# Found my brother-in-law's diary in my wife's underwear drawer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179 "2010-05-12T15:40:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/41 "2010-05-12T17:56:19Z")
Read the diary. It contains the answers you seek. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/42 "2010-05-12T17:56:42Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Don’t give them a chance to put their heads together. Big heads. They’ve already been, you know. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/43 "2010-05-12T17:57:41Z")
Call wife on cell phone while she is out of town. Do this a few times. Then have sister call husband on his cell phone. Examine the times and locations of the calls when they come in on the bills. ---
**Author:** ![sj15010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@sj15010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sj15010)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/44 "2010-05-12T18:16:20Z")
I’ve read the diary. It runs from March '09 to March '10. No mention of my wife in any way. Mostly “inner thoughts,” about the nature of life and work and such, sketches, book quotes and Steve Covey-like self-improvement lists. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/45 "2010-05-12T18:16:32Z")
You should not only read the diary but you should keep possession of it. Hide it in a secure location not in your home. If your wife or BIL get their hands on it again after they find out you are aware of it’s existance, the diary is going to dissappear for good. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/46 "2010-05-12T18:22:44Z")
> [@sj15010](#): > > I’ve read the diary. It runs from March '09 to March '10. No mention of my wife in any way. Mostly “inner thoughts,” about the nature of life and work and such, sketches, book quotes and Steve Covey-like self-improvement lists. Now it’s time for \*\*Wilbo523’\*\*s plan: 1. Read the diary 2. Call the BIL and ask him if he is missing his diary. If he says “yes”, then tell him that you found it in your house, and ask him if he knows how it possibly could have ended up there. 3. Tell your wife that while you were putting away the laundry you noticed BIL’s diary in her drawer. Ask her how it ended up there. If her story doesn’t match up with BIL’s story, ask her why BIL say’s differently. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/47 "2010-05-12T18:37:06Z")
So that’s … Weird. I was going to weigh in seconding the possibility that he gave it to her, hoping she would read his soulful pinings and realize she too had feelings for him, but now that you have read it, I don’t know what to say. How could it have ended up in her underwear drawer? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/48 "2010-05-12T18:39:24Z")
Maybe it fell out of his bag while they were boinking in a hotel room or backseat of a car and she found it after he left. Needs to give it back but tried to hide it in a safe place until she could do so. Didn’t worry too much about it being found since the contents are innocuous. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/49 "2010-05-12T18:40:46Z")
So…you BIL is sharing his inner thoughts about the nature of life and work and such with your wife. I just about suggested starting an affair with his wife but…no. Don’t do that. Time to get a red sports car. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/50 "2010-05-12T18:42:04Z")
> [@sj15010](#): > > I’ve read the diary. It runs from March '09 to March '10. No mention of my wife in any way. Mostly “inner thoughts,” about the nature of life and work and such, sketches, book quotes and Steve Covey-like self-improvement lists. That actually puts my mind a little more at ease. Is it possible that she has kept it in her drawer since March? Has she seen him since then? It could be that she’s just waiting to see him to return it to him. Doesn’t explain how she got it in the first place, though. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/51 "2010-05-12T18:47:09Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I just about suggested starting an affair with his wife but…no. Don’t do that. What… he shouldn’t boink his sister? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/52 "2010-05-12T18:47:26Z")
> [@sj15010](#): > > I’ve read the diary. It runs from March '09 to March '10. No mention of my wife in any way. Mostly “inner thoughts,” about the nature of life and work and such, sketches, book quotes and Steve Covey-like self-improvement lists. Am I a bad person for being disappointed that the journal didn’t contain something more amoral and salacious? Don’t answer that. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/53 "2010-05-12T18:48:45Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I just about suggested starting an affair with his wife but…no. Don’t do that. Time to get a red sports car. Oh, but they say the best revenge is porking your own sister…😛 ETA: Wow, I must type really slow. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/54 "2010-05-12T18:49:05Z")
It’s a trap! ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/55 "2010-05-12T18:50:23Z")
It just seems like a weird thing for your BIL to be carrying around with him. Especially if he hasn’t written in it since March. So it seems likely that he gave it to her for some reason, and she hid it from you for some reason. Did it seem like pages could have been missing? Maybe post-March? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/56 "2010-05-12T18:58:48Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > It just seems like a weird thing for your BIL to be carrying around with him. There could be some legitimate reasons. It has sketches in it. Maybe he likes to carry it around in case he sees something interesting he might want to sketch. (I’ve done that.) Maybe he carries it around because he might have a deep thought while not at home and wants to write it down before he forgets it. (Jack Handy probably did that.) Maybe he wants to have his self improvement lists handy. ---
**Author:** ![grayhairedmomma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/47e85d/32.png) [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/57 "2010-05-12T19:24:55Z")
They’re having an affair. They’ve had deep conversations, he’s talked to her about his journal/diary and she asked to read it so he let her. Now she doesn’t think he’s as deep and sensitive as she once did and doesn’t want to admit to him that she’s read it yet to avoid hurting his feelings. Or maybe she wants to have it to feel close to him. Either way, if they’re not fucking then they’re having an emotional affair but I think it’s both. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/58 "2010-05-12T19:28:12Z")
So you said currently your wife is out of town? Did we know where the BIL currently is? ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/59 "2010-05-12T19:29:14Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Before you expose I think you need to do some hardcore snooping. If they are having an affair they will lie, lie, lie about it. You’ll never get a straight answer from them. > > Look at phone records, credit card statements, bank statements, etc. Is her computer at home? Look through email records, including the sent and deleted folders. How well can you account for her time? Where is your wife now? Is the BIL also out of town? > > Read the diary. A lot of the answers you need will probably be in there. > > There’s a 99% chance she’s been having an affair for some time. You need to find out as much truth about this before you let on. If you go to her now and ask, she’ll give you some flimsy excuse and take the affair farther underground. **sj15010** , Please read the above again, as I believe it’s the best post in the thread so far. Put the diary back where you found it and say nothing to your wife about it. _Do Not_ confront anybody until you’ve got piles of evidence that can’t be explained away with lies. If you think your sister can avoid confrontation as well, you may want to enlist her as a co-conspirator to gather the goods on your BIL. But if you accuse them or even question them, you can bet they’ll cover their tracks but good. Oh, and get a lawyer yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/60 "2010-05-12T19:33:45Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > This. I feel like I’m watching a soap opera. I’ve got to know more. This again. Can we have it read aloud in Morgan Freeman’s voice? Everything is exponentially awesomer when read in his voice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179.md?page=4)