# Forget 1000. Welcome to the party of EVIL **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885 "2000-07-17T20:39:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/1 "2000-07-17T20:39:05Z")
So here we are. Some people think 420 posts is a good excuse to throw a party. Some people think 1000. You know what? FUCK THEM. I have reached the most significant number possible. 666 posts. Yes, that is right, my mission is now accomplished. I can retire from the board happy. To celbrate I’m throwing a party. All the debauchery you could posssibley think of. And even some you can’t and really don’t want to. We’ve got drugs, we’ve got sex, we’ve got underage goat strippers. So everyone come on in. let your hair down, or even shave it all off, and enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/2 "2000-07-17T20:42:19Z")
oldscratch Member Registered: Mar 2000 Posts: 665 07-17-2000 03:39 Not quite, bucko. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/3 "2000-07-17T20:43:56Z")
Hey I needed to give everyone time to get prepared and get ready. If I showed up on time there wouldn’t be anyone to set up or get the Capyberras in the leather thongs. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/4 "2000-07-17T20:45:32Z")
oldscratch Member Registered: Mar 2000 Posts: 667 [Bob Eucker] Juuuuuust a bit outside! [/Bob Eucker] ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/5 "2000-07-17T20:47:17Z")
Dude, this party is WAAAAAY better than that lame one of Demo’s down the street! He keeps kicking us out and saying there’s no party! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/6 "2000-07-17T20:47:54Z")
:busts out a pentagram: OK, now I am going to have ‘Shout at the Devil’ stuck in my head all day long. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/7 "2000-07-17T20:47:57Z")
Hey. You, yeah you, the cynical bastard in the back. Stop whining and start getting in the Jello. There’s a match between you and your choice of a moderater in 5 minutes. And hey If 666 is evil 667 is just evil plus one. So shut up. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/8 "2000-07-17T21:11:03Z")
Well, that’s quite a coincidence. I seem to have a spare, unused piñata for just such an occasion. Oh, sure, it’s not an _evil_ piñata, but we can draw spooky stuff on it, right? . . . . Hm. This isn’t working. I don’t think piñatas can ever be turned to the dark side. Oh, well. Let’s beat the crap out of it anyway! Here ya go, **oldscratch**. One stylish black blindfold, one spiky black stick that may or may not summon demons, and a bottle of my finest fermented virgin blood (choice for this occasion). Have at it, man. The spooky piñata is over there, right next to **Mr. Cynical**. Swing away! He probably has insurance. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/9 "2000-07-17T21:25:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by voguevixen \* > \*\*Dude, this party is WAAAAAY better than that lame one of Demo’s down the street! He keeps kicking us out and saying there’s no party! :rolleyes: \*\* :: Falling out of remains of evil pinata with glowing, red eyes, horns and a tail :: _What_ did you say about my party??? Buwahahahahaha!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/10 "2000-07-17T21:29:29Z")
Aahh!! Cut it out, man. You’re givin’ me the willies! Oh, never mind. It’s just a harmless case of the heebee jeebees. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/11 "2000-07-17T22:42:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > \*\* > Hm. This isn’t working. I don’t think piñatas can ever be turned to the dark side. > > \*\* You know that’s funny. I guess you’ve never seen the Jesse Helms or Brittany Spears pinatas. If any pinata had a chance of being evil it’s those. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/12 "2000-07-17T22:55:13Z")
oldscratch, I’ve brought you a housewarming gift. It’s a chia pet in the shape of Nirriti, Hindu goddess of corruption, destruction, disease, decay, evil, misery. It will go well with your green couch. (Green couch? Good lord!) Let the debauchery begin. I’ll unloosen my tie and open my top shirt button. I brought the fat-free olestra chips too. If that isn’t evil enough, let me know, I’ve got other tricks up my sleeve. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/13 "2000-07-17T23:00:30Z")
Hey we don’t need Olestra to experience anal leakage. But, thansk for the thought anyway Arnold. And that chia pet is really really… nice. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/14 "2000-07-17T23:05:33Z")
> [@](#): > > (Green couch? Good lord!) And what, may I ask, is the matter with a green couch??? Arnie, ya better think of something good. I _love_ my green couches!!! ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/15 "2000-07-18T00:50:32Z")
Inspired by some of the posts here, and the fact I can’t get “The Thong Song” out of my head (no doubt it wasnt helped when I read of Old dressing Capybarras in leather thongs :))… Ooo that OldScratch’s so scandalous And I know another poster couldn’t handle it See him shakin’ that thang like who’s the ish With a look in his eyes so devilish Uh, he like to dance at all the hip hop spots Then he cruise through the crews like connect da dots Not just urban, he likes the pop cause He was livin’ la vida loca Capybarra had dumps like a truck, truck Poster’s like what?! what?!, what?! Capybarra move your butt, butt, butt Let me sing it again… All night long, let me see that thong… ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/16 "2000-07-18T00:57:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Democritus \* > And what, may I ask, is the matter with a green couch??? Arnie, ya better think of something good. I _love_ my green couches!!! All I can say is, I weep for the future and our children. Anyone with the smallest sense of interior decoration knows that the only colours for a couch are white or pink. Do you at least have ruffles at the bottom or a doily on the back? ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/17 "2000-07-18T00:58:15Z")
congrats, oldscratch, ol buddy, glad to see ya! Now hold on, this won’t hurt\* a bit. \ “in Nomine Patri, et Fili, et spiritu Sancti…”. Hey, quit that wiggeling! What IS that burning smell?!? 😃 \*me ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/18 "2000-07-18T00:59:31Z")
Damn. I’ve been planning an exorcism party for my 666th post for ages and now someone’s beaten me to it. DAMNATION!!! I’d tell you to go to hell but… Oh and before I forget my manners: here’s my present. A lovely Shiva the Destroyer action figure. Accesories and batteries not included of course (which just goes to show toy manafacturers are way more evil than mere demons). ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/19 "2000-07-18T01:15:16Z")
I just cracked up. I have this image of 30 capyberras, wearing leather thongs, doing a conga line up and down market street. Goddamn, thanks doobie. As for you daniel, thanks for the holy water, it does kinda itch, but nothing some Chamomyl lotion won’t cure. It feels sorta like having poison oak. Now settle down, go grab yourself a shaved llama, and get busy. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/20 "2000-07-18T02:06:35Z")
**oldscratch** said: > [@](#): > > we’ve got underage goat strippers. Stripping underage goats…and passing off the parts as new, no doubt. Man, you’re just plain _evil._ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885.md?page=2)