# For those who don't like Woody Allen movies... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 12, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324 "2008-02-12T20:13:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/1 "2008-02-12T20:13:18Z")
this might change your mind (courtesy of IMDB): > [@](#): > > Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson are to steam up the big screen in Woody Allen’s new movie - by taking part in a reported lesbian sex scene. The actresses will lock lips and get hot and heavy in _Vicky Cristina Barcelona_, which also features Cruz’s boyfriend Javier Bardem. According to British tabloid The Sun, Allen’s aiming for one of the most erotic scenes in movie history. A source tells the publication, “People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and the whole scene will leave the audience gasping.” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/2 "2008-02-12T20:19:25Z")
I’m so there. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/3 "2008-02-12T20:24:49Z")
Tickets go on sale when? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/4 "2008-02-12T20:43:58Z")
As long as he doesn’t decide to write himself into that scene… ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/5 "2008-02-12T20:46:45Z")
[QUOTE=scout1222] As long as he doesn’t decide to write himself into that scene… [/QUOTE] Or Javier Bardem for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/6 "2008-02-12T20:49:05Z")
Hell, I think the title of this thread could just as easily be, “For those who think they’re gay…” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/7 "2008-02-12T20:51:02Z")
Nope, just take this as further evidence that he’s an asshole. twicks, 53, female, straight ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/8 "2008-02-12T21:02:52Z")
All movies should have a scene with Penelope Cruz and Scarlette Johanson kissing. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/9 "2008-02-12T21:07:40Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Nope, just take this as further evidence that he’s an asshole. twicks, 53, female, straight [/QUOTE] Does this also apply to the thousand other movie directors who have directed similar scenes? Does it only apply to those working in mainstream Hollywood productions? Does it matter that it’s a gay sex scene instead of a straight sex scene? Would it make a difference if it were two men? What if it were a masturbation scene or a lingering shower scene? How much simple nudity does it take before a director becomes an asshole? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/10 "2008-02-12T22:25:47Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Nope, just take this as further evidence that he’s an asshole. twicks, 53, female, straight [/QUOTE] nah, he’s just decided that he wants to sell some tickets for a change. It’s been tough since he’s lost his sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/11 "2008-02-12T22:30:29Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] All movies should have a scene with Penelope Cruz and Scarlette Johanson kissing. [/QUOTE] They do. At least in my head… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/12 "2008-02-12T22:39:47Z")
[QUOTE=Justin\_Bailey] Or Javier Bardem for that matter. [/QUOTE] There is supposed to be a threesome later in the film with Bardem. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/13 "2008-02-12T22:58:29Z")
I do believe we recently had a discussion on Bardem. Jury’s out on whether or not this would be a bad thing. I submit he’s better than Woody Allen. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/14 "2008-02-12T22:59:15Z")
In Local News, Police are baffled by the death of a member of popular online Message Board the SMDb, known only as “Bubastis”. The man was found dead in his home early yesterday, slumped over his computer. Although police aren’t releasing any details, neighbours recall hearing a large “BANG” sound shortly before the man was found. Eyewitness reports are sketchy, but one woman claims to have seen the victim, stating that it looked like his head had “simply popped off his shoulders”. The cause of this remains unknown. More on this later. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/15 "2008-02-12T23:34:20Z")
[QUOTE=scout1222] I do believe we recently had a discussion on Bardem. Jury’s out on whether or not this would be a bad thing. [/QUOTE] Exactly why I posted what I did. This straight guy thinks Bardem is a troll. It’s saying a lot when Woody Harrelson is not the ugliest guy in No Country For Old Men… ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/16 "2008-02-13T00:00:16Z")
Scarlett Johansson is possibly the most overrated (looks and talent-wise) celebrity, ever. Sounds like a waste of what could’ve been a hot Penelope Cruz scene. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/17 "2008-02-13T00:03:36Z")
If Woody Allen wrote himself or any similarity to himself a la Branagh in Celebrity, it’s not worth it. I’ll wait for the clip on a celebrity porn site. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/18 "2008-02-13T00:10:40Z")
Meh. Still not sold. Unless… any full frontal by Bardem? …what? I’m just askin’ ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/19 "2008-02-13T00:44:44Z")
[QUOTE=Exapno Mapcase] How much simple nudity does it take before a director becomes an asshole? [/QUOTE] He started becoming an asshole about 30 years ago when he started taking himself seriously. He cemented his asshole status with the whole “heart wants what it wants” thing with his stepdaughter. A pandering lesbian scene with two actresses widely drooled over is just further evidence that he’s an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324/20 "2008-02-13T00:51:00Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] He started becoming an asshole about 30 years ago when he started taking himself seriously. He cemented his asshole status with the whole “heart wants what it wants” thing with his stepdaughter. A pandering lesbian scene with two actresses widely drooled over is just further evidence that he’s an asshole. [/QUOTE] It’s been a long time since Allen made a movie that wasn’t basically produced to get his own rocks off. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-those-who-dont-like-woody-allen-movies/437324.md?page=2)