# Found a long-lost friend...well, found her obit. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 22, 2011, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129 "2011-09-22T00:05:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/1 "2011-09-22T00:05:52Z")
Ugh. I’ve been searching on-line since 2003 or so for a friend – this girl I knew at summer camp circa 1989. After 2 weeks of summer camp, we parted ways, but I ended up visiting her for a weekend about 6 months later. I stayed with her family, and they were all awesome, and we had a great time. But we never kept in touch – I’m not sure why. The adult me would’ve told the 13-year-old me to be pen pals with her, at least. Every few months, I plugged her name into google, but she shares a name with a semi-celeb and those were the only hits I got. Tried facebook, myspace, linkdin, but to no avail. Today I finally got a hit…and it was her obituary. _sigh_ Same age as me, and we both share the same chronic disease, although nothing in the obit mentioned her cause of death. I so wish I had found her sooner. I wonder if she ever thought of me. She was my best bud at camp – it was my first time at an overnight camp, and this one girl in our cabin took a hatin’ to me and spread rumors (which are so silly now, looking back on it, but were deadly serious at the time) about me stealing shampoo from another girl’s shower basket. My friend stood up for me, even before we were friends, and eventually all the other girls came around to my side. I have a couple of photos of her, and I feel so grateful for that. But I feel like my heart just broke. Not only was I searching for her just to say hi and reconnect, I also wanted to pick her brain about an odd experience that happened to us at the camp - a sort of counselor abuse (not sexual) that we kind of covered up. I wanted to hear her side of things to determine what was real in my memory, and what was just memory playing tricks. The camp was in her home state, and I remember there actually being some kind of police questioning about the incident, but since I lived out of state I was somehow not involved in that. I’ll probably never know exactly what ended up happening. I found her brother on linkedin and sent him a condolence note. Maybe he’ll be able to answer some of my questions. But for now, I’m just so very sad. ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/2 "2011-09-22T00:53:14Z")
That’s so sad! I’m sorry your friend is gone. I’m positive she thought of you just as often and as fondly as you did of her. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/3 "2011-09-22T02:23:16Z")
I’m so sorry. That’s …awful. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/4 "2011-09-22T02:51:36Z")
So sorry, and hope the brother responds. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/5 "2011-09-22T04:05:55Z")
Sorry to hear that. Happened to me to with two different people I hadn’t heard from in several years. One had died at 37, and another at 40. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/6 "2011-09-22T11:56:54Z")
My sympathies… I had a similar experience when I discovered one of my high school crushes died of leukemia in 2004. Miss you, Doug. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/7 "2011-09-23T00:40:40Z")
I’m so sorry . . . especially since a similar thing happened to me. When I lived in NYC, I had worked with a guy in four different places, and we were close friends. When I relocated we lost touch. Every couple of years I searched online, and came up with nothing. Then I found him, and it turned out he had died a year earlier. It’s so sad when we lose track of people we care about, then find them when it’s too late. ---
**Author:** ![No\_umlaut\_for\_U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@No\_umlaut\_for\_U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_umlaut_for_U)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-a-long-lost-friend-well-found-her-obit/597129/8 "2011-09-23T01:34:10Z")
I’m also sorry. Eerily, I had almost the same experience this morning reading the alumni magazine. The death notice of a very sweet ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with because I didn’t want kids, was right there. Left two behind.☹