# Forget windshield wipers, let's redesign horns **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2018, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128 "2018-09-28T18:34:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/1 "2018-09-28T18:34:49Z")
You would think with all the electronics in a car already you could have a horn that would give a nice gentle “meep-meep” for courteous alerts. And maybe another ‘regular’ highway setting before going all the way to “Fuck you, your mother and the horse you rode in on”. Dennis ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/2 "2018-09-28T18:47:13Z")
Yes! Something less than blaring when you just want the guy in front of you to put down his phone and make his damn left turn already. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/3 "2018-09-28T18:57:49Z")
I’d also like a rear facing horn, as well as one that makes a different sound that we could understand to mean “sorry, I didn’t mean to honk at you just then, I bumped the horn”. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/4 "2018-09-28T20:21:50Z")
Fourthed! I currently rely on duration to convey meaning: a short beep is “the light changed,” while a longer blare is “fuck you.” Sometimes the nuance is difficult to navigate. Different horns would help. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/5 "2018-09-28T20:26:46Z")
The Volt has two horns. A nice one to warn pedestrians you’re coming at them, and a regular one. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/6 "2018-09-28T20:28:41Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > You would think with all the electronics in a car already you could have a horn that would give a nice gentle “meep-meep” for courteous alerts. And maybe another ‘regular’ highway setting before going all the way to “Fuck you, your mother and the horse you rode in on”. > > Dennis did you say “meep-meep?” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/5kteDa1MAhQ/hqdefault.jpg "1971 Plymouth Roadrunner Horn (original)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kteDa1MAhQ) ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/7 "2018-09-28T21:14:48Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > The Volt has two horns. A nice one to warn pedestrians you’re coming at them, and a regular one. The 1st gen Volt did. The newer mode just [whines](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-l3VH3EZb0) all the time. The 2019 model is similar, but the [noise changes with speed](https://www.autoblog.com/2018/09/24/chevy-volt-pedestrian-warning-sound/). ---
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/8 "2018-09-28T23:20:15Z")
I submit. The polite horn [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/lv8wqnk_TsA/maxresdefault.jpg "NICEST Car Horn Ever- DIY") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv8wqnk_TsA) ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/9 "2018-09-28T23:25:19Z")
I would like a horn that goes “screeeeeeeeeech” – like hard braking Usually when you honk at an asshole, s/he just gives the finger. I would think the screeeech sound would hammer home better that the asshole just seriously endangered his/her own personal life. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/10 "2018-09-29T01:32:50Z")
No redesign necessary; they work [quite well](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9nuiWtZOMs). ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/11 "2018-09-29T01:56:47Z")
And while we’re at it, is there any reason we can’t bring back the Ah-OOO-Gah!? mmm ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/12 "2018-09-29T04:27:05Z")
Many years ago, I purchased a used chevy that had been modified by a previous owner. Among many other annoying customization, in addition to the factory horn, an aftermarket horn set with it’s own dedicated button was installed. I don’t know where he got them but they looked like they were salvaged from the roof of a semi - and there were four of them mounted under the hood. The only time I ever blasted them, I was immediately pulled over, The deputy instructed me in no uncertain terms that I could either get a ticket for excessive noise or I could disconnect the wires for them _right now_. I’m glad I had wire cutters in the car with me. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/13 "2018-09-29T04:33:33Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > And while we’re at it, is there any reason we can’t bring back the Ah-OOO-Gah!? > mmm Ah-ooo-gah is my favorite after market horn. Harbor Freight has them for $9. You can buy better ones for $30 to $40 other places. I wouldn’t risk getting loud dual air horns. Too much road rage out there. One tap of an air horn might get a dangerous response. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/14 "2018-09-29T13:47:36Z")
Cars should be equipped with a 6 button horn array on the steering wheel. You choose the sound package to be installed at the dealership when you buy a car. I’d choose the **animal** sound package with the following buttons: ``` • Yappy Little Dog: For slow poke drivers you get behind in the fast lane. • Pig Squeal: For road hogs and parking spot thieves. • [Porpoise Laugh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN0H0g4pZaY): For friendly prods or give right of way. • Duck Quacks: To alert other drivers to potential danger (like ducks crossing the road). • Parrot Voice (*“you’re an idiot … squawk … you’re an idiot ..."*): For bonehead drivers. • High Decibel Elephant Trumpet: To jar the moron stopped in front of you to put down his cell phone and proceed when the light turns green. ``` What sound package would you choose? ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/15 "2018-09-29T20:46:23Z")
[quote=“BobBitchin, post:8, topic:822128”] I submit. The polite horn [/QUOTE] Exactly what I was gong to post. Mark Rober is a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/16 "2018-09-29T21:19:17Z")
> [@CelticKnot](#): > > Exactly what I was gong to post. Mark Rober is a lot of fun. I want to put one in my car. The idea of the horn being anything I can record or any sound file I can find is interesting.😃 ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/17 "2018-09-29T21:46:17Z")
Best horn: A long straight one, mounted in some kind of shockproof housing so your car didn’t get damaged every time you used it. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/18 "2018-09-29T22:13:43Z")
Maybe we can invent something to make the horn quieter when people lock their cars and it makes the horn honk sound. ---
**Author:** ![skdo23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@skdo23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skdo23)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/19 "2018-09-29T22:41:29Z")
And they should all play _La Cucaracha._ ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128/20 "2018-09-29T23:33:22Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Maybe we can invent something to make the horn quieter when people lock their cars and it makes the horn honk sound. Yes! It’s silly that those are so loud. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forget-windshield-wipers-lets-redesign-horns/822128.md?page=2)