# Found my brother-in-law's diary in my wife's underwear drawer **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179 "2010-05-12T15:40:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/61 "2010-05-12T19:37:46Z")
I’m generally a give-benefit-of-the-doubt kind of person, but even with the contents of the diary being innocent, I’m having a hard time figuring out how they mixed in with your wife’s panties. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/62 "2010-05-12T19:38:46Z")
Just take the diary and hide it really well, don’t say anything at all, and wait to see what happens. It is easy psychological torture. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/63 "2010-05-12T19:39:51Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Just take the diary and hide it really well, don’t say anything at all, and wait to see what happens. It is easy psychological torture. You’re so evil. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/64 "2010-05-12T19:53:40Z")
Ditto. My first instinct was to hide the diary and wait for the sparks. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/65 "2010-05-12T19:54:21Z")
My wife, not knowing that I had read her diary back when our troubles first cropped up, has since edited her diary by removing pages wherein she pledged to herself that she would improve how she treated me. What you have may not be what she was originally given. And as someone who was just in a similar situation as you (and am in fact in it now), I suggest a lawyer. No joke. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/66 "2010-05-12T22:39:56Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Just take the diary and hide it really well, don’t say anything at all, and wait to see what happens. It is easy psychological torture. Yes, this is a good idea. Or how about this: write in the diary yourself. “05/12/10 - Found my brother-in-law’s diary in my wife’s underwear drawer today. For the life of me I can’t figure out what it’s doing there. Weird.” Then replace it and don’t say a thing. Unless she brings it up. From there you’re on your own. I am having a hard time imagining myself in this situation, but I think what I would do is this: nothing. I’m serious. Just sit on it for a while. It’s information you have that she doesn’t know you’re privy to. Just watch and wait. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/67 "2010-05-12T22:56:42Z")
Not to hijack… several years ago I had girlfriend. I was house sitting for her while she was away and stumbled upon a notebook. I was curious and just randomly flipped it open to discover that it was a journal. Reading the one page of it that I did was a HUGE mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/68 "2010-05-13T00:03:01Z")
So, nothing incriminating in the diary. This just gets weirder and weirder. I still can’t think of any good reason for your wife to have brother-in-law’s diary in her underwear drawer, though. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/69 "2010-05-13T00:14:51Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > 1. Read the diary > 2. Call the BIL and ask him if he is missing his diary. If he says “yes”, then tell him that you found it in your house, and ask him if he knows how it possibly could have ended up there. > 3. Tell your wife that while you were putting away the laundry you noticed BIL’s diary in her drawer. Ask her how it ended up there. If her story doesn’t match up with BIL’s story, ask her why BIL say’s differently. > 4. Call your sister and tell her the details from #1-#3 above. > > Depending upon the results from 1-4, you may need to seek a divorce attorney to get the best advice on how to proceed. > > Best of luck, and welcome to SDMB!! You should provide this kind of advice for a living. That was good! ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/70 "2010-05-13T00:32:00Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > You’re so evil. > > I like it. Perfect! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/71 "2010-05-13T01:22:28Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > Not to hijack… several years ago I had girlfriend. I was house sitting for her while she was away and stumbled upon a notebook. I was curious and just randomly flipped it open to discover that it was a journal. Reading the one page of it that I did was a HUGE mistake. Details please. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/72 "2010-05-13T01:33:06Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > What I expect from the sound of it, is that the wife and sister are having a torrid lesbian affair, and they’re trying to pin it on the BIL so the OP and he will kill each other and the evil lesbians can live off their insurance policies. Thats some good outa the box thinking right there. ---
**Author:** ![gladtobeblazed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@gladtobeblazed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gladtobeblazed)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/73 "2010-05-13T01:37:27Z")
Obviously the diary is written using some clever ciphertext. I’d send it to the nearest University math department for cryptanalysis. ---
**Author:** ![Creole\_Tomato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@Creole\_Tomato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creole_Tomato)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/74 "2010-05-13T01:46:45Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > I’m generally a give-benefit-of-the-doubt kind of person, but even with the contents of the diary being innocent, I’m having a hard time figuring out how they mixed in with your wife’s panties. I’d say _especially_ with the contents being innocent. It would have made more sense had it been full of lurid wrongdoing. But innocent is like a great big WTF. And what kind of man keeps a diary of his life ponderings? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/75 "2010-05-13T02:03:12Z")
> [@Creole\_Tomato](#): > > But innocent is like a great big WTF. And what kind of man keeps a diary of his life ponderings? I was wondering about that too. The whimsical musings and anecdotes in the diary could be absolutely fabulous to read (if you know what I mean). Maybe they are working on the script and choreography for a musical in collaboration and she just wants to protect him so that they may have a future in showbiz together. I think it is time for a Geraldo Rivera style opening of the vault for the whole world to see but on the web. I can set up a web conference for it if anyone is interested. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/76 "2010-05-13T03:38:20Z")
> [@sj15010](#): > > I’ve read the diary. It runs from March '09 to March '10. No mention of my wife in any way. Mostly “inner thoughts,” about the nature of life and work and such, sketches, book quotes and Steve Covey-like self-improvement lists. Is the diary full to the last page, like he filled it and might have a newer volume at home, and he’s not missed this one since your wife took it? Weird. And if you really want to open a big can of devious worms, here’s what I would do: [ul] [li]Take a well-lit picture of the book with your cell, in an ambiguous setting[/li][li]Change caller ID setting on your cell so calls are anonymous[/li][li]Text the picture to your sister, BIL, and wife[/li][li]Sit back and watch the show[/li][/ul] I can be crazy like that, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/77 "2010-05-13T03:53:46Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Is the diary full to the last page, like he filled it and might have a newer volume at home, and he’s not missed this one since your wife took it? Weird. > > And if you really want to open a big can of devious worms, here’s what I would do: > > [ul] > [li]Take a well-lit picture of the book with your cell, in an ambiguous setting[/li][li]Change caller ID setting on your cell so calls are anonymous[/li][li]Text the picture to your sister, BIL, and wife[/li][li]Sit back and watch the show[/li][/ul] > I can be crazy like that, though. You, Sir or Madam SeaDragonTattoo, are a shit-stirrer of Iagoian proportions. Take a bow just for coming up with this idea. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/78 "2010-05-13T04:38:06Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Am I a bad person for being disappointed that the journal didn’t contain something more amoral and salacious? Don’t answer that. Probably not as bad a person as I am for being disappointed that it doesn’t appear to be a horcrux… ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/79 "2010-05-13T04:41:32Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > [ul] > [li]Take a well-lit picture of the book with your cell, in an ambiguous setting[/li][li]Change caller ID setting on your cell so calls are anonymous[/li][li]Text the picture to your sister, BIL, and wife[/li][li]Sit back and watch the show[/li][/ul] I don’t know if sending it to the wife will accomplish anything. She may not have seen the journal herself, to recognize it. Even if she does, a “neutral setting” wouldn’t tell her anything. Not sure she should get dragged into this anyway. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-my-brother-in-laws-diary-in-my-wifes-underwear-drawer/539179/80 "2010-05-13T06:08:43Z")
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