# Forget About BIG - Other "Alternate" Endings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 3, 2018, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487 "2018-05-03T01:17:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/21 "2018-05-03T20:09:27Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > The directors cut of Little Shop of Horrors. Audrey 2 eats them then the plants take over the earth with a long scene of them rampaging through the cities. It’s great! In the stage version, Seymour feeds Audrey to the plant. I don’t recall what happened to Seymour after that (the play may not have shown that). So, you’re not that far off :D. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/22 "2018-05-03T20:28:12Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > At the end of George Bernard Shaw’s original play _Pygmalion_, upon which the musical _My Fair Lady_ is based, Eliza _doesn’t_ go off with Higgins, but with Freddy (who is her own age, so romance was certainly possible). He even wrote a very lengthy afterword in the published edition of the play to tell what happened with Eliza and Freddy and their Flower Shop after the events of the play were over. > > Shaw also wrote a screen treatment for _Pygmalion_, in which, as in the stage play, Eliza goes off with Freddy. Unfortunately, when Anthony Asquith filmed it, he ignored many of Shaw’s suggestions and indications, but the biggest change was that he ended it with Eliza coming back to Higgins. When they made the play into a musical, Alan Jay Lerner kept the Asquith ending (although in his published edition of the play, he gave Asquith no credit for the altered ending.) > > I kinda like the idea of Eliza going off with Colonel Pickering, age difference or not. _That_ would make for an interesting Afterword. Note that there’s a song in the musical that talks about her marrying Freddie and how absurd it it. But as for Freddy, he’s far to callow for Eliza. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/23 "2018-05-03T20:36:59Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > In the stage version, Seymour feeds Audrey to the plant. I don’t recall what happened to Seymour after that (the play may not have shown that). > > So, you’re not that far off :D. [He wasn’t making it up and accidentally getting close](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RjFvcw6ToQ). ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/24 "2018-05-03T20:45:10Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > In the stage version, Seymour feeds Audrey to the plant. I don’t recall what happened to Seymour after that (the play may not have shown that). > > So, you’re not that far off :D. No, they really did film that for the movie version. Seymour feeds Audrey to the plant, then it grows little Audrey 2’s and takes over the world. In the stage play, vines fall all around the audience and they’re warned “not to feed the plants”. The ending didn’t sit well with test audiences so they changed it, but they recently showed the original ending in theatres in all its remastered glory. ETA: Sorry, didn’t see Darren’s comment before I posted. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/25 "2018-05-03T20:49:52Z")
I like the version of Titanic where they put a giant spotlight on the bow of the ship that shown for miles ahead, making it easy to see ice (or other ships). This innovation was adopted by all steamships, at a great savings in lives over the decades.They still never put enough life boats on board, though, until the Queen Mary. Fortunately, the Titanic never sank, and is on display in Belfast. Made for a dreadful movie though. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2018, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/26 "2018-05-03T22:16:58Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > In the stage version, Seymour feeds Audrey to the plant. I don’t recall what happened to Seymour after that (the play may not have shown that). > > So, you’re not that far off :D. I was involved with an amateur community theatre production of Little Shop last fall. Here you go: [spoiler]Seymour feeds a _dead_ Audrey to the plant–she dies in his arms in the shop, but before she does, she asks to be fed to the plant, so she will always be “somewhere that’s green.” An entrepreneur arrives to buy cuttings, because every household in America will want an Audrey II. Seymour realizes that this kind of distribution is part of the plant’s plan for world domination, and resolves to kill the plant. When neither a gun nor rat poison work, he grabs a machete and crawls into the plant, so he can kill it from the inside. As the final song tells us, he was unsuccessful, and the cuttings taken from Audrey II grew into plants that ate a number of places, including the theatre presenting the show. (Cue plant tendrils suddenly reaching out towards the audience.)[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/27 "2018-05-04T01:04:50Z")
_What’s Eating Gilbert Grape_: why, it’s Mom’s corpse! Her spirit realized that she’d likely still be alive if only she had stayed downstairs rather than slept upstairs as the kids had been encouraging her to do. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/28 "2018-05-04T01:40:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The isolationist ending of _Casablanca_: > > \*"Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I’ve done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you aren’t getting on that plane with Victor because that’s not where you belong. I’ve been planning on going back to America and I want you to come with me, where we’ll both be safe and out of this war. > > We both know Victor has his work, the thing that keeps him going. What we have is each other. If that plane leaves the ground and you’re on it, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. We’ll always have Paris. And now we’ll have New York. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, so I’m going to leave that to Victor. It doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world so we won’t be missed if we avoid the war and just focus on our own happiness."\* That would screw up the whole game. Ilsa would have to have the pilots of the fake plane feign some kind of mechanical failure and then contrive to run Rick out of Casablanca so Signor Ferrari could take possession of the Cafe American and the entertainment services of Sam, which is what the movie is really all about. The fact that Rick is a sap for being noble is what males the long con work. And not an alternate ending per se, but _Mean Girls_ should end after Regina George gets run over by a bus. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/29 "2018-05-04T02:59:10Z")
In the ending I remember, the rebels truly were no match for that technological masterpiece - and those were, in fact, the droids they were looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/30 "2018-05-04T04:19:06Z")
Joker, Rafter-Man and Animal Mother win that fucking war by themselves, and “Peter-san” doesn’t get whacked. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/31 "2018-05-04T13:35:18Z")
If you stay after the credits of the last Matrix movie, Keanu sits upright from out of frame, reaches back and removes the plug from the back of his head, turns to a bank of monitors displaying live feeds of the rest of the film’s cast, and says “That was awesome, what do you want to play next?” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/32 "2018-05-04T13:52:04Z")
_James Bond is on the gold-covered table where Goldfinger is about to slice him in twain from the crotch up with the laser._ JB: “I know about Operation Grand Slam!” Goldfinger: “No doubt that’s just something you heard about in passing.” JB: “Can you afford to take that chance?” Goldfinger, after a few seconds thought: “Yes, I can.” JB: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/33 "2018-05-04T15:12:13Z")
Willy Wonka, Charlie and Grandpa Joe, after launching into the sky in the glass elevator, realize they have no steering, propulsion or brakes and come crashing down to their screaming deaths a few minutes later. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/34 "2018-05-04T16:55:36Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > Willy Wonka, Charlie and Grandpa Joe, after launching into the sky in the glass elevator, realize they have no steering, propulsion or brakes and come crashing down to their screaming deaths a few minutes later. No, the elevator flies fine, but when they return to the factory, Wonka shows Charlie his new flavor of “German Chocolate”. It’s got “extra German” flavor. And dessert is a giant blueberry pie. Charlie doesn’t get it, but Grandpa Joe gets an odd look on his face. Later he quietly tries to find Veruca and Mike, but no trace of them exists. The last shot of the film is Joe going into Wonka’s office, and Wonka has a weird grin… cut to credits. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/35 "2018-05-04T17:30:41Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > _James Bond is on the gold-covered table where Goldfinger is about to slice him in twain from the crotch up with the laser._ > > JB: “I know about Operation Grand Slam!” > > Goldfinger: “No doubt that’s just something you heard about in passing.” > > JB: “Can you afford to take that chance?” > > Goldfinger, after a few seconds thought: “Yes, I can.” > > JB: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!” Hmm, thinking about the movie, considering that Ms. Galore and her air crew would have likely switched out those poison gas canisters for inert ones even without a roll in the hay with Bond…what would have been different in the end besides the US Army troops that were storming Fort Knox needing to take out OddJob as well? ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/36 "2018-05-04T17:39:27Z")
Reminds me of \*Nicholas Nickelby \* where they watch a version of Romeo and Juliet where they’re both still alive at the end. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/37 "2018-05-04T18:34:48Z")
I think the current ending of _Jane Eyre_ is better than the original. We owe Thursday Next a debt of gratitude. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/38 "2018-05-04T19:01:58Z")
_Minority Report_ - Tom Cruise’s wife tries to let herself into the jail using his old eyeballs…and is immediately arrested because their IT department of course deleted that user’s credentials the second he was imprisoned. _Die Hard 2_ - Bruce Willis tries to light the leaking jet fuel with his Zippo, nothing happens, and the bad guys fly away. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2018, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/39 "2018-05-04T22:12:39Z")
> [@SirRay](#): > > Hmm, thinking about the movie, considering that Ms. Galore and her air crew would have likely switched out those poison gas canisters for inert ones even without a roll in the hay with Bond…what would have been different in the end besides the US Army troops that were storming Fort Knox needing to take out OddJob as well? Never think about the hero being necessary for the outcome. [That only leads to disappointment.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDKNGV2K4vQ) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487/40 "2018-05-07T01:11:16Z")
_12 Angry Men_: (Former) Juror 8, walking home from the courthouse with a quietly pleased look on his face, spies a nicely dressed but otherwise nondescript man walking down the sidewalk, half a block down in the opposite direction…who, never breaking stride or making eye contact, casually drops a half-full bag of popcorn in a trash can before passing by. Juror 8 just as casually plucks the bag out of the can as he continues on his way, but waits until he turns the next corner before brushing enough popcorn off the top to confirm that there are a couple of bundles of bills hidden in the middle of the bag. He grins, jauntily tosses a kernel into his mouth, and continues on his way with a whistle. All in a day’s work! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-about-big-other-alternate-endings/813487.md?page=3)