# Forget 1000. Welcome to the party of EVIL **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885 "2000-07-17T20:39:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/21 "2000-07-18T02:14:47Z")
Well thanks MysterEcks. But, of course you’re no stranger to evil. I see you over there caressing that poor innocent minister’s thigh. Corrupting a person of god, tsk tsk tsk. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/22 "2000-07-18T02:19:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Democritus \* > > And what, may I ask, is the matter with a green couch??? Arnie, ya better think of something good. I _love_ my green couches!!! > > All I can say is, I weep for the future and our children. Anyone with the smallest sense of interior decoration knows that the only colours for a couch are white or pink. Do you at least have ruffles at the bottom or a doily on the back? \*\* Excuse me? Pink has no place in my house whatsoever. And by the way, I have a black leather couch, no doilies or or chintzy grandma-style decoration here. Tymp, toss me a beer and some of that virgin’s blood. I’m a bit peckish this evening. ---
**Author:** ![Oncle\_Biere\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Oncle\_Biere\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oncle_Biere_1)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/23 "2000-07-18T02:24:49Z")
Well, 666 is probably a round number in the Mayan math system or something, so **Here’s to EVIL!** And if he only brings goats, it’s OK. I’ve got beer for all! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/24 "2000-07-18T02:28:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > All I can say is, I weep for the future and our children. Anyone with the smallest sense of interior decoration knows that the only colours for a couch are white or pink. Do you at least have ruffles at the bottom or a doily on the back? This really _is_ the thread of evil, isn’t it??? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/25 "2000-07-18T02:30:25Z")
_sings_ But not a real green couch: that’s cruel… ---
**Author:** ![SeaDiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SeaDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDiver)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/26 "2000-07-18T02:38:05Z")
::peeking in and recognizing a few faces:: Whoa, what’s going on in here? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SeaDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDiver)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/27 "2000-07-18T02:39:14Z")
sorry about that failed attempt at “peeking”- anyways, can I enter the evil party or what? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/28 "2000-07-18T02:43:20Z")
SeaDiver, after your “performance” at the SD get together. You can not only join the evil-party, you are herby designated as official hostess. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SeaDiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SeaDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDiver)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/29 "2000-07-18T02:59:59Z")
Wow, thank you Oldscratch! What can I do to help the festivities? btw, Tymp, if you wanted a “dark” pinata, you should have seen the ones made popular by the Chupacabras rage a few years back. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/30 "2000-07-18T03:07:20Z")
We haven’t had a decent orgy in a long time! Congrats, oldscratch, and just for your party I bought you some oiled ferrets and a Kathie Lee Gifford inflatable doll. Forget the beakers of blood, though. Any decent beer around? Veb ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/31 "2000-07-18T03:26:16Z")
I stopped by the Clint Reilly party supply store and got a few branding irons, some at-home tattoo kits and a complete set of “How To Pierce Your Own Parts.” I also have a bottle of Irish whisky and a bad attitude (no one has even mentioned me in any of the photo threads… _sigh_ Claudia Rains, that’s me!) Here’s to ya, and here’s to more of the same! ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/32 "2000-07-18T05:33:07Z")
[music] Don’t need reason, don’t need rhyme Ain’t nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too… [/music] Guess the song and win…um…it’s too easy to offer a prize (unless, of course, one of the women guesses it, then I may be able to think of something ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/33 "2000-07-18T05:42:07Z")
\ Great, huh? Just picked it up at the Miskatonic Student Union. You’ll never guess what’s inside… \ ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/34 "2000-07-18T05:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > \*\*\ > Great, huh? Just picked it up at the Miskatonic Student Union. You’ll never guess what’s inside… > \ \*\* ::checks to make sure .45s are loaded and slowly backs away from the pinata:: ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/35 "2000-07-18T06:01:13Z")
\ Remember this helpful gesture when you start firing, OK? \ This is gonna be _great!_ ---
**Author:** ![Niggle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Niggle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Niggle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/36 "2000-07-18T06:06:56Z")
::Wanders in wearing nothing but a large grin and a pair of white tube socks:: Where’re the sheep? -niggle ---
**Author:** ![Kiva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d78d45/32.png) [@Kiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiva)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/37 "2000-07-18T07:08:23Z")
Huh. So…this is The Party of Evil? Looks a lot less exciting than I had imagined it… Where are the sacrifices? Where’s the necrophilia? Where are the apples with razors stuck in 'em? Where are the coffin orgies? Where’s the Britney Spears music? Hell, you people don’t know the first thing about evil, _do_ you? With all the barnyard animals, this looks more like an illicit public school party. Watch out! Here comes a don! Hide the sheep and the cheap sherry! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/38 "2000-07-18T07:16:56Z")
Ahem. Note the color of the goat: black Note the number of charmingly fanged little goatlings: 1000 Repeat after me: _Ia, Shub-Niggurath_ Now, stay out of the Temple Dancers way and out of our line of fire. We’re hoping the Big Guy shows up soon. No sacrifices allowed until he gets here–he doesn’t like to share. We don’t have anything as wholesome as apples here, and as for the necrophilia and coffin orgies, they’re conveniently colocated in the crypt–the archway behind the couch. We couldn’t book Britney Spears. She’s busy being mistaken for a rat and getting conked on the head over in the “declaration of war” thread. We’re making do with New Kids On the Block–see over there, on the spit? ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/39 "2000-07-18T09:00:26Z")
**oldscratch** > [@](#): > > Well thanks MysterEcks. But, of course you’re no stranger to evil. I see you over there caressing that poor innocent minister’s thigh. Corrupting a person of god, tsk tsk tsk. She’s no minister–she just likes to wear those collars for some reason. She’s really a nun. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2000, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885/40 "2000-07-18T18:32:46Z")
Well. Glad to see everyone having a good time here. But, kiva was right, something’s missing. The party just isn’t evil enough. hmmmm what could it be? Ah, I know the master of cerimonies. Well here he is, now the party can really get started, everyone please welcome… **REGIS PHILBIN** bwahahahha. and if that wasn’t enough, his cohost, **CHUCK WOOLERY** bwahahahah. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-1000-welcome-to-the-party-of-evil/25885.md?page=3)