# formal introduction **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 9, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441 "2003-01-09T03:17:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mister\_me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@mister\_me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_me)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/1 "2003-01-09T03:17:40Z")
What is the correct etiquette used for a formal male to female introduction? Should the male extend his hand to shake hands with the female? Should he kiss the females hand? ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/2 "2003-01-09T03:28:54Z")
re: the hand kissing, you never actually “kiss” a lady’s hand. Rather, you bend forward and press your face to her hand (i.e., no actual pucker-lips-and-smooch on her skin). ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/3 "2003-01-09T03:36:35Z")
In a related vein, according to Miss Manners you should always introduce the younger person to the older. Hand kissing, as has been pointed out, is a misnomer. You just bump your nose on the back of the hand. In the office setting ass-kissing is properly done with extra puckering and plenty of lip noise. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/4 "2003-01-09T06:17:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SandyHook \* > \*\*In the office setting ass-kissing is properly done with extra puckering and plenty of lip noise. \*\* Hahaha! I love it! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/5 "2003-01-09T12:03:07Z")
The traditional etiquette is that handshaking is initiated by the lady. A gentleman never offers his hand to a lady, but waits for her to offer hers first. I’m pretty sure this has fallen out of usage – especially in a business setting. I’ve been meaning to write Miss Manners about it. As for social hand_kissing_, it isn’t an American custom and probably shouldn’t be attempted by an american guy. Unless he wants to look like a doofus. Jess ---
**Author:** ![UDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecae2f/32.png) [@UDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UDS)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/6 "2003-01-09T12:10:57Z")
The lower-status person is introduced to the higher-status person. _Usually_ this means that the man is introduced to the woman, but not always. Ms Jane Citizen of Sickdale, Il is introduced to the (male) President of the United States, not the other way around. The lower-status person extends waits for the higher-status person to extend his or her hand. If the higher status person is a woman and she extends her hand in the conventional pinky-finger down position at waist height, shake her hand. If she hold it a little higher up and, and palm downwards, she expects it to be kissed. It’s a pretty token kiss. American women, of however high a status, do not generally expect to have their hands kissed in this context. ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/formal-introduction/147441/7 "2003-01-09T15:25:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jess \* > \*\*The traditional etiquette is that handshaking is initiated by the lady. A gentleman never offers his hand to a lady, but waits for her to offer hers first. I’m pretty sure this has fallen out of usage – especially in a business setting. I’ve been meaning to write Miss Manners about it. > \*\* Miss Manners has previously noted that none of the conventional ladies v. gentlemen etiquette rules apply in a business context. This includes door holding, chair pulling out, elevator preference, handshaking, introductions and myriad other instances. While social etiquette still observes the difference between women and men, in business etiquette differentiation is role best left to rank and status rather than gender.