# Fortune Cookie Stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998 "2005-03-04T23:49:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/1 "2005-03-04T23:49:40Z")
So, Kestrel bought me lunch at a chinese buffet today (we trade off, I’m no mooch ;)) and we had an incident with fortune cookies. I open mine and read aloud: “If you continually give, you will continually have.” So I says to Kestrel, I says: “You know, that’s a great fortune for that ‘in bed’ game.” For those not in the know, the “in bed” game is a game where you read a seemingly innocuous fortune cookie fortune and add “in bed” or “during sex” or “in the back seat of a Chevy” or whatever your regional variation on it is to make the fortune dirty. We had a laugh about that. Then Kes went to open hers. I had the split-second thought, “wouldn’t it be funny if Kes’ was even better-suited for the ‘in bed’ game than mine was?” . . And Kes reads aloud: “Relax and enjoy yourself.” I swear upon a stack of purple corsets, it actually happened today at lunchtime. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/2 "2005-03-04T23:50:51Z")
_spits_ I hit the enter key accidentally. I meant to edit out the name “Kestrel” with “my friend,” since “Kestrel” means nothing to y’all but it did to the board where I originally posted this. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/3 "2005-03-05T00:10:07Z")
This reminds me of a thread I started last summer: > [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > I have some fortunes I’ve collected recently (I work across the street from a Chinese restaurant and have lunch there occasionally), and it always seems to me that there is supposed to be another sentence at the end of the fortune that is just not printed. To illustrate, please see the following (Printed fortune in bold, my own addition in plain): > > **Success and happiness will come your way.** And then it will pass right on by. > > See? Here’s another: > > **You are compassionate and fun-loving**. Wanna screw? It’s fun! Now for yours, I would do: **If you continually give, you will continually have.** Give me $20. **Relax and enjoy yourself.** This will only hurt for a minute. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/4 "2005-03-05T00:39:11Z")
I proposed to my wife on the piece of paper I put inside a fortune cookie. Naturally, that was the one day she decided to deviate from her usual behavior (Eat Cookie!), so it became a parlor game how to persuade her to eat the cookie she didn’t want. :o She said Yes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/5 "2005-03-05T00:54:21Z")
I just got one that read “Soon, and in the company of a young gentleman.” ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/6 "2005-03-05T00:58:07Z")
I’m on my second marriage. My wife and I went out to dinner with my parents. When the cookie came, I opened mine and said, “You will find happiness with your third spouse” It took everyone a moment to realize I was kidding. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/7 "2005-03-05T01:07:14Z")
When I was just learning to read, I once had a crack at the fortune from my cookie. Haltingly, I sounded out the words: “Gentile ways are best”. Hilliarity ensued. Eventually, between snortles, my father corrected me: “Good try. But it’s gentle ways are best. Gentle.” It helped that we’re Jewish (and still talk about it many decades later). ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/8 "2005-03-05T01:28:10Z")
There’s a scene in the Jack web-comic where a group is at a restaurant and are playing the ‘in bed’ game with their fortunes. Little do they know that all the fortunes are custom written for the customers. One person opens his up and reads… “You will not be able to say ‘in bed’ at the end of this sentence.” ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/9 "2005-03-05T03:57:46Z")
On July 30th of 1993 I had lunch at a Chinese restaurant and my fortune said, “You are domestically inclined and will be happily married.” I got married the next day. And divorced a year later. Damn cookie didn’t say _ **when** _. But I **did** subsequently have a housecleaning business. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/10 "2005-03-05T04:12:52Z")
While my wife and I were still dating, we went to a small Chinese place near her apartment. She opened her fortune cookie first which read “Stop looking, Happiness is right in front of you.” I made some half-joking comment about how that just proved what I’d been telling all along. Then I opened mine, and it said “Stop looking, Happiness is right in front of you.” :eek: She accused me of switching it, but there were obviously two identical fortunes. They are now pasted in our scrapbook and just turned 20 years old. I swear to Og, this is true. ---
**Author:** ![Imbrium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Imbrium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imbrium)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/11 "2005-03-05T06:35:21Z")
I always play the “in bed” game. My best one so far said “Your first and best love, is self love” I just about died laughing! Another great one I got was “You have the ability to adapt to diverse situations” ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookie-stories/292998/12 "2005-03-05T13:25:45Z")
**Rhubarb** , that is so cute! I remembered another fortune cookie story of mine, too… A group of us were working late at the school newspaper’s office, and decided to order Chinese take-out for everyone. When it came, there weren’t enough fortune cookies to go around. Another person and I said we’d share one. We’d split the cookie and share the fortune. What did the cookie say, people? “You are of a dual personality.”