# Four year old seeing God and setting traps for him **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2008, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054 "2008-10-01T19:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/21 "2008-10-01T23:01:34Z")
[QUOTE=A shameful cracka…] His big sister (7) told him that you can’t kill God because **he’s already dead** and you **can’t kill a spirit.** [/QUOTE] I just love this part—it even makes logical sense. “What? He’s an intangible, magical spirit, and he lives in the afterlife. How is that _not_ a ghost?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![A\_shameful\_cracka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@A\_shameful\_cracka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_shameful_cracka)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/22 "2008-10-01T23:05:31Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > I just love this part—it even makes logical sense. “What? He’s an intangible, magical spirit, and he lives in the afterlife. How is that _not_ a ghost?” 😃 Yeah, I got a kick out of my very religious daughter saying God is dead. I think it’s kinda neat that my son wanted to kill God, Jesus, and Moses (or Mose). He knows about Moses primarily from “Prince of Egypt”, and I think it’s neat he managed to get Christianity’s two greatest prophets, especially since he had been thinking about rainbows from hearing about Noah in Sunday School. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/23 "2008-10-01T23:19:16Z")
I bet Nietzsche did stuff like that as a child.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/24 "2008-10-01T23:37:18Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > …any approved hunting equipment? Archery, black powder, or standard long arms?, or is a more high-tech approach called for, like Proton Packs and Ghost Traps? Use what you want, as far as I know the only thing that’s ever proven effective has been nails. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/25 "2008-10-02T00:06:06Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Use what you want, as far as I know the only thing that’s ever proven effective has been nails. Sounds like some special hand loading to me. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/26 "2008-10-02T00:53:29Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Use what you want, as far as I know the only thing that’s ever proven effective has been nails. so, nails in a 3" Magnum shotgun shell, got it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/27 "2008-10-02T01:02:57Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > God traps? That’s a new one. God, don’t! It’s a trap! ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/28 "2008-10-02T02:26:07Z")
If he manages to capture God…don’t kill Him! Instead, take him to _The View_ or _The Daily Show_ so God can get on TV and tell Congress to knock off that partisan shit and pass the stupid bailout legislation. Oh, and fix my toilet already! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/29 "2008-10-02T02:28:24Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Use what you want, as far as I know the only thing that’s ever proven effective has been nails. Only for 42 hours. (72 if you’re an Armstrongist.) KGS, you assume He favors the bailout. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/30 "2008-10-02T02:41:31Z")
> [@A\_shameful\_cracka](#): > > My wife thinks it’s because he’s trying to be the alpha male, but he is frustrated because he can’t really challenge me, so he’s going after a father figure that’s in a position of power but doesn’t have a history of punishing him. :dubious: Does your wife happen to be a Freudian psychoanalyst? Sounds like pretty normal behavior to me, although quite elaborate in its presentation! Kids at this age usually tell elaborate stories for attention, so I suspect that his violent stories of revenge against religious figures are eliciting some shocked and dismayed reactions from the adults around him. If you really want him to stop, I suggest listening to his stories with an air of polite interest. “Oh, really? Wow, you don’t say. That’s neat.” Etcetera. Frankly, though, he sounds like a hoot and I wouldn’t worry unless his stories are getting him into trouble at school. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/31 "2008-10-02T02:45:28Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Only for 42 hours. (72 if you’re an Armstrongist.) So you have to camp over the corpse with a nail gun. Dammit! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/32 "2008-10-02T06:58:33Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > So you have to camp over the corpse with a nail gun. Dammit! Nails just work once. After that He has super-powers & you’re screwed. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/33 "2008-10-02T07:20:33Z")
> [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](#): > > Maybe he’s having doubts about the existance of God. I used to ask God to show me a sign that he existed. The usual one was “Turn the ceiling of the church red.” and when that didn’t happen then “turn the roof red but so only I can see it.” as it was unfair to expect him to give everyone else a shock. The final one, sadly, “make next door’s cat come alive again – _pleeeease_.” > > I’m not a believer now and I understand why the failure to perform as asked is not proof either way. I know that doubts can start young, maybe it’s time for some serious theological talk! It doesn’t have to be doubt in the existence of God, though. It could also be confusion over what God does for people. When I was very young, I recall not understanding the meaning behind adults telling me “Ask and you shall receive” and a story about birds bringing food to someone who asked for God to provide for him that was meant to illustrate the principal. Being in first grade, I took those things quite literally, and was _very_ disappointed when the toy I asked for didn’t magically appear when I opened my eyes after asking for it. I don’t remember if I talked to my parents about it or not, but either way I soon grasped that God is not a geni, and asking for things you want isn’t the same thing as asking for your needs to be fulfilled. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/34 "2008-10-02T11:51:46Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Nails just work once. After that He has super-powers & you’re screwed. Yeah, really the nails just give you a three day head start to run like hell. [QUOTE=A shameful cracka…] He said he was going to get some shark eggs to put in the water and the sharks would eat God. I told him that God made sharks too, and that the sharks would probably just thank God for making them, but he said he was going to make the sharks mean. [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t start worrying until he starts talking about putting lasers on the sharks heads. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/35 "2008-10-02T12:11:10Z")
When I was 4 years old I went up to the local Primary School (ie Elementary School) found my brother and sister’s classrooms and convinced their teachers to let my sibs go home because “mother needed them”. I made the whole thing up so I could get using our new computer. My mother wouldn’t let me put it on when the older kids weren’t home. The funny thing is the school let my sibs off no bother, no call to social services or the cops etc. More innocent times (1986). ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/36 "2008-10-02T12:14:51Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > It doesn’t have to be doubt in the existence of God, though. It could also be confusion over what God does for people. > > When I was very young, I recall not understanding the meaning behind adults telling me “Ask and you shall receive” and a story about birds bringing food to someone who asked for God to provide for him that was meant to illustrate the principal. Being in first grade, I took those things quite literally, and was _very_ disappointed when the toy I asked for didn’t magically appear when I opened my eyes after asking for it. I don’t remember if I talked to my parents about it or not, but either way I soon grasped that God is not a geni, and asking for things you want isn’t the same thing as asking for your needs to be fulfilled. Someone here once had one of my favorite sigs ever. I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like: “All my life, I prayed to God to give me a bicycle. Then I realized it doesn’t work like that, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/37 "2008-10-02T13:09:13Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > What’s the bag limit on God(s) anyway?, any approved hunting equipment? Archery, black powder, or standard long arms?, or is a more high-tech approach called for, like Proton Packs and Ghost Traps? > > Are God(s) good eatin’? what’s Godison (like Venison) like, or is God best fillet’ed? do they make God Helper breaded coatings? Bag limit of one. After that your bag magically refills itself when you’ve had a meal. My son was like this too. Fantastical stories with religious themes, anger at god. He worked it out. I’d like to say I helped, but mostly it was just him having to come up with a mental compromise on his own with god and he understood it. Yes, at the tender age of 5 he had to make peace with god. Hmmm. It’s a pretty constant topic in our house. Which is weird, because I have been raising them atheist - but I also let him go to church with other kids and choose for himself where he felt most comfortable. I guess some of his anger at god came from realizing he believed different things than mommy. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054/38 "2008-10-02T13:43:56Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Someone here once had one of my favorite sigs ever. I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like: “All my life, I prayed to God to give me a bicycle. Then I realized it doesn’t work like that, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.” 😃 I think there was a Bulwer-Lytton entry that said something like: My day was going very well right up to the point where I accidently let Jesus into my heart. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/four-year-old-seeing-god-and-setting-traps-for-him/466054.md?page=1)