# For time-traveling cannibals, who were the best people to eat, historically? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 21, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815 "2009-02-21T04:10:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/41 "2009-02-25T02:37:14Z")
Oh man, talk about gristle! ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/42 "2009-02-25T02:37:50Z")
mmm…neanderthals… ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/43 "2009-02-25T10:23:31Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > Dude! > > Don’t go to the past for snacks,munch in the future > messing with causality is not worth the all the sweet meats from here to 10:000 BC > > thanks in advance > > Future you > p.s. don’t eat me I think **willthekittensurvive?** is seriously onto something. Don’t waste your time eating people in the past who will no doubt be incredibly variable in flavor. Instead, tweak your time machine a little and go into the future. Resolve now to adopt a baby and raise it to perfection. Maybe chain it up and feed it only milk like you would with veal. Or force feed it like a foie gras duck or goose. Or massage it and feed it beer and sake along with a healthy diet of grain and, bam, Kobe kid! You are then guaranteed to have a delicious meal. Sure, you could just wait a few years until you would have the kid to eat, but, dammit, you have a time machine and you’re hungry _now_. The only real problem with this is that you actually have to raise the child _after_ you’ve eaten it. And, within those few years, you cannot have a change of heart and you cannot be otherwise stopped or else the entire space-time continuum will collapse. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/44 "2009-02-25T12:07:51Z")
The odds are overwhelming that I will eat the ancestor of someone who would otherwise turn out to be a factory drone or gas pump jockey. Or I could luck out and pick an ancestor of Hitler or Stalin or Mao. So there is a chance to do good. Besides, I just can’t resist. Kids are sooo fall-off-the-space-time-continuum tender and tasty! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_Clock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Shot\_Clock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_Clock)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/45 "2009-02-25T12:41:48Z")
The Earl of Sandwich? Dame Nellie Melba? Sylvester Graham? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/46 "2009-02-25T17:05:12Z")
> [@goodie](#): > > mmm…neanderthals… I’m not quite that hungry, maybe just a hobbit? Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/47 "2009-02-27T13:32:43Z")
> [@ajdebosco](#): > > … My only experience with cannibals. :smack: Nearly forgot that 1982 classic “Eating Raoul,” a quirky comedy starring Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov. Haven’t seen it in ages, but I love the spanish version of Devil With the Blue Dress On from the soundtrack. And, lest we forget what happens to cannibals, remember the old greek legend of Tantalus.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/48 "2009-02-27T16:17:30Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > You might want to test the Romans for lead before consuming. I understand they used lead salts to preserve wine. Thanks for the heads up. That might also be a problem with tenement kids of the last century, with the whole chewing on the lead paint chips thing. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815/49 "2009-02-27T20:45:48Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > I’m not quite that hungry, maybe just a hobbit? > > Enjoy, > Steven Just stick with finger food then. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-time-traveling-cannibals-who-were-the-best-people-to-eat-historically/486815.md?page=2)