# For Women Only/Rape by Fraud **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 8, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082 "2010-09-08T18:12:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/1 "2010-09-08T18:12:53Z")
You are either single or can imagine if you were still single. If a man told you he was single and you went to bed with him only to find out later that he was married, would you feel raped ? ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/2 "2010-09-08T18:13:44Z")
No. Lied to - well yes. Like he can’t be trusted - yes. But not raped. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/3 "2010-09-08T18:14:24Z")
No. Jesus Christ. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/4 "2010-09-08T18:15:55Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > No. Jesus Christ. Exactly. Goodness lords above, not everything is rape. Betrayed and hurt, but not raped. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/5 "2010-09-08T18:30:11Z")
Did you think of this for a thought exercise - or did this situation happen somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/6 "2010-09-08T18:31:19Z")
Is this about that Israeli guy who told a girl he was Jewish to get her to sleep with him? ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/7 "2010-09-08T18:42:17Z")
Absolutely not. I’d be angry and lied-to, but that’s not even close to rape. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/8 "2010-09-08T18:43:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Is this about that Israeli guy who told a girl he was Jewish to get her to sleep with him? I hope not because more has been released on that story. Apparently he actually brutally raped and left her half dead but because of her past as a prostitute they didn’t think they could get a conviction so they used the other statute. Also, god no. Lied to, pissed off and quite possibly vindictive but not raped. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/9 "2010-09-08T18:44:45Z")
I’d be pissed because he’s a sleaze and I wouldn’t have done it had I known. But that’s not rape. Bad things can happen relating to sex that aren’t necessarily rape. > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I hope not because more has been released on that story. Apparently he actually brutally raped and left her half dead but because of her past as a prostitute they didn’t think they could get a conviction so they used the other statute. Really? Then why did she say all that stuff about wanting to marry him until she knew he wasn’t Jewish? ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/10 "2010-09-08T19:35:20Z")
No. I mean, assuming the sex was consensual, and all that. I’ve actually been in pretty much this exact situation, and I was pissed off, but absolutely nothing like being raped. (I was mostly pissed off because I found out he was married by someone introducing me to his wife - awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it!) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/11 "2010-09-08T19:57:56Z")
Violated and taken advantage of, but rape is too strong a word. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t that bad though from an emotional standpoint. Both rape and betrayal are very variable experiences that people will process with different intensities under different situations ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/12 "2010-09-08T20:00:05Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’d be pissed because he’s a sleaze and I wouldn’t have done it had I known. But that’s not rape. Bad things can happen relating to sex that aren’t necessarily rape. > > > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > > > I hope not because more has been released on that story. Apparently he actually brutally raped and left her half dead but because of her past as a prostitute they didn’t think they could get a conviction so they used the other statute. > > Really? Then why did she say all that stuff about wanting to marry him until she knew he wasn’t Jewish? I learned about it in the [Pit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=571641&page=8) ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/13 "2010-09-08T20:37:03Z")
My college paper once ran an article about practical jokes. In one of them, a man (a frat guy no doubt) proposed to his girlfriend, and then got a friend to pretend to be a priest, and a bunch of other friends to put on a simulated marriage ceremony. He didn’t tell her it was all make believe until some days later. The paper printed an apology in the next issue, after presumably being told exactly why a young man might want to play that “joke” on a young woman. Let’s assume the woman in question had strong beliefs about celibacy before marriage. Would that magnitude of a lie qualify as rape? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/14 "2010-09-08T20:40:06Z")
When I saw “rape by fraud” I thought it was going to be one of those “twin has sex with brother’s girlfriend” kind of scenarios. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/15 "2010-09-08T21:35:55Z")
And I was expecting the punch line to be that the check bounced. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/16 "2010-09-08T21:41:04Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > My college paper once ran an article about practical jokes. In one of them, a man (a frat guy no doubt) proposed to his girlfriend, and then got a friend to pretend to be a priest, and a bunch of other friends to put on a simulated marriage ceremony. He didn’t tell her it was all make believe until some days later. > > The paper printed an apology in the next issue, after presumably being told exactly why a young man might want to play that “joke” on a young woman. Let’s assume the woman in question had strong beliefs about celibacy before marriage. Would that magnitude of a lie qualify as rape? That’s a pretty crappy thing to do to someone, and I hope karma bites him in the ass eventually. But I don’t like the way we (as a society) are watering down the word rape. Why can’t rape just be the brutal violent act that it is? I could see this scenario being called date rape, but I think we should change that phrase too. Don’t know what to change it to, but categorizing non-violent, non-brutal sexual assaults as rape, feels like it is diminishing the real repugnance of rape. IMHO, YMMV, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/17 "2010-09-08T21:45:35Z")
Ladies. If a man told you he was going to make sweet love to you with his big 9 inch man meat, and then it turned out there was only 8 and a half inches of man meat, would you feel raped? Why or why not? If he makes you coffee with splenda, but he told you it was real sugar, and after you finished the whole mug, he winks and says, ‘gotcha, sucka. That was splenda’, would you feel raped? Why or why not? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/18 "2010-09-08T21:48:11Z")
Of course not, that’s a silly question. I didn’t vote in the poll because the choices are insufficient. I would prefer a simple “no,” because it is bad, just not in the sense the OP is trying to make it out to be. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/19 "2010-09-08T21:55:00Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Ladies. If a man told you he was going to make sweet love to you with his big 9 inch man meat, and then it turned out there was only 8 and a half inches of man meat, would you feel raped? Why or why not? > > If he makes you coffee with splenda, but he told you it was real sugar, and after you finished the whole mug, he winks and says, ‘gotcha, sucka. That was splenda’, would you feel raped? Why or why not? Yes and yes, and I would call the police immediately. If I have sex with someone, if anything he told me was not the 100% absolute truth, it is rape, and the guy should be hauled to prison. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082/20 "2010-09-08T22:29:08Z")
Rape is when I say “no” to sex and you do it anyway. Date rape is when I know you and say “no” to sex and you do it anyway. When you lie, but I willingly have sex with you based on the lie you told me, it is not rape. But if you _ever_ do this to me, I \*will \*shame you in public. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-only-rape-by-fraud/553082.md?page=2)