# For the sake of girth **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822 "2005-03-03T23:48:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/1 "2005-03-03T23:48:22Z")
I’m going to get a cheese sandwich. Why am I announcing this instead of just doing it? A few reasons: 1. I’ve been here a long time and I’m hungry. I do have some friends here, and they may want to know that, in a little while, I won’t be hungry anymore. This notice is for them. If I didn’t let them know, they may think I’m starving to death. 2. It provides a clean break. In another thread, I read about cheese sandwiches and I got really hungry for one. This will inform all and sundry that I’m hungry. 3. I want to reassure people that, although I am skinny, I do eat. This post will serve as a bookmark for me to remember to eat. Thin skinned? I don’t think so. I think I’ve hung in there with the best of them. And that’s part of the problem, I think. I forgot to get some lunch and I got too hungry. I’ll see some of you in the other forums, especially Café Society. For those who don’t know, I’ll probably grill the sandwhich, and there’s too much treasure in that to ignore my hunger for the sake of posting in the Pit. A mod can lock this now, as far as I’m concerned. Or you can use it to flame me. Whatever. I may not know exactly where the cheese is for me, but I know that it isn’t here. [Cheese Sandwich](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=305153) ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/2 "2005-03-03T23:53:28Z")
Ulltimately, who gives a fuck? ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/3 "2005-03-03T23:54:07Z")
Truly it is said “blessed are the cheesemakers”. ---
**Author:** ![fortytwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f9ae1b/32.png) [@fortytwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fortytwo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/4 "2005-03-04T00:03:09Z")
I don’t always agree or disagree with **Hamlet** in the threads but I applaud him for getting a cheese sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/5 "2005-03-04T00:17:06Z")
You had to open a new thread for this? ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/6 "2005-03-04T00:22:09Z")
… It’s a parody of Liberal’s thread. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/7 "2005-03-04T00:24:05Z")
I don’t like cheese sandwiches, I am not on my way to fix a cheese sandwich, and I don’t even believe there _are_ any cheese sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/8 "2005-03-04T00:36:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I don’t like cheese sandwiches, I am not on my way to fix a cheese sandwich, and I don’t even believe there _are_ any cheese sandwiches. I saw a cheese sammich myself one. In 1960. For 20 minutes. It took me that long to eat it, ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/9 "2005-03-04T00:40:48Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I don’t like cheese sandwiches, I am not on my way to fix a cheese sandwich, and I don’t even believe there _are_ any cheese sandwiches. Look, nobody said you had to like cheese sandwiches. But you at least need to understand that ultimately, whatever you eat, all is cheese in the _jardin._ ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/10 "2005-03-04T00:57:33Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Look, nobody said you had to like cheese sandwiches. But you at least need to understand that ultimately, whatever you eat, all is cheese in the _jardin._ As an eater of processed _Cheese Food_ I’m offended by everything in this thread. None of you will ever find your way into Wisconsin. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/11 "2005-03-04T00:59:55Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > As an eater of processed _Cheese Food_ I’m offended by everything in this thread. > > None of you will ever find your way into Wisconsin. > > -Joe Yeah, like any of us really believe there _is_ a “Wisconsin”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/12 "2005-03-04T01:09:27Z")
Parody thread. Cheesey, too. Locked. TVeblen Pit mod ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/13 "2005-03-04T13:48:51Z")
Parody thread _with a link_. Ouch. Opened right back up. Though it still disses cheese. TVeblen Pit mod ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/14 "2005-03-04T13:50:37Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Yeah, like any of us really believe there _is_ a “Wisconsin”. :rolleyes: Regardless of whether you believe in Wisconsin, you’re still a Green Bay fan. ---
**Author:** ![InvidiousCourgette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@InvidiousCourgette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InvidiousCourgette)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/15 "2005-03-04T14:02:23Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > 1. I’ve been here a long time and I’m hungry. I do have some friends here, and they may want to know that, in a little while, I won’t be hungry anymore. This notice is for them. If I didn’t let them know, they may think I’m starving to death. I can safely say that cheese is a dairy product. > [@Hamlet](#): > > 1. It provides a clean break. In another thread, I read about cheese sandwiches and I got really hungry for one. This will inform all and sundry that I’m hungry. No, it does not give you the opportunity to inform all and sundry. That would be spamming. And I don’t think spam should be a constituent part of anyone’s diet. I don’t know the backstory here but I suspect you may be a cheesist. Polycheesists believe in all cheese sandwiches. A fact you should reflect on. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/16 "2005-03-04T14:09:53Z")
> [@InvidiousCourgette](#): > > Polycheesists believe in all cheese sandwiches. A fact you should reflect on. And you may wish to check out Polycheesism doctrine at [this site.](http://www.kraftfoods.com/pollyo/po_string.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/17 "2005-03-04T14:20:34Z")
Look, we’re all dancing around the issue here. Let me just ask the question on everyone’s mind straight out: Did, or did not, the cheese sandwich that you may have already eaten by now, actually have the image of the Virgin Mary toasted into one tasty side? And, if so, was the sandwich sacrilicious? ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/18 "2005-03-04T14:32:37Z")
> [@InvidiousCourgette](#): > > . . .I suspect you may be a cheesist. Polycheesists believe in all cheese sandwiches. A fact you should reflect on. Since no specific cheese has been mentioned, I suspect Hamlet may be a pancheesist. Pancheesists believe all cheeses are one. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/19 "2005-03-04T14:33:22Z")
This is just wrong. A cheese sandwich. Just cheese? Where’s the tomato? The only true cheese sandwich is tomato, cheddar cheese, and Miracle Whip. Now I’m hungry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/20 "2005-03-04T14:46:29Z")
Look, I told you that you were perfectly free to leave the cheese sandwich alone for us cheese-lovers to eat. But you stubbornly refuse to do so. Why do you keep dragging yourself back into the cheese? Why? Don’t you know that it will make such a mess? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822.md?page=2)