# For the single ones among us **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350 "2001-06-11T00:09:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/21 "2001-06-11T05:33:29Z")
I don’t miss having to watch everything I say or do for fear that I might make a miss-step somewhere and give her the wrong impression. I don’t miss having to be the one to take the initative and decide everything simply because I was born with a “Y” chromosome. (For God’s sake, you say you’re an independant woman, **you** pick where we eat tonight!) I don’t miss having to anaylize everything she says to make sure I’m not missing some subtle hint somewhere that I should be doing something. (Whatever it is you want, just tell me, I’ll do it!) I do miss hugs, I do miss being able to talk to her about things none of my guy friends understand. I do miss cuddling. I do miss having someone in the house besides me. I do miss waking up in the middle of the night and feeling someone in the bed beside me. I do miss discovering things about the world I never knew. I’d miss sex, but its been so long I can’t remember what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Ginkgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3bc359/32.png) [@Ginkgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ginkgo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/22 "2001-06-11T05:54:42Z")
::Feeling eerie, having just been channeled by **MysterEcks** :: Beautifully said. I also don’t miss having never received an apology - not even **once** , for anything during the sixteen years we were together. Now, if I could just get her to let the divorce be finalized. Eighteen months and counting… ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/23 "2001-06-11T05:57:14Z")
I don’t miss: 1. “Why can’t I see you every freakin day?” \< grrrr \> 2. The wild pants one might have worn in the 80s that didn’t look good then, they don’t look good now. (ex-ex boyfriend) 3. I have no money to take you to dinner (thinking, but I have plenty to get my pot for the night.) 4. Not having to pay for every freakin drink on every freaking “date.” 5. Having to drive in ice and snow to pick him up, in the middle of a Bronco game on a Monday night (against the Raiders) because his roommate is going to go get laid by some nasty bitch who has been around more in her 21 years than I have in my 32 and about 50 times more…only to find out his roommate ends up getting a DUI that night, in their driveway just as I was leaving. (long story) 6. Sitting here wearing one of his t-shirts (really) and thinking about this thread. 7. Breaking up with me on Christmas Day for whatever reason I still don’t understand. I know he knows about this site, hopefully he doesn’t read this…he’s just more fresh in my memory than the others in my life. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/24 "2001-06-11T06:03:17Z")
I don’t miss the constant fear that everything’s going to fall to shit. I don’t miss the constant fear that when everything falls to shit it’s going to be my fault. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/25 "2001-06-11T06:26:33Z")
I’m probably the only one who thinks this way, but the thing I really love not worrying about is someone not worrying about me. I can drive 200 miles through a blizzard to my friends bachelor party, without someone wondering whether I’m alive or not. I can do something really stupid and get myself killed without worrying if someone is going to care. ---
**Author:** ![amati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@amati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amati)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/26 "2001-06-11T07:20:32Z")
i’m really glad that i don’t have to rent movies like miss congeniality or 28 days because she gives me the look and promises that “this one is different” or “you’ll really like this one” ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/27 "2001-06-11T07:53:26Z")
Sometimes I imagine that it’s the sex I miss, but what I really miss is talking in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/28 "2001-06-11T09:23:51Z")
> [@](#): > > _BlackKnight_ > \*\*I volunteer! Is there a lengthy approval process? Will I need two forms of identification? \*\* > [@](#): > > _iampunha_ **Me me me me me! And I won’t even cop a feel (unless you want me to) or expect anything along with it. I get by just fine on hugs, actually.** > [@](#): > > _Verrain_ **Now there’s a dream job. I truly miss the girl hugs, especially the ones that would last for days at a time if it wasn’t for those pesky bodily needs. Sign me up.** Nope, no lengthy approval, but there is a probationary period to ensure that the hugs are acceptable and comforting. All applications will be considered. Testing is a necessary part of the application process. **Purd Werfect** , I forgot about talking in the dark. But I really think **FisherQueen** described my feelings perfectly with: > [@](#): > > **And I won’t get married until I meet someone whose company is actually better than having the apartment to myself.** ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/29 "2001-06-11T13:55:41Z")
It’s been a good ten years since I’ve been in a serious relationship, and most of all, I love being ALONE. I luxuriate in going to bed when I want, working on my books as long as I want, sitting around and reading, watching what I want on TV, not having to keep up a steady stream of banter. Guess I’m just a loner at heart; I can’t imagine ever living with anyone again. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/30 "2001-06-11T14:25:41Z")
I miss kisses (I don’t miss hugs because my friends and I, male and female, hug each other all the time (anytime, **Lsura** , anytime)). I especially miss Beth’s kisses. We broke up in 1998 and I’m still not over the way she kissed. I miss sex to a lesser degree. Sex is overrated. I miss having someone to try new restaurants with, to see the latest movies with, to just be with and make faces at. What I don’t miss: well, to illustrate by example: I got back from vacation almost a month ago, and a lot of the crap I brought home from Europe is still in a big pile in the center of my living room. It sure doesn’t bother me… ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/31 "2001-06-11T18:21:10Z")
I don’t miss her insecurity. I don’t miss having to explain why I want to go skiing with friends from college, without her, even though we were going to Jackson Hole and she’s never been on skis before (and it was all guys that week, to boot.) I don’t miss her petty and materialistic “friends” and being told that, although the diamond was nice, the 18k gold ring I had custom made to fit it “looks cheap, platinum would have been better.” I don’t miss carrying debt, though I was glad to do it at the time. I don’t miss _her_[sub]mostly, but sometimes…[/sub]. I do miss kissing. Those deep, soulful kisses. Not the rushed, passionate kisses that you can get early in a realationship, but the slow, deep, wet kisses that last for three days.[sub]Thanks, Bull Duram[/sub] I do miss being intimate, physically and emotionally. I do miss lounging in the bath together for an hour or more. I do miss being able to just hold her (“her” being the generic “someone” from this point out), contentedly breathing in her scent. I do miss thinking “I’ve found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with!” I do miss cooking for her, reading lazily on Sunday afternoons and snuggling in front of the fireplace. I do miss being in love and the rising swell and smile that comes every time I would see her. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/32 "2001-06-11T18:24:52Z")
[swoon] Any of you guys wanna move to Canada? ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/33 "2001-06-11T19:03:40Z")
Reading this thread makes me wonder how I got along before I met my wife. Sure I had girlfriends and such but nobody “permenant” to come home to afterwork. It really makes a guy (or gal) feel lucky and appreciate who they have, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/34 "2001-06-11T20:00:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lsura \* > Nope, no lengthy approval, but there is a probationary period to ensure that the hugs are acceptable and comforting. > > All applications will be considered. Testing is a necessary part of the application process. Hmm . . . what should I include in my resumé? I have several dopers for references, with whose names I can supply you (that sentence fragment should be taken out and shot, then beaten, then shot again) if necessary. I’m just striggling to textually describe a hug. I mean, I could go with ::puts his arms her, letting her take some control but keeping some for himself such that he can feel like he’s holding her and she can as well … :: and then continue with ::feels her face near his and smiles inside, wondering what she’d think if she knew that he was perfectly content to stay there for the time being:: but there’s something that just seems so fake and . . . . supermarket-rommance-wannabe about it. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/35 "2001-06-11T20:48:36Z")
The one thing I hated about sharing a bed with somebody was actually sleeping with them. I hated feeling her breath on me when I was trying to get to sleep. I love to cuddle, but I hate feeling too warm, and a pair of humans tend to generate a lot of heat even when they’re just holding each other. Letting her fall asleep in my arms was also a pain because I never figured out how to do it without losing circulation in one of my arms. Still, it was great knowing that my favorite somebody was always within arm’s reach, and I’d put up with it all for that. I’m available for giving the aforementioned “guy hugs” to just about any female in Manhattan between the ages of 18 and dead – preferred range 25-34. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/36 "2001-06-11T20:57:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*[swoon]Any of you guys wanna move to Canada? \*\* Once the school year starts I’ll be in Duluth, MN, which is pretty darned close to Canada. _smile_ _hands Lsura his application which is remarkably free from coffee stains and crinkles, then hugs her_ ((Lsura)) ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/37 "2001-06-11T21:00:33Z")
I don’t miss drunken phone calls from bars with girls giggling in the background. I don’t miss the moodiness, the sullen silence, or the cold shoulder. I don’t miss the embarrassed silence of my friends who knew what he’d done before I did. I _do_ miss the hot monkey sex… but apparently, so do lots of other people. I add my voice to FisherQueen’s sentiment: I won’t even consider myself “involved” until I find someone whose company I enjoy more than my own. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/38 "2001-06-11T21:41:05Z")
I don’t miss the recriminations about money. Or the constant pressure to be more confrontational. Or wondering, when he was home alone, if everything would be all right when I got back. Or wondering, for that matter, how long he would stay clean this time. Or all the subjects that we learned to avoid, and just kept avoiding. I do miss… Getting kissed on the back of the neck. That mischievous, charismatic grin. The way he smelled. And I, too, have vowed to wait until I find someone who’s better at making me happy than I am myself. Given how happy I am in general, that’s gonna take some doing. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/39 "2001-06-11T22:33:41Z")
_Ever Acted On a Dream ?_ at a message board near you.😉 In relationship to _that_ post, I do not miss the rejection associated in trying to get to know someone new or someone who was once in your life that you _didn’t_ get to know. Or the “jerky” feeling you get afterward, like “what made me _do_ that?” I too like living alone, but I gotta tell ya’, I don’t like it more than having a sweet lady here to make love to, watch movies with or just discuss things, about her or about me. And my friends. Man, they mean well, you know? But going to church, to bars or parties has never been my style, and at my age, I better like my “style” or I’m in trouble. So the women I see most often are the ones I work with and _they_ are either married, too young or have nothing in common with me. And _that_ is why I frequent this MB. There are people here just like me, and maybe _that one_ is here too. But even if she isn’t, then at least I am in good company. And I am grateful for that. Quasi ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350/40 "2001-06-11T22:41:58Z")
Well, I’ve never had a girlfriend, but one thing I just love, and probably would continue to enjoy if I get one is the cuddling. Her lying on her side with my head in that little dip at her hip… Ok, now I’m even more down, thanks :). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-the-single-ones-among-us/68350.md?page=3)