# For the sake of girth **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822 "2005-03-03T23:48:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/41 "2005-03-04T21:43:46Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Okay, I got nuttin’. But it was a gouda try… ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/42 "2005-03-04T21:59:01Z")
I’ll be having a “Cheeses of Nazereth” Fondue this evening. envy me. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/43 "2005-03-04T22:12:21Z")
I got the bartender to give me a cheese sandwich once in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy text game once. But when I ate it, it (the cheese sandwich) made me sick and I died. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/44 "2005-03-04T22:12:58Z")
Edam all you little Muensters for making me laugh so hard. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/45 "2005-03-04T22:48:21Z")
> [@Celyn](#): > > Truly it is said “blessed are the cheesemakers”. I hope it applies to all makers of milk products, then I can eat my yoghurt and be blessed. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/46 "2005-03-05T01:15:33Z")
We should pan fry some. oooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/47 "2005-03-05T01:18:37Z")
As far as I’m concerned, there is as much evidence for “Cheese Sandwiches” as there are for “The Invisible Pink Fondue Fork”, i.e. none. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/48 "2005-03-05T02:49:40Z")
I’ve had just about enough of you, **Hamlet**. You go on talking about cheese sandwiches like you’re the Dairy King or something. I spent many years shivering in Wisconsin, and I learned a thing or two about cheese in the process. I certainly learned enough to be able to tell that you couldn’t make a decent cheese sandwich if Julia Child herself appeared to you in the kitchen bearing a copy of **Cheese Sandwiches for Dummies**. There’s more to making cheese sandwiches than slapping some Velveeta on a slice of Wonder Bread. Go have a Cup O’ Noodle or something and leave the cheese sandwiches to those who actually know what they’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/49 "2005-03-05T03:19:08Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > As far as I’m concerned, there is as much evidence for “Cheese Sandwiches” as there are for “The Invisible Pink Fondue Fork”, i.e. none. How dare you denigrate my beliefs by comparing them to some puerile “invisible pink fondue fork,” you dobermanfucking cocksucker. The cheese sandwich _I_ believe in is an incredibly abstract cheese sandwich–the kind of cheese sandwich so abstract it’s beyond our complete comprehension. It’s not just the classic “two slices of cheddar on toast” cheese sandwich; rather, it’s the ultimate ontological basis for _ALL_ dairy products served with leavened wheat bread. To compare my conceptualization of a cheese sandwich to an “invisible pink fondue fork” is tantamount to killing kittens with a ball-peen hammer. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/50 "2005-03-05T03:57:35Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Look, nobody said you had to like cheese sandwiches. But you at least need to understand that ultimately, whatever you eat, all is cheese in the _jardin._ I like mine with giardinera. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/51 "2005-03-05T04:03:37Z")
This thread makes the baby Roquefort cry. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/52 "2005-03-05T04:13:27Z")
I was wondering… is there salivation for the lactose intolerant? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/53 "2005-03-05T04:51:57Z")
Look. Respec mah authoritay, 'cos I’m only going to say this once: I AM THE CHEESE ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/54 "2005-03-05T04:54:03Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Look. Respec mah authoritay, 'cos I’m only going to say this once: > > I AM THE CHEESE Now we know why the cheese stands alone. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/55 "2005-03-05T13:04:12Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > This is just wrong. A cheese sandwich. Just cheese? Where’s the tomato? The only true cheese sandwich is tomato, cheddar cheese, and Miracle Whip. Heretic! Blasphemer! Everyone knows the one True Cheese Sandwich can only be made with whole wheat bread\* and cheddar cheese, toasted on a grill with 100% pure butter† and _nothing else_!!! - - Some older sects insist on the use of White Bread. They are holdovers of old times and have not kept up with modern Sandwichmaking. Do not believe them! † - Some newer sects insist on the use of Low Fat Butter Substitutes. They are heretics of the worst sort, substituting Modern Convenience for True Belief. Do not believe them! > [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I was wondering… is there salivation for the lactose intolerant? Grooooaaaan!!! Sniff. That was wonderful! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/56 "2005-03-05T15:49:44Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Now we know why the cheese stands alone. “I am a Roquefort, I am an island…” ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/57 "2005-03-05T17:54:13Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Yeah, like any of us really believe there _is_ a “Wisconsin”. :rolleyes: I thought ‘Wisconsin’ was one of those fictional made-up names, like Hoboken or Hobbiton. ---
**Author:** ![Mentor\_and\_Liar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mentor\_and\_Liar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mentor_and_Liar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/58 "2005-03-06T13:46:05Z")
I wish I were a cheesemaker. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/59 "2005-03-06T15:41:35Z")
This has got to be one of the cheesiest threads, EVAR! > [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > [Singing] Keep your eye-ee-eye-ee-eye on the sammich[/singing] > (geek cred for anyone who gets that reference) When I read that, I could swear I heard Sammy Davis Jr singing it before an episode of ‘Baretta’. ---
**Author:** ![Twoflower](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/twoflower/32/22_2.png) [@Twoflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twoflower)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/60 "2005-03-06T16:18:03Z")
I was in Wisconsin once. For about 20 minutes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822.md?page=4)