item.”) ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/99 "2008-05-11T13:11:39Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] Wow, you just have friends everywhere, doncha? [/QUOTE] Sure do, Kettle. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733/100 "2008-05-11T14:52:41Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] I go into whatever line I want unless the store has enough lanes and has all of the lanes open. If the store is not going to have enough lanes open, I should not have to suffer. If I have 4o items and I want to go into the express lane that is between me and the store. I have never been told by a store employee to go to a different line. This completely different than the handicap parking situation. There is no express lane law. It is just a policy the store has and the store is free to disregard it which they always do. I think of it as more of a suggestion. [/QUOTE] This is an official warning for trolling. The body of your work here on the SDMB is that of a troll. If you wish to remain a member, you’ll need to change your style. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-love-of-christ-express-lane-1-16-items-means-one-to-sixteen-items/448733.md?page=6)