# Foreign-language phrases you hope you never have to utter **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 12, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606 "2002-06-12T06:37:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/41 "2002-06-14T03:45:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eva Luna \* > \*\* > > For your pronunciation pleasure: > > “Ne strelYAItyeh! Ya znAyu sekrEty!” \*\* Yep, that was it. Somewhere I have a set of buttons with this written in English & Cyrillic. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/42 "2002-06-14T09:22:48Z")
While my command of Swedish language might be bit so-and-so, I’ll always remember the phrases “Oooh, Börje, vill du tvätta mig?” and “När går nästa bus till Slussen?” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/43 "2002-06-14T15:11:22Z")
\ _Hej! Vi diris al mi, ke cxi tiu vulkano, sur kiu ne tendumas, estas neaktiva!_ [sub]Hey! You told me that this volcano we’re camping on was extinct![/sub] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/44 "2002-06-14T17:24:58Z")
In almost any language - “Can you please direct me to the diarrhea remedy?” StG ---
**Author:** ![UWmite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UWmite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UWmite)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/45 "2002-06-14T20:10:50Z")
My high school German teacher was an absolute nutcase. She explained that should any of us go to Europe, we might experience some…uhh…gastrointestinal distress due to food or nerves or whatever, and she didn’t want us to be embarrassed about going to a doctor and asking for help. This makes sense. What doesn’t make so much sense was having the whole class of bored 15 year olds stand up at 7:30 in the morning and shout “Ich habe Durchfall!” over and over again so we’d get used to saying it. Oh, and then there’s the other handy German phrase she taught us, and pardon the spelling and lack of umlauts, “Du bist hasslich und deine Mutter bekleidet dich Kommish” or “You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.” ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/46 "2002-06-14T23:39:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*" ¡¡JEY!! ¿¡Quién es el jodido que me puso estas píldoras en mi vaso?! " > > (_Hey!! Who’s the sonofabitch who put these pills in my glass?!_) > > [sub](I’m going to Spain, and yes, it’s completely stupid, but my dad has managed to make me totally paranoid, something he is not normally able to do.)[/sub] \*\* A good friend (seriously - not a friend of a friend - not _a friend_) was on a train to Madrid and had a young spanish guy strike up a conversation with him. My friend (Jeff) was happy to be using his spanish, and they talked for a while. The young spanish guy went out, and came back with some fruit drinks for the two of them. Jeff woke up with a splitting headache, and with the conductor shaking him, telling him that they were in Madrid, and he had to get off the train. All his bags were gone, as was his wallet and money bag/passport holder which had been around his neck. ---
**Author:** ![lenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lenin)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/47 "2002-06-15T01:23:32Z")
“J’ai mal placé mes pantalons. Puis-je emprunter les vôtre?” And there’s always that hilarious Visa ad in which the man who is knocked unconcious at the airport and loses all his luggage tells the gendarmes: “Je suis un espion.” (Which for some reason is located next to “J’ai besoin d’un docteur” in the French\<-\>English phrase book.) ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/48 "2002-06-15T01:51:36Z")
> [@](#): > > **Clever Hans:** What’s that aboot, Aay? This was a poor effort really. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606/49 "2002-06-15T01:53:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarlGrenze \* > \*\*Ok, I got it… > > …your mom sucks it good but you sir sucked my cat’s ass… > > Of course, if you say it with that accent…the other person if knowledgable of Spanish will answer with something worse, unless he has a laughing fit… \*\* well my spelling in spanish is non existant, but I picked up the phrase working with a ton of imigrants, never failed to shock the hell out of them, then they either laughed their ass off or tore into me with some really foul stuff. another one I had fun with was Aya se puede sentar en mi carra i decir ke mi ama! I think any way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/foreign-language-phrases-you-hope-you-never-have-to-utter/113606.md?page=2)