# Forgetting a female

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 14, 2010, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404 "2010-05-14T07:56:09Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404/61 "2010-05-17T00:59:26Z")

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> [@melodyharmonius](#):
>
> \<snip\>  
> Actually, it was my bf’s offhanded use of the word “muggles” in his OKC profile that first got my attention. Hence why I told him I wanted to “check him out like a Harry Potter novel.” Course - he pointed out that books can only be checked out for 3 weeks and he was looking for something a bit more, y’know, long term. 🆒
> 
> Anyway, I made the horcrux comment so you wouldn’t feel so ‘nerdy’ and alone. 😃

My husband and I basically met because my tagline on my online ad was “Female: Mostly Harmless.” 😃

> [@eleanorigby](#):
>
> \<snip\>and the woman who leaves her kid for a 17 year old is NOT someone you want to spend time with longterm. Longterm meaning more than a year of your life. You’re lucky you got THAT out of the way so early.)

Agreed, and agreed. It sounds terribly complicated to date someone who has kids, but I’m pretty sure that the way to settle such an issue isn’t the parent bailing on the kids.

Your twenties are for learning who you are as an adult, and experimenting and trying stuff; it’s good to be single and date various people and try different careers and such.

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**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404/62 "2010-05-17T19:30:33Z")

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> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Thanks, **Dio.**
> 
> I’ve used magic to impress girls, so definitely.
> 
> My favorite is basically the simplest on the planet. Cut the deck and show her the bottom card of one of the halves while sneaking a peek at the bottom of the other. Pop up a few trick shuffles and then tell her that you’ll be able to recognize when you’ve reached her card by looking into her eyes. Breeze through the deck until you’ve reached the card you peeked at. Hers will be the next one.
> 
> It basically gives me the excuse to stare into her eyes in a social situation. I know it sounds cheesy as I describe it, but the shit works.

Ahh Melon…you’ve got to take this shit to the next level.

Don’t stop flipping cards once you get to her card. Go ahead and flip it up and a few more. She now thinks that you’ve muffed up the trick. Then say, “I’ll bet you \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (whatever flirty bet you want to insert here), that the next card I turn over is yours.”

She’ll think she’s got you beat since her card is laying face up on the table. Then reach down and take her card and turn it over face down.

Oh and time heals all wounds.

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**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404/63 "2010-05-17T20:31:33Z")

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Get back out in circulation. It just was not meant to be. There is a saying about this, “Don’t look back at the closed door so long that you don’t notice the door that is open in front of you”. Or something like that. Good Luck!

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**Author:** ![Macnbaish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Macnbaish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macnbaish)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404/64 "2010-05-17T21:32:29Z")

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> [@ajb867](#):
>
> My “girl” just came over after a night of binge drinking last night. In fact her friend I never spoke to was texting me on her phone saying she is afraid for her. Her friend had taken her phone because she texted me a whole sentence with only one actual word in it, which was “duck”… So she comes over, tells me she just stopped by because she wanted me to know she is alive, is a total douche to me, and starts crying for no reason. It gets better though, in her nostril is fucking coke. Yup, she’s so far gone she comes over with cocaine still smeared in her nostril.  
> Besides back away slowly, what the fuck should I do?

If you don’t want to be a part of that, then just tell her so. I know relationship advice is all easier said than done, because once emotions are involved logic flies out the window.

Sit her down and say “I’ve noticed this, this, and this. I’m not comfortable with those things. If you want that to be part of your life, I can’t be. Please take some time to decide what you want out of your life…” You get the picture. Just express your feelings on the subject, and take it from there. The last thing you want to do is just ignore red flags.

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**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/forgetting-a-female/539404/65 "2010-05-18T00:19:54Z")

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> [@eleanorigby](#):
>
> **Dio** –who knew you were such a romantic? 😛
> 
> In essentials, **Dio** is right, even if he does think of the fairer sex in such terms.

Not women, relationships. I was making an analogy about how even mediocre relationships can have some basic utility and comfort that you miss when they’re gone, but not to mistake the specific car for the utility and comfort.

That doesn’t sound very romantic either, I guess, but I’m just trying to say a lot of people will miss having a boyfriend/girlfriend even if the last one they had was a POS.

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