# Fortune Cookies
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 31, 2000, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534 "2000-08-31T19:45:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/1 "2000-08-31T19:45:39Z")
What is with these bland, foul piles of roach shit? Does anyone actually eat these things? Theres a reason they are given away in Chinese restaruants, but not sold _anywhere_. It because they suck ass! I can’t imagine any other product like that, we’ll give ti to you for free, and trick you into thinking its a treat for dessert, but no one seems to care that they aren’t good enough to actually pay money for. Its a damn Commie plot I tell you!
Listen to this fortune I got (might as well since the only reason I open the wrapper is get that damn thing out): “You are the master of every situation”
Does anyone else think that sounds a bit fishy? I think they are trying to lull me into a sense of false security before they invade and start stealing Nike products and kindeys. Be very carefful people, very careful. The narrow eyed people are not your friends.
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### Author:  [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/2 "2000-08-31T20:07:12Z")
i think it’s very fishy. I got one that said “You are a very generous person”.
First thing i thought was, just how big a tip do they want damn it?!!!
They give us all these compliments in “cookie” form, and i think it’s just a big scam to get us to give them more money.
what i’d like to know is, has anyone ever NOT opened a fortune cookie, and just left it there, without knowing their supposed fortune?
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### Author:  [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/3 "2000-08-31T20:26:31Z")
[whisper] I kind of like them - not too sweet, not too much, just right [/end whisper]
Now, as to the fortunes. Please, why not put famous quotes in them instead. At least it’d be something worth reading.
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### Author:  [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/4 "2000-08-31T20:30:59Z")
THere was this skit i saw on TV (it might have been on “the state” or “Upright citizen’s brigade”)
Anyway you know that game where you end the fortunecookie by saying “in bed” like ‘you are a kind and givign person… in bed’
Well this guy reads his to the tabel and it says ‘You are lacking certain qualities’… he gets pissed and opens another and it says something like ‘you have troyuble pleasing your partner’ and all kinds of other things…
it was pretty funny.
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### Author:  [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/5 "2000-08-31T21:51:56Z")
Don’t be too hard on the fortune cookies. There is probably a long rich cultural history behind the thing, and we just don’t know anything about it.
As for me, I do have enough resolve to leave the thing wrapped in the tip tray and never read it. I also don’t read my horoscope either (not even to “just see what it says”).
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### Author:  [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/6 "2000-08-31T21:59:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by xizor \*
> \*\*As for me, I do have enough resolve to leave the thing wrapped in the tip tray and never read it. I also don’t read my horoscope either (not even to “just see what it says”). \*\*
I’m not a horoscope-reader, either. I boycott them on purpose.
About the cookies themselves, I’m with **BunnyGirl**. They’re not bad. In my family we have a tradition that you have to eat your cookie (the _whole_ cookie) before reading your fortune. I think the fortunes are a fun tradition, but I don’t take them seriously. Except when they talk about what a great person I am . . . 🙂
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [August 31, 2000, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/7 "2000-08-31T22:05:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Don’t be too hard on the fortune cookies. There is probably a long rich cultural history behind the thing, and we just don’t know anything about it.
I’m pretty sure fortune cookies were invented in San Francisco about 100 years ago. I heard that when they started showing up in China a couple of decades ago, they were billed as “Genuine American Fortune Cookies”.
> [@](#):
>
> Theres a reason they are given away in Chinese restaruants, but not sold _anywhere._
Actually, they _are_ widely sold. Have you checked your local supermarket? That’s where I find them.
> [@](#):
>
> What is with these bland, foul piles of roach shit? Does anyone actually eat these things?
I like them. They’re quite tasty.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/8 "2000-09-01T02:10:31Z")
The last one I got said “Actions speak louder than words.”
The hell kind of fortune is that?
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/9 "2000-09-01T02:20:31Z")
I like dipping them in my tea…yum!
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/10 "2000-09-01T02:32:51Z")
One of the fortunes in that skit is “You’re a limp-dicked pansy” In Bed! That is an absolutely hilarious skit.
Zette
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### Author:  [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/11 "2000-09-01T02:37:05Z")
I actually like them, they’re fun, I have a collection of the little fortunes, no clue as to why I kept them but I have quite a few of them in my wallet. They do sell them too, they’re great, my school was going to do a fundraiser with them, well alright, we had the idea but never took it to anyone, but it would’ve worked!
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### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/12 "2000-09-01T02:43:32Z")
I love fortune cookies! Quite tasty. Also, one time I got a fortune that said, quite literally, “You are the chosen one.” HA! Hey, FriendofGod, get over here, I got a job for you.
Course, I also got TWO that said “You are the guiding star of HIS universe.” What the hell? I mean, they took a 50/50 shot TWICE, and missed BOTH TIMES!! Geez!
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/13 "2000-09-01T02:46:30Z")
I love fortune cookies! Okay, so the fortunes are dippy. The cookies themselves are great, though!
One time recently when my husband & I ordered some Chinese take-out, we got a small bag of fortune cookies. We cracked them open, and our fortunes were the same. We opened two more, and they were the same again. They were also the same as the previous two. I thought it was funny, anyway.
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### Author:  [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/14 "2000-09-01T02:51:28Z")
ok, there’s a fortune sitting next to my computer:
**"You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment."**
Riiiiiight. Now if this applied to that “in bed” game, I’d have some fun.
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### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/15 "2000-09-01T02:56:35Z")
Chocolate fortune cookies are pretty good, too.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/16 "2000-09-01T06:15:29Z")
I add “at Starbucks” instead of “in bed”. There was a thread here a while back about Starbucks, and it gave me the idea.
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### Author:  [@fnord1966](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fnord1966)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/17 "2000-09-01T06:16:16Z")
Personally, I love em.
I have seen the XXX rated fortune cookies around, never have got them, would be quite a nice trick to play on someone.
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### Author:  [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)
#### Post date: [September 1, 2000, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/18 "2000-09-01T10:25:00Z")
On my Baking II final in culinary school, one of the things I had to make were chocolate dipped fortune cookies, fortunes included. I was actually not very happy with this, since when you are making fortune cookies by hand, you have to shape them into that crescent when they come right out of the oven. Yes. I love handling 225° pieces of dough. So, to get over my anger, I put in evil (well, not that evil) fortunes. My favorite (esp. since my instructor was also a swing dancer): “The one time you fall on your ass on the dance floor, someone will have a camera.”
Childish, I know. But still funny.
BTW, they are far tastier when someone makes them–I don’t care much for the packaged ones.
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/19 "2000-09-02T00:07:51Z")
In Penn & Teller’s _How To Play With Your Food_, there are some fake fortune-cookie fortunes you’re supposed to slip into your tablemates’ cookies when you aren’t looking. They say things like, “The chef spit in your food” and “That lump is cancer.”
One point the authors make, though, got me to wonderin’: There are plenty of people out there who believe in astrology, phrenology (reading the bumps on your head), palmistry, tea leaf reading, iridology (reading the imperfections in your iris), and a whole slew of other quasi-predictive pseudo-sciences. Why doesn’t anyone believe in fortune cookieology?!
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [September 2, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fortune-cookies/31534/20 "2000-09-02T00:13:00Z")
We just returned from our favorite Chinese restaurant.
Mrs. Plant’s cookie was empty, mine had two fortunes.
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