# For the sake of girth **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822 "2005-03-03T23:48:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/61 "2005-03-06T16:35:08Z")
> [@imthjckaz](#): > > This has got to be one of the cheesiest threads, EVAR! > > When I read that, I could swear I heard Sammy Davis Jr singing it before an episode of ‘Baretta’. It’s actually an MST3000 reference. One of the bots sang it at Joe Don Baker in the _Mitchell_ episode. ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/62 "2005-03-06T17:00:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Now we know why the cheese stands alone. OMG! Not only are the inmates nuts, the keepers are crazy too. Where do you guys come up with this shit? As a newbie it’s really nice being able to put into words, what I’ve been thinking these past few months while I was lurking, it really is. BUT, I don’t think I am nearly OUT THERE sufficiently to compete with you guys. I feel like I just walked in to the middle of a Marx Bros. movie ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/63 "2005-03-06T17:31:31Z")
> [@gommsn](#): > > OMG! Not only are the inmates nuts, the keepers are crazy too. Where do you guys come up with this shit? As a newbie it’s really nice being able to put into words, what I’ve been thinking these past few months while I was lurking, it really is. BUT, I don’t think I am nearly OUT THERE sufficiently to compete with you guys. > > I feel like I just walked in to the middle of a Marx Bros. movie Maybe we _should_ back off on the puns just a bit, if it’s starting to cheese off the newbies. ---
**Author:** ![Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/58956e/32.png) [@Hoodoo\_Ulove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoodoo_Ulove)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/64 "2005-03-06T17:54:49Z")
Feeling cheese doubt? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/65 "2005-03-06T18:24:10Z")
I am impressed by these _bon mozz_. ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/66 "2005-03-06T18:30:41Z")
Cheese it! The newbies are looking! ¡Vaya con Queso! ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/67 "2005-03-07T00:25:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Maybe we _should_ back off on the puns just a bit, if it’s starting to cheese off the newbies. That’s mighty Gouda you, **Czarcasm**. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/68 "2005-03-07T01:22:22Z")
CHEEZUS CHRIST! Enough already. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/69 "2005-03-07T02:03:02Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Way too specific. They all lead back to the pasture. Reasonable people can differ as to whether the animal in the center of the pasture is a cow, a sheep, or a goat. Sometimes, such differences will turn out to be udderly divisive. Though all cheeses may lead back to the pasture, some so-called “cheese foods”, or (even worse) “cheez” lead to the less pastural parts of the pasture. Only those who have the “true and complete” cheese will get into the choicest part of the pasture, where the grass is greenest, the air is sweetest, and you can barely hear the interstate. However, those who eat _soy cheese_, and try to lure others from the one, true curd, will not be going to the pasture after their cheese sandwich has come to an end, but will end up at the Vince Lombardi rest area on the NJ turnpike, where it rains for all eternity, and the nearby refineries make the sky actually pulse with an eerie light. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/70 "2005-03-07T02:34:01Z")
> [@Mentor and Liar](#): > > I wish I were a cheesemaker. That should be “I wish I **was** a cheesemaker.” (Be careful what you wish for.) > [@gommsn](#): > > OMG! Not only are the inmates nuts, the keepers are crazy too. You\* have to be nuts\* to be a moderator here. It’s in the job description. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/71 "2005-03-07T02:48:47Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > That should be “I wish I **was** a cheesemaker.” (Be careful what you wish for.) Well… he’s in a better place now. For everyone. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/72 "2005-03-07T03:11:35Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > That should be “I wish I **was** a cheesemaker.” (Be careful what you wish for.) I thought (and this is going waaaaay back) that it should be “were”, as it is a contrary-to-fact statement, i.e., he’s not a cheesemaker. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/73 "2005-03-07T04:35:01Z")
> [@leander](#): > > I thought (and this is going waaaaay back) that it should be “were”, as it is a contrary-to-fact statement, i.e., he’s not a cheesemaker. Quite so, but I presume that **Mentor and Liar** was quoting the signature of the late **Collounsbury** , which had it the way I said. Several people, including me, pointed out to him that it should in fact be have been **were** , but he insisted that **was** was correct for the sense in which he meant it. However, I never recall seeing what the explanation for this might be. It could be correct if he wished he had been a cheesemaker in the past, rather that wishing he were a cheesemaker now. ---
**Author:** ![Boldface\_Type](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@Boldface\_Type](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boldface_Type)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/74 "2005-03-07T04:43:13Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > This thread makes the baby Roquefort cry. The baby cheesus, surely? ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/75 "2005-03-07T04:51:14Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Quite so, but I presume that **Mentor and Liar** was quoting the signature of the late **Collounsbury** , which had it the way I said. Several people, including me, pointed out to him that it should in fact be have been **were** , but he insisted that **was** was correct for the sense in which he meant it. However, I never recall seeing what the explanation for this might be. It could be correct if he wished he had been a cheesemaker in the past, rather that wishing he were a cheesemaker now. Wait, you tried to _correct_ **Collounsbury** about something? You got cheese between your ears or what? 😉 Actually, this thread did remind me of our long-lost friend and his sig. But I didn’t recall his use of “was”, though it’s hardly surprising. Wonder how he’s doing these days, poor chap… ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/76 "2005-03-07T04:54:26Z")
That’s a touching statement of Gouda wheel. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/77 "2005-03-07T06:17:54Z")
> [@leander](#): > > Wonder how he’s doing these days, poor chap… He’s in Dubai, and has an ear infection. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/78 "2005-03-07T09:05:44Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > He’s in Dubai, and has an ear infection. Bummer. Though I’m sure he’s still informing and irritating in equally strong doses despite any maladies… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/79 "2005-03-07T15:39:15Z")
I’m quite sure **Collounsbury** could cut it as a cheesemaker, even though his true calling was obviously in the grating. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822/80 "2005-03-07T18:44:33Z")
Tread caerphilly we do not speek directly of ch\_\_se but of the Saint Agur. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-sake-of-girth/292822.md?page=5)