# For wyldelf... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978 "2001-01-20T04:06:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/1 "2001-01-20T04:06:00Z")
In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56350), **wyldelf** said she is comtemplating a virtual divorce unless I can seduce her back. Unfortunately for me, seduction is not my strong suit, unless you call being an obnoxious smart-ass seductive. So I thought about what I could do to win you back. I could flood your email with e-cards and mail declaring my virtual devotion, but that’s just a bit too stalkerish for my tastes. I’m trying to woo you here, not creep you out. I just want to say that on [page 2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53359&pagenumber=2) of the Virtual Marraige booth I said, “If I can only propose to one though, it would have to be **wyldelf**.” My first virtual marraige to **little\*bit** was a full month before you registered, and she’s been absent for a long time, so I doubt she’d mind if we got virtually divorced. As for the other wives in picked up in the Marraige Booth, let’s just chalk that up to being overwhelmed at being that popular. So, at the risk of alienating my other virtual wives - and not being able to be very seductive on these boards without getting this thread closed in half a heartbeat - I will declare **wyldelf** my favorite virtual wife and remind her that I went to that thread with the intention of marrying only **wyldelf** in the first place. So I’ve stated my case, here’s my awkward attempt at romance: _Here I sit, all broken-hearted…_ No, wait, that’s not a good way to start a poem. Let me try again (ahem): _The monitor’s blurred from my watering eyes, The mousepad is damp from tears that I cry._ No. No, that sucks too. Can I get back to you on the romantic bit? Give me some time to look up - I mean WRITE - a really romantic poem. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/2 "2001-01-20T04:59:59Z")
[sobbing uncontrollably]Oh Crunchy…how could you? I thought we had something special![/sobbing uncontrollably] Oh well… see ya! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/3 "2001-01-20T05:10:17Z")
It’s ok, Miss B Haven, I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but these things happen. You’ll be able to get over it and move on and … Oh. Looks like you’ve already moved on. Well good for you! Be strong, little lady! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/4 "2001-01-20T05:15:53Z")
_Sigh_ Guess I will have my first divorce! Oh wait… maybe we can just get an anullment! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/5 "2001-01-20T05:20:45Z")
See **wyldelf** , I’m losing my other wives for you! I had a feeling this would happen if I ever openly stated I had a favorite. That’s why you’re all listed alphabetically in my sig. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/6 "2001-01-20T05:41:03Z")
I’m still **one of** your favorite posters… Right Crunchy? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/7 "2001-01-20T05:59:15Z")
Great, I think everyone I flirted with is now going to put me on the spot. This is starting to feel as uncomfortable as one of those dreams where you walk into a crowded room and find you’re the only one naked. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/8 "2001-01-20T06:15:04Z")
Well shit, Crunchy, you could have just said no. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kristoph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@kristoph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kristoph)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/9 "2001-01-20T07:44:12Z")
Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy, I truely hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. The wyld one is truely high maintenence, and I hope you’re not alienating yourself here. Don’t despair, I will pass on your poetic romantic reforms and hopefully you’ll be saved. Just don’t be suprised if that naked in a room full of glaring others turns into a naked in a sauna, sweating it out type of dream. Or there’s always my favourite, naked in a giant vat of beer dream. It is true, I can absorb it through my skin, I can I tell you!!! ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/10 "2001-01-20T09:29:55Z")
**wyldelf** , you know in your heart you can only love me. This little fling with the crunchy one will pass, but our love shall endure, I know. I know you will do what is right and I will be here for you always… Sorry **crunchy frog** , but a love like this only comes along once in a century… **Nym** understands as well that I must include her as you two are kindred spirits - I limit myself to one in each hemisphere- its the only way. ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/11 "2001-01-20T10:39:28Z")
I have NO idea what’s going on, but I must say that…um…well…sheesh. What side am I wanting to play to here? Okay, decision made. I’m on wyld’s side. Whatever that may be. Damn, no one woos me on this board. \ Still, wyld’s side, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/12 "2001-01-20T12:30:40Z")
\*\* Wyldelf \*\* is thinking on what “her side” is. I won’t post at the moment as a mixture of pain killers, red wine and a run in with the “ex” are not conducive to anything resembling reason. Forgive me guys for leaving you hanging but I will let you know tomorrow. [sub] I would still like to hear hear a love poem - I have never had one written for me [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/13 "2001-01-20T12:37:36Z")
A poem, for **Wyldelf** by **Nym** Oh, dearest wyld, won’t you know that really I’m the one? There’s only so much that I can show here in front of everyone. You know I care about your friend, you know I want to be there, but how much can I share? When there are two of you to decide between? Were push to come to shove, I’d hate to make a choice, but we can run off together (with **dpr** ) and leave Froggy in the dirt. 😃 Okay, it had NO meter and absolutely didn’t rhyme, but it was heartfelt. Does that count at all? And BTW, did dpr win the lottery or what? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/14 "2001-01-20T22:21:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*Well shit, Crunchy, you could have just said no. ☹ \*\* But I didn’t say no, because you ARE still one of my favorite posters. And **wyldelf** , I hope to have that poem by the end of the night (my night anyway, in about 8 hrs, I have no idea what time it is where you are.) It’ll be a real poem this time too, not one of those silly ones I’ve posted in threads before. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/15 "2001-01-21T00:09:42Z")
Jeez, crunchy! GMT+16 is my mantra… Ah well, I guess we know what your priorities are 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/16 "2001-01-21T00:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **But I didn’t say no, because you ARE still one of my favorite posters.** Oh. Okay then. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/17 "2001-01-21T01:22:38Z")
Baby, what about me? You’re in my sig line, for crying out loud. And even when i change my signature, I always keep you in it. Please don’t neglect me so… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/18 "2001-01-21T01:55:46Z")
And to think **Nymysys** suggested I bit off more than I could chew when I started the Welcome Wagon thread.:rolleyes: **Zoggie** - you know I think you’re a sweetheart and I love ya and all, but you have to understand I can’t write a poem for eneryone I like. I’ve been at work nearly 4 hours now and have written only 7 lines of the poem for **wyldelf** , while trying to do my real work too. It’s not easy, you know. **kristoph** - you have no idea how much I wish I was naked in that vat of beer right now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/19 "2001-01-21T02:50:47Z")
Ok, the poem’s written. Do you want me to post it here, **wyldelf** , or would you like it sent via email? BTW, I just caught the irony of Zoggie’s post here, as the sig line she refers to is me calling her a little trollop. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978/20 "2001-01-21T04:28:55Z")
**Crunchy** As I’m new enough to have never been mentioned in a crush thread, i can only say this… It seems like rather than being the only one naked in a room filled with people, you are in a room of virutally naked women, but your locked into a straight jacked and can’t do anything about it but whimper 😉 -Doug [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/for-wyldelf/50978.md?page=2)