# For those that have been married for 30 years or more **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2017, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016 "2017-07-11T17:41:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2017, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/41 "2017-07-15T07:32:15Z")
37 years as of last January. For our 30th I took her to Virginia Beach, one of the places we had honeymooned. Having been to [everywhere](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=495577) else in America it was a bit of an anti-climax. Speaking of climax, our boink activity is still alive and well after all these years. Why am I telling you this? **I’M TELLING EVERYBODY!** ;)🆒 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2017, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/42 "2017-07-15T11:16:51Z")
Why does the rooster crow in the morning? Because he can. Keep it up 😉 old buddy. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2017, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/43 "2017-07-15T18:14:55Z")
Hmmm . Lost my first wife after just over 24 years, way too soon. Luckily, I was able steal fire from Heaven twice and remarried coming up on 19 years. So, while I’ve been married for soon to be 43 years, never did a 30th. Hoping for a 25th and a 30th this time around ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/44 "2017-07-15T18:16:15Z")
Sorry - that was too much about me. I did want to congratulate Czarcasm and his bride, having had the opportunity to meet him IRL at a Portland Dopefest a couple of years back. Keep up the good work. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/45 "2017-07-15T20:35:35Z")
32 years for us. We just went out for dinner for the 30th. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2017, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/46 "2017-07-15T22:38:34Z")
First, congrats to **Czarcasm.** Just had mine in June. My kids are grown and in college or out on their own, but this year we had our first “family” vacation in ages with everyone together again. We went to Hilton Head Island which we have been going to since the kids were little. We all had a blast. The actual dinner was at a great restaurant we first went to when it first opened 15 years ago. One of our favorite places to go on the island is The Salty Dog. Everybody who has ever gone to the island has a Salty Dog t-shirt. We were thrilled to see that they were also celebrating their 30th anniversary so they had special shirts, can coozies, etc that all say “30 Years.” We bought several and it was a fun way to remember the trip. Again congrats on 30 years, and as my shirt says “that’s 210 in dog years.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/47 "2017-07-17T05:57:55Z")
What with weeks having seven days, and leap year cycles having four years, my sense of cycle completion demanded that I arrange a special anniversary celebration on our 28th. In our wedding keepsake album we still have the little cardboard folder that contained the room key from our wedding night (with the room number written inside). Although the hotel had changed hands (and its name), it was still there, and had not only A room available, it had OUR room available. So we spent the night in the same room, and enjoyed the same Sunday brunch the following morning. The staff were very kind, and sent up a plate of truffles and a bottle of champagne. I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I have no clear recollection of what we did on our 30th anniversary. Our 34th will be coming up on Thanksgiving weekend this year. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/48 "2017-07-17T09:47:19Z")
Nearly 34 for us and since our anniversary is New Years Eve we never do anything special except this past one we were at our grandson’s wedding. I don’t recall anything special for the 30th. It is rare now days for couples to stay married so long I think. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/49 "2017-07-17T11:43:56Z")
Yes, 100 percent of marriages end in either divorce or death. A sobering thought. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/50 "2017-07-17T12:31:58Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Yes, 100 percent of marriages end in either divorce or death. A sobering thought. Not really. Some end in annulment. In addition there have been cases where a missing spouse is declared dead but is later learned to have been alive at the time. The marriage is over with the declaration of death but no divorce or actual death. A marriage can also be declared to be invalid. E.g., the two people shouldn’t have gotten married due to incest, an existing valid marriage or some such. You can say “almost all” but you can’t say “100 percent”. Anyway … today is the big Four-Oh. Remember the line from _The Heartbreak Kid_ (and also used in the remake): “… for the next forty or fifty years”? Been there, done that. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/51 "2017-07-17T12:56:45Z")
Only on 27 years here but so far, so good. My parents just passed the 57-year mark and my in-laws their 58th, so the precedent is good (both for marital stability and general longevity). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/52 "2017-07-17T13:07:51Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Not really. Some end in annulment. To be pedantic, an annulled marriage officially never actually existed. > [@](#): > > In addition there have been cases where a missing spouse is declared dead but is later learned to have been alive at the time. The marriage is over with the declaration of death but no divorce or actual death. But it doesn’t resume with the revenance? > [@](#): > > A marriage can also be declared to be invalid. E.g., the two people shouldn’t have gotten married due to incest, an existing valid marriage or some such. See first response. Isn’t the Dope just grand? > [@](#): > > Anyway … today is the big Four-Oh. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/53 "2017-07-17T14:32:44Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > But it doesn’t resume with the revenance? A. No. B. If the person was revealed to _have_ been alive at the time of the remarriage, etc., but that fact was found out only _after_ they died, then there is no interference with the new marriage in any case. The marriage ended with the declaration of death. To be clear, a timeline: Person disappears. Years pass and is declared dead. Spouse remarries. Person dies. Person is then discovered to have been alive after the (valid) remarriage. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/54 "2017-07-17T14:46:50Z")
While we’re quibbling for the fun of it … There’s also the special case of “marriage ends with both dying effectively simultaneously in the same event.” e.g. a mongo car crash. The poignancy of the original “100% of marriages end in death or divorce” saying is that one or both of them will live through the end of their marriage and have to go through being a survivor of that nasty transition. My special case points out where neither get to live through (much of) the end of their marriage and there’s no survivorship to speak of. Thereby defeating much of the poignancy of the saying. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/55 "2017-07-17T15:02:52Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Anyway … today is the big Four-Oh. Congratulations! So…any plans? ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/56 "2017-07-17T22:54:11Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > There’s also the special case of “marriage ends with both dying effectively simultaneously in the same event.” e.g. a mongo car crash. Which could be a murder/suicide. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/57 "2017-07-17T23:37:24Z")
Funny about how one’s occupation shapes one’s thinking. In my line of work a group death is usually an accident with heavy machinery. In your line of work a group death is usually murder(s) plus maybe a suicide finale. Though no doubt over the years you’ve seen plenty of car crashes, bus plunges, house fires, etc. as well as the homicides. ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/58 "2017-07-18T21:04:02Z")
If I could remember back 24 years, I could give specifics. But I am certain that a good time was had by both of us, and no doubt we dressed up all fancy for dinner in an upscale restaurant, where the food was good and the wine excellent. Then probably made our way back home and so forth. I got lucky to be with my wife starting at age 21. Lots of water under the bridge, but no floods and the creek has never dried up. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/59 "2017-07-18T21:07:31Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > We just celebrated our 29th, but I’m going to keep checking in here for good ideas! Congrats, **Czarcasm**! Same here. Our 29th is in a few months - great tips all. Our honeymoon was passing out in our new, empty house after a very, very long day. She’s going to be impressed with anything. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2017, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016/60 "2017-07-19T00:49:18Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > December will mark 34 years for us. And honestly, except for our 6th, when we did a reaffirmation of vows in front of family and friends (since we eloped and all) we never do much of anything on our anniversaries. My family was aghast that we mostly ignored our 25th, and I honestly don’t know that we did anything on our 30th, unless it fell during that brief span of years where we went to the Japanese Steak House on or around our anniversary. > > It’s just never been a big deal for us. December will be 34 years for us as well. For our honeymoon, we took the kids home and had pizza. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-that-have-been-married-for-30-years-or-more/791016.md?page=2)