# For time-traveling cannibals, who were the best people to eat, historically? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 21, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815 "2009-02-21T04:10:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RoniaBorkason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9dc877/32.png) [@RoniaBorkason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoniaBorkason)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/21 "2009-02-21T22:46:12Z")
Don’t carnivores taste worse? I suggest India before the British got there. More likely to find a vegetarian - just be sure to pick a high-class child, for the peak of flavor, marbling, and non-toughness. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/22 "2009-02-21T23:13:52Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Honestly, with a time machine, I’m not worried about being caught. All I need is like a 30-second window to reel in my prey, and I’m outta there, and undetectable. Why does a Time-traveling-cannibal version of the Blackadder II episode “Chains” come to mind? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jormundgondir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@jormundgondir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jormundgondir)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/23 "2009-02-22T00:50:56Z")
I’m thinking premodern mid-caste Polynesians might be a good bet, too. Clean ample water supply, a healthy amount of both protein and fat in the diet, lots of fish and veggies, fairly easy lifestyle so nicely marbled without being too fatty. Drug-free and chemical-free, no communicable diseases to be all that wary of, easy enough to pick one off and blame it on some shark-god who turned into a half-man just long enough to take a rightful sacrifice… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/24 "2009-02-22T02:31:08Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The idea of harder working, and hence tougher and less tasty, is also useful. The best idea I can come up with to avoid the toughest of them is to go after slave-owners, who presumably do less labor. Maybe I’ll spend a good deal of time hopping through Rome and various Greek city-states, as they seem to have developed some pretty adequate leisure classes. Eww - why not just dip a hamburger in raw sewage? It’d be a heck of a lot cheaper, and you can stick around the 21st century (and have access to modern emergency rooms). Cities prior to modern sanitation were rife with disease - if you eat pre-modern city dwellers, _you’ll_ be rife with disease, too. Farmers had slaves too, though. Maybe hit up a villa? ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/25 "2009-02-22T02:44:44Z")
For Victorian London, Mrs. Lovett has some [advice](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/sweeneytodd/alittlepriest.htm): ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/26 "2009-02-22T14:49:46Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Eww - why not just dip a hamburger in raw sewage? It’d be a heck of a lot cheaper, and you can stick around the 21st century (and have access to modern emergency rooms). … I can always come back to this time if I need medical treatment. But… it’s an interesting question how many diseases can be passed on through injestion, as opposed other means. I’m gonna have to think about a redesign, to reduce my contact with my food, until it is well cooked and ready to eat. I’m thinking the best weapon would be a powered, barbed harpoon, attached to a cable and winch, mounted inside a walk-in freezer. So, I would basically fire remotely and just haul them back into the freezer, where they would wait for later preparation. And freezing would be the first stage of decontamination. Hopefully, thorough cooking later would be sufficient to complete the process. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/27 "2009-02-22T15:20:15Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > But… it’s an interesting question how many diseases can be passed on through injestion, as opposed other means. The real answer is “not many”. Most pathogenic microorganisms are killed off by stomach acid. Hepetitis is probably the most realistic threat, that one can be transmitted through consumption. HIV may infect by eating it if you have gingivitis or cuts in your mouth or esophagus. Kurdu is caused by prions, not really “organisms” exactly, and likewise seems more contagious through the skin than the gut. (Prions are just bits of protein, not even as complex as viruses.) Other stuff that makes you sick from ingestion is spoilage related, like listeria, or poor-handling related, like e. coli. If you handle you meat well and eat it promptly, the risks from those are minimal. So the thing is, there aren’t many diseases you can get from eating something, even humans, but the ones you \*can \*get are real doozies! ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/28 "2009-02-22T16:57:38Z")
Why do I love this message board? Threads like this are why I love this message board. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/29 "2009-02-22T19:46:13Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Why do I love this message board? > > Threads like this are why I love this message board. That is such a nice compliment, I pledge not to harpoon you and drag you into my meat locker. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/30 "2009-02-23T00:06:31Z")
Don’t you dare kill and eat anyone in my Darling Marcie’s genetic line. If you can manage to prevent the birth of my ex, you’ll have my eternal gratitude. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/31 "2009-02-23T15:39:14Z")
I think you have come up with The Food Network’s next big hit show. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/32 "2009-02-23T18:00:40Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Maybe I’ll spend a good deal of time hopping through Rome and various Greek city-states, as they seem to have developed some pretty adequate leisure classes. You might want to test the Romans for lead before consuming. I understand they used lead salts to preserve wine. ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/33 "2009-02-23T19:46:35Z")
Well, Spanky told Uncle George in the Wild Man from Borneo bit: “Are you gonna eat me now? I pro’lly won’t taste very good, 'cause my mom says I’m spoiled rotten.” My only experience with cannibals. A time travelling cannibal would likely want a sampling of Louis XIV palace courtesans, a spicy Ming dynasty forbidden city royal concubine, perhaps an Inca from pre-Pizzaro Pachamac, and for dessert, or course, a Nubian Princess. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/34 "2009-02-23T21:19:05Z")
> [@ajdebosco](#): > > … and for dessert, or course, a Nubian Princess. [Banky Edwards] What’s a Nubian? [/Banky Edwards] ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/35 "2009-02-23T21:40:32Z")
> [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > I think you have come up with The Food Network’s next big hit show. They could just do that on Iron Chef. Today’s secret ingredient… Phil! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/36 "2009-02-23T22:13:58Z")
Chefs should make good meals. They’ve eaten all kinds of interesting things and most are fairly plump to boot. ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/37 "2009-02-24T01:26:49Z")
Don’t try eating a jester. They taste funny. ---
**Author:** ![echowit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@echowit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echowit)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/38 "2009-02-24T04:36:41Z")
> [@chicken\_wire](#): > > Eat your grandparents, and let me know how it works out. 🆒 Make sure to get both. Ref Futurama’s “All’s well that …” ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/39 "2009-02-24T07:55:55Z")
Dude! Don’t go to the past for snacks,munch in the future messing with causality is not worth the all the sweet meats from here to 10:000 BC thanks in advance Future you p.s. don’t eat me ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/40 "2009-02-25T02:35:30Z")
So THAT’S what happened to the neanderthals! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815.md?page=3)