# For Women. Re: Gene Simmons' Tongue **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 13, 2008, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117 "2008-04-13T02:54:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![slanted\_zipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@slanted\_zipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slanted_zipper)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/61 "2008-04-14T07:12:23Z")
So Gene Simmons is the most unappealing man according to dopers! ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/62 "2008-04-14T08:30:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Boyo Jim** > Maybe the question could be restated. > > If your SO could had Simmons-like tongue inserted to replace the original, would you find that an additional turn-on? If my husband opened his mouth and THAT came out, 1. **madmonk** would hear my shriek all the way from Jakarta. 2. I’d be sure I was having a bad flashback. And I’ve never even taken LSD. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/63 "2008-04-14T08:35:34Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] You guys do know that he has a sex tape out, right? [/QUOTE] From the reactions in this thread, are we to assume that it’s a how not to guide? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/64 "2008-04-14T10:41:27Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] From the reactions in this thread, are we to assume that it’s a how not to guide? 😃 [/QUOTE] Dude wears a teeshirt during the um, proceedings. And he’s playing Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is.” _Foreigner?!_ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/65 "2008-04-14T11:04:51Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Dude wears a teeshirt during the um, proceedings. And he’s playing Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is.” _Foreigner?!_ [/QUOTE] I must admit to curiosity about how you learned these details. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/66 "2008-04-14T11:13:20Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] oh, god, no…do you know where that tongue has been? [/QUOTE] Obviously not on a lot of Doperchicks. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/67 "2008-04-14T11:24:55Z")
[QUOTE=SmartAleq] I mean, really, how yucky must it be to French kiss somebody with a gigantic prehensile tongue? _shudder_ Kinda like kissing a German shepherd or something like–and we’ll have no “peanut butter/nap/all of a sudden” type stories here, thankyewverymuch! [/QUOTE] Yeah, but it’s not like just because it can reach 5" out of his mouth that he has no control over it. It’s not like he’d open is mouth to french kiss and then “oops” it slipped down your throat. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > You guys do know that he has a sex tape out, right? Yeah, but it’s probably best to ignore these things. Kind of like how you should ignore [Chyna’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chyna) sex tape (One Night in Chyna) which features her inch long, penis-like, pierced clit. And I guess judging from the responses in this thread, it makes the following old joke not work, eh? "One night a fairly unattractive older guy walks into a bar with 4 gorgeous women at his side. He sits and chats with them, while they go and buy him drinks. The bartender watches the scene for awhile, and when the women go off to the ladies’ en masse, approaches the guy. He says, ‘I couldn’t help but notice how amazing the women you’re with look. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not the most attractive guy in the world, you can’t have all that much money as the women are buying your drinks, and no one at your table has really been laughing much, so it doesn’t seem like you have a naturally sparkling personality. What’s your secret? Why are all these women so interested in you?’ The old guy looks up at the bartender, licks his eyebrow thoughtfully, and says, ‘I honestly have no idea.’" ---
**Author:** ![BACI](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@BACI](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BACI)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/68 "2008-04-14T11:57:59Z")
You know, don’t you, that by now this thread will have shown up on routine search, and that somewhere the Great Man himself is reading this… So at the risk of hijacking this thread, if the tongue doesn’t do it for you, perhaps a line of constructive feedback on how else His Geneness might shape himself into a from agreeable to the average lady Doper might be in order? (Not, of course, to imply that a lady Doper could _ever_ be average.) M ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/69 "2008-04-14T12:28:49Z")
I don’t think the local folk are his demographic…and I’ll just bet he doesn’t need etiquette lessons from us, I suspect he’s doing just fine. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/70 "2008-04-14T13:00:34Z")
Well, what have I learned from all this ? 1. Women are not turned on by large and dextrous tongues 2. Women are not turned on by Gene Simmons. (except **Fessie** and **Guinastasia** ) 3. And given the volume and speed of the replies to this OP, women are inclined to respond regarding Gene Simmons. Not sure what that means though. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/71 "2008-04-14T13:09:38Z")
😛 I still don’t like his tongue, though - that “come hither” flickering tongue thing IS icky. My husband made that face at me a couple of times back when we were dating (he was a dorky teenager, give him a break). I didn’t actually realize what it was supposed to mean for the _longest_ time – I thought he was just being weird. 😃 :smack: It definitely was **not** sexy. OTOH, watching his hand, unbeknownst to him, as he cut a pear on one of our early dates – HOT HOT HOT. Hmmm, new thread perhaps? – if you decide to ask about sexiest man-parts, I vote for hands. Oh, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/72 "2008-04-14T13:18:04Z")
[QUOTE=slanted zipper] So Gene Simmons is the most unappealing man according to dopers! [/QUOTE] This just has to be the subject of a new thread: Doper Women: Who is less appealing than Gene Simmons? (I hope Richard is in the voting 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/73 "2008-04-14T13:47:52Z")
Eh, I’d do it just to find out if it’s worth the hype. If he’s doing what I’ve got him there for it’s not like I’m going to have to listen to him talk anyway. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/74 "2008-04-14T14:12:09Z")
[QUOTE=fessie] watching his hand, unbeknownst to him, as he cut a pear on one of our early dates – HOT HOT HOT. Hmmm, new thread perhaps? – if you decide to ask about sexiest man-parts, I vote for hands. Oh, yes. [/QUOTE] This is some sort of lewd metaphor I’m just not getting, isn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/75 "2008-04-14T14:44:22Z")
Absolutely not. No way. Scene from _Mad About You_ Paul, licking wedding invitation envelopes: You know, if I had two tongues, I’d be the happiest person on earth right now. Jamie, walking by, lighting cigarette: Second happiest. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/76 "2008-04-14T14:50:46Z")
Anyone flicking his tongue is gross to me. Gene included. But I do think he’s funny. And he has made some good business decisions and I don’t think he’s an idiot. I just wouldn’t want that tongue, or any tongue that’s been where that one has been, near me. It’s a tongue thing, not a Gene Simmons’s Tongue thing. I’m not finding a link to the Tonight show clip. Anyone have it? ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/77 "2008-04-14T15:04:07Z")
There is nothing - physical, mental, emotional, intellectual or any other -al I can think of - attractive about Gene Simmons. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/78 "2008-04-14T15:14:55Z")
[QUOTE=Unintentionally Blank] Obviously not on a lot of Doperchicks. [/QUOTE] Doperchicks no, chicks on dope, most likely. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/79 "2008-04-14T16:09:26Z")
[QUOTE=The Flying Dutchman] I just saw Simmons demonstrate the amazing size of his organ and his awesome dexterity as he makes it dance during the Tonight Show the other evening. I was impressed. What I want to know is if it turns you on. [/QUOTE] It is neat to watch, but no, doesn’t turn me on. Brief story for you – I semi-dated a guy in high school who could lick his own eyebrows. His tongue was ungodly long (obviously). Kissing him was like having a dick in your mouth – not that there’s anything wrong with that, but ya know, if you want a dick in your mouth, you want a dick in your mouth, not a tongue the size of a dick. We always got giggles when he would demonstrate the eyebrow licking, but since I never did more than kiss him, I don’t know if the tongue was better for other things. He went through a “I’m gay” phase before deciding he was bisexual, and last I heard he was back to heterosexual – so I am sure several people know if it’s any good, but I am not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117/80 "2008-04-14T16:25:52Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] It is neat to watch, but no, doesn’t turn me on. Brief story for you – I semi-dated a guy in high school who could lick his own eyebrows. His tongue was ungodly long (obviously). Kissing him was like having a dick in your mouth – not that there’s anything wrong with that, but ya know, if you want a dick in your mouth, you want a dick in your mouth, not a tongue the size of a dick. We always got giggles when he would demonstrate the eyebrow licking, but since I never did more than kiss him, I don’t know if the tongue was better for other things. He went through a “I’m gay” phase before deciding he was bisexual, and last I heard he was back to heterosexual – so I am sure several people know if it’s any good, but I am not one of them. [/QUOTE] Interesting User Name/Post Subject there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-women-re-gene-simmons-tongue/445117.md?page=5)