# Found! The Largest Bird Penis Ever! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179 "2003-04-25T19:43:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/1 "2003-04-25T19:43:40Z")
I am amazed at what you can stumble across on the internet: [http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish\_366856.htm](http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/2 "2003-04-25T20:27:47Z")
I’m trying to come up with a witty, subtle “Sixteen Candles” reference but words are failing me. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/3 "2003-04-25T20:32:44Z")
I can die a happy woman. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/4 "2003-04-25T20:46:33Z")
That doesn’t even look real. It looks like a bad photoshop job. So why do I feel jealous? ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/5 "2003-04-25T20:50:18Z")
Good God. That’s pretty disturbing. Also disturbing is something that a professor told us in an evolutionary biology class. According to him, the male dolphin has a penis whose head can rotate independantly of the shaft. He then told the guys in teh class that if we were ever to hear of a man who could do that it was our duty to the species to kill him. 🙂 Dang mutants… ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/6 "2003-04-25T20:51:54Z")
**Cock** -A- Doodle-Do! ---
**Author:** ![IDemandBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a88e57/32.png) [@IDemandBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IDemandBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/7 "2003-04-25T20:52:25Z")
> [@](#): > > …this species is “promiscuous and boisterous in their sexual activity”, which means that there is likely to be **stiff competition** EHhehheh…they said “stiff competition”. Heh Heh. :smack: –IDB ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/8 "2003-04-25T20:54:56Z")
**Jenaroph** , congratulations. I almost coughed up a lung I laughed so hard. Good lord, that’s funny ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/9 "2003-04-25T20:55:41Z")
Now that’s a wood duck. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/10 "2003-04-25T21:09:25Z")
Remind me not to eat duck the next visit to Argentina… ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/11 "2003-04-25T21:13:04Z")
Wow, that thing looks perfect for “in-flight refueling missions”. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/12 "2003-04-25T21:21:55Z")
they say it’s a duck, but it looked more like a Kite to me… ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/13 "2003-04-25T21:33:17Z")
That’s not a duck, It’s a control line flying model. Please move on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/14 "2003-04-25T21:33:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*I can die a happy woman. \*\* Are you sure? Did you read the bit about the sharp well-developed spines at the base? ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/15 "2003-04-25T21:38:59Z")
Damn, no phone number. Errrrrr, I mean… ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/16 "2003-04-25T21:55:00Z")
I just want to know how they got him to expose it. On second thought, no I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/17 "2003-04-26T04:29:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\ ***Jenaroph** , congratulations. I almost coughed up a lung I laughed so hard. Good lord, that’s funny \*\* Wow, it’s my first uh, lung-ectomy. I’m honored 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/18 "2003-04-26T06:05:52Z")
You know, it’d be funnier if the bird was a red headed woodpecker. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/19 "2003-04-26T06:09:10Z")
Um. _Ew_. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179/20 "2003-04-26T06:10:53Z")
Good lord, how does that bird walk around without getting stepped on :cringe: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/found-the-largest-bird-penis-ever/171179.md?page=2)