# Forget Crushes, let's talk about objects of lust....
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 17, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878 "2000-07-17T19:42:47Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 8
### Author:  [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/141 "2000-07-19T20:56:15Z")
I was feeling left out, so I thought I’d put in a tacky one-liner to boost my post count, too.
“Do me, do me baby, oh do me like I’ve NEVER been done before…”
There. Yay. And about as effective as anything else I’ve read here…
---
### Author:  [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/142 "2000-07-19T21:02:16Z")
ChrisP,
I have great faith in you…if fact, I think you’ve got quite a talent for it. You’ve proven yourself so far. And you deserve a big reward for it too. Don’t you think? It’s hard work being clever all the time…
Shit. Speaking of time…Cinderella’s gotta split the ball. See you tomorrow am. BTW, nice chocolate…
iampunha,
It gets even BIGGER? Hmmmmm. Have to remember that.
take care,
struuter
---
### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/143 "2000-07-19T21:05:39Z")
Hama, so you don’t feel left out, you are fine and I’d do you in a heartbeat, circumstances being different.
---
### Author:  [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/144 "2000-07-19T21:06:16Z")
Hey Hamadryad, welcome to MPSIMS! It’s mundane, it’s pointless flirting and not just to boost a post count. What exactly does a high post count get you anyway, a cookie?
Just trying to spread a little love that’s all.
---
### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/145 "2000-07-19T22:55:34Z")
I still think we glossed over the fact that I was talking about chocolate and peanut butter, and ChrisP is more closely associated with burnt porcupine meat and licorice.
---
### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/146 "2000-07-20T11:18:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ruffian \*
> \*\*The sig line comes from the “Happy Birthday Shayna” thread Cecil started. In it, I said something to the effect of, “Hey, I participated in the psychic orgasm survey, too! And my birthday was just the other week? But no, no Happy Birthday to me. Fine. No no, don’t mind me…”
>
> And the rest is my sig line history. 🙂 \*\*
Minor correction here: The thread that Cecil started was a birthday greeting to **Jezebel**. Unfortunately for Shayna, Cecil didn’t start HER birthday thread, it was started by the most disliked poster on this board–a notorious troll or sockpuppet, depending on who you listen to.
---
### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/147 "2000-07-20T11:29:48Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Chef Troy \*
> \*\*Struuter, I adore chocolate. Especially the high-octane stuff from Hawaii. Sweet, silky, with rich mouth-feel and a lingering taste-memory afterwards…plus the chance to lick your fingertips… _sigh and faraway look_ Having it in our lives is well worth the subjugation of those Aztec provincials who were trying to keep it for themselves. \*\*
Chef, I was going to offer to go get some of the chocolate for you, since I do live in Hawaii… Umm…_looks at chocolate orgy in progress_ Seeing as you folks aren’t in any condition to go yourselves, and all…
---
### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/148 "2000-07-20T11:45:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by KimKatt \*
> \*\*Any man quoting Shakespeare has the potential to make me swoon 🙂 \*\*
Thank you for your kind words!
(sigh) If only you weren’t already married. ☹
“Stars, hide your fires;
Let not light see my black and deep desires”
–Macbeth, Act 1, Scene IV
---
### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/149 "2000-07-20T11:49:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by struuter \*
> \*\*Applicable Shakespeare quotes are always good…along with Poe and old movies and Monty Python. \*\*
Well, I’m starting to run low on Shakepearean love/lust/desire quotes. (I was really scraping the “bottom of the barrel” when I posted the Shakespearean felching quote in the following thread):
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30095](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30095)
So…let’s try something from Monty Python:
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> “Now, my good wife. Whilst I rest, read to me a while from Shakespeare’s ‘Gay Boys in Bondage’”
>
> “Yes…my lord…‘Gay Boys in Bondage’…Ken, 25 is a mounted policemen with a difference…and what a difference.
> Even Roger is surprised and he’s…he’s used to real men…”
>
> “'Tis like ‘Hamlet’…what a genius!”
>
> “‘But who’s going to do the cooking tonight? Roddy’s got a mouthful…’”
\*\*
Hmm. I think I’d better stick to Shakespeare. 😉
---
### Author:  [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/150 "2000-07-20T12:34:14Z")
Yeah, DRY, you’d best leave Monty Python to the pro’s.
---
### Author:  [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/151 "2000-07-20T13:11:59Z")
DRY,
Hey, you can’t beat MP on the Bard. Well, I guess you could, but you get big points for digging that up anyway–it being so relative and all.
My favorite quote from a poem–really sad to say I don’t even know which one it’s from or even if I have it right–
no one, not even the rain
has such small hands
e.e. cummings
Not lust-inspiring, but what the hell…
ChrisP-- how YOU doin’?
---
### Author:  [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/152 "2000-07-20T13:23:55Z")
Better, since YOU came in baby. Let me impress you now with my literary knowledge.
There once was a man from Alas
Who’s balls were made of fine brass
In stormy weather, they’d clang together
And a spark would shoot out of his ass.
Oh, yeah. ChrisP scores big with that one. Now isn’t that more impressive than some dead guy?
🙂
---
### Author:  [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/153 "2000-07-20T13:37:49Z")
_muffled laughter_
Oh yes, much better. And don’t forget who’ll be here for you when the Bard gets through with you. Nothing like a limerick about metal testicles to get a girl all juiced up. 😉
How often do you get Shakespeare and brass balls in one thread? Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming…
struuter
---
### Author:  [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/154 "2000-07-20T14:13:11Z")
I knew that would score me big points…
Okay now to be serious.
A little line for you baby…
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
How’s that baby?
---
### Author:  [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/155 "2000-07-20T14:25:32Z")
Oooh, very nice. And since you are so busy 😉 quoting sweet nothings all over this board…
I’ve got one for you.
From the desert I come to thee,
One a stallion shod with fire;
And the winds are left behind
In the speed of my desire.
-B. Taylor
How’s that? I told you I wasn’t very good at this quoting thing…
struuter
---
### Author:  [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/156 "2000-07-20T14:35:30Z")
Hey that was beautiful struuter. We can’t all start out as good as DRY, we’re rookies, remember…
---
### Author:  [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/157 "2000-07-20T14:44:26Z")
Yeah, you’re right. He’s got it going on the sexy quote scale. But don’t sell yourself short…
True wit is nature to advantage, dress’d,
What oft was thought, but ne’er so well expressed.
–Pope
Now, if I could just think of something like that MYSELF…I’d have 'em dropping like flies.
---
### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/158 "2000-07-20T14:45:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ChrisP One Kenobe \*
> \*\*Hey that was beautiful struuter. We can’t all start out as good as DRY, we’re rookies, remember… \*\*
Hey, I never said that I was frickin’ genius! I started out with dirty limericks, myself!
(Though I admit I preferred the “Man from Nantucket” one to the “Man from Alas” one. That, and I changed it to “Priest from Nantucket” to make it even more offensive.
Come to think of it, NO WONDER I got my face slapped so often!) :eek:
---
### Author:  [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/159 "2000-07-20T14:51:14Z")
Oh come on DRY, the man from Alas is way better than Nantucket. Well, I guess if you were going for overly offensive, it would be better, but I was going for a grin and a groan.
---
### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878/160 "2000-07-20T15:02:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ChrisP One Kenobe \*
> \*\*Oh come on DRY, the man from Alas is way better than Nantucket. Well, I guess if you were going for overly offensive, it would be better, but I was going for a grin and a groan. \*\*
There was a thread awhile back–I don’t remember what it was called, that quickly degenerated into several people commenting on how they could…um…fellate themselves.
For what it’s worth, there seemed to be several people who were quite…proud of their ability to do this, and others who were turned on reading about it. So the concept seemed to turn on more people than it offended (or maybe the offended ones didn’t comment).
The thread was called “what do you do if you catch someone pleasuring themselves?” or something like that. If you’re curious.
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878.md?page=7)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-crushes-lets-talk-about-objects-of-lust/25878.md?page=9)