# For when your brain turns to Goop **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2018, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694 "2018-11-17T19:01:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2018, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/1 "2018-11-17T19:01:40Z")
Here are some of the more ridiculous items from Gwyneth Paltrow’s holiday catalog: [King Size 24K Gold Rolling Papers](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/king-size-24k-gold-rolling-papers) “Not intended for use with tobacco, only legal smoking herbs.” [Banana Lamp](https://shop.gessato.com/banana-lamp-louie/) [Self Love Spray](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/self-love-spray) [Rose Quartz Crystal Straw](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/rose-quartz-crystal-straw) [Marble Dumbbell](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/marble-dumbbell) [Ritual Candle](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/bel-ritual-candle) “Strategically placed pins track your meditation session without requiring you to open your eyes.” [Smart Jumprope](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/smart-rope-pure) [Rose Quartz Soothing Face Massage Roller](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/rose-quartz-soothing-face-massage-roller) [Webbed Power Gloves](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/darkfin-power-gloves) [self-Cleaning Bottle](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/the-larq-self-cleaning-bottle) [Tour of a Cannabis Farm](https://emeraldfarmtours.com/collections/manufacturing-facility-tours/products/seed-to-sale-tour) [Toy Salad Kit for Children to Have a Salad Party Instead of a Tea Party](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/garden-salad-kit) [Knit Crown](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/knit-crown) [Custom Lullaby Recording](https://www.ahalife.com/product/149000060230/custom-lullaby-recording) [Spanish Village](https://www.aldeasabandonadas.com/venta-de-aldeas/41-venta-de-aldeas-lugo/2608-aldea-conjunto-rural-en-venta-lugo-con-casas-edificaciones-finca-rio-oferta-149550.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2018, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/2 "2018-11-17T23:45:00Z")
I think it’s fair to say that either she’s a shrewed lady who is willing to cash in on the stupider sort in Hollywood, or it’s advisable to consider the wisdom of unfettered access to limitless quantities of marijuana and its long term effect on your brain. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/3 "2018-11-18T00:40:42Z")
[A few goopy blog entries](https://respectfulinsolence.com/tag/gwyneth-paltrow/). ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/4 "2018-11-18T02:13:11Z")
“I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!” - Schmidt ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/5 "2018-11-18T02:25:57Z")
Stephen Colbert has made fun of this “lifestyle brand” multiple times on his late night show, even once bringing her on to join in the fun. (So I guess she knows how ridiculous it all is.) And she’s not selling to Hollywood, at least not entirely. This shit is meant to be sold to the general public. (BTW, at one point they sold a jade egg meant to placed in one’s vagina, supposedly to “get better connected to the power within”. Eventually the state of California went after them for the bullshit claims.) And somewhere I read that the crap she sells is very similar or even identical to the crap that Alex Jones sells on _his_ website. ---
**Author:** ![Allysium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Allysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Allysium)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/6 "2018-11-18T04:19:59Z")
To be fair, face rollers have a purpose: to get the most product out of face masks, for applying thinner products like serums, as well as the cooling effect the stone has. They’re extravagant for sure and definitely a trend, but they have a purpose in the modern cosmetics industry. If I want a tour of a weed farm, I can just go to my dad’s house. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/7 "2018-11-18T04:45:01Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > [Spanish Village](https://www.aldeasabandonadas.com/venta-de-aldeas/41-venta-de-aldeas-lugo/2608-aldea-conjunto-rural-en-venta-lugo-con-casas-edificaciones-finca-rio-oferta-149550.html) Aye, a real bargain at just under 150,000 Euro. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/8 "2018-11-18T16:06:49Z")
Crystals have essences that you can infuse into a spray? I did not know that. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/9 "2018-11-18T18:21:24Z")
“Self Love Spray” sounds like, er, a personal lubricant. Goop indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/10 "2018-11-19T00:00:38Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > (BTW, at one point they sold a jade egg meant to placed in one’s vagina, supposedly to “get better connected to the power within”. Eventually the state of California went after them for the bullshit claims.) Alas, the jade egg seems to have vanished from the Goop catalog, but you can still get [a rose quartz egg](https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/rose-quartz-egg). No indication as to where one might want to insert it. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/11 "2018-11-19T00:03:04Z")
Note that the rose quartz egg is not returnable. I wonder why. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/12 "2018-11-19T04:21:43Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > [Spanish Village](https://www.aldeasabandonadas.com/venta-de-aldeas/41-venta-de-aldeas-lugo/2608-aldea-conjunto-rural-en-venta-lugo-con-casas-edificaciones-finca-rio-oferta-149550.html) To be fair, I believe this is a villa not a village. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/13 "2018-11-19T04:49:44Z")
No one under the age of 18 should ever attend or host a Salad Party. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/14 "2018-11-19T04:55:24Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > To be fair, I believe this is a villa not a village. [She advertises it as a village.](https://goop.com/style/gift-guides/ridiculous-holiday-gifts/) [She also calls it a village here.](https://shop.goop.com/shop/collection/the-2018-goop-gift-guides) ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/15 "2018-11-19T05:05:08Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Crystals have essences that you can infuse into a spray? I did not know that. Salt is a crystal. I suppose you could go spraying salt water around. Anyway, I’m mainly annoyed that Paltrow has sullied the name of the One True Goop, without which no garage or shop is complete: [http://goophandcleaner.com](http://goophandcleaner.com). Man, that stuff is awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/16 "2018-11-19T06:18:27Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > No one under the age of 18 should ever attend or host a Salad Party. Unless there’s an alternate definition for “salad party” I would just delete “under the age of 18” from that statement. ETA: I just looked up salad party on urban dictionary. Now I would add “or over the age of 28” into **Gatopescado** ’s post. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-when-your-brain-turns-to-goop/824694/17 "2018-11-19T06:32:59Z")
Se7en is on TV right now, so I’ll pop in at the box part and enjoy some schadenfreude.