# Fox News: You've earned your own Pit Thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166 "2005-03-25T05:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/21 "2005-03-25T14:25:21Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Wait…if Edwards is talking to her, doesn’t that mean she’s _dead?_ Wouldn’t it be better for Fox’s position if Edwards said he _couldn’t_ contact her? 😕 (Insert “cold reading” and “not quite dead yet” joke here) Ah well. Fox “news” continues to earn their “”'s. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/22 "2005-03-25T14:31:44Z")
Yeah, what did Edwards _say_? Since I refuse to watch Fox for obvious reasons, all I saw was The Daily Show’s clip, which stopped short of telling us what he said. Did he actually have the psychic balls to tell us one way or the other what Terri wants done now? Or did he hedge it and fuzzy it up for us again? ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/23 "2005-03-25T14:58:44Z")
**DoctorJ** , I hereby nominate you for the: Nobel prize in Medicine and Literature The Oscar for Best Video Editing The Victorian Cross The Congressional Medal of Honor The People Choice Award for Best New Male Performer Maybe with those credentials Fox News will let you comment on the Schiavo case. Oh wait, that’s right, your saying stuff they don’t want to hear. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/24 "2005-03-25T15:08:06Z")
Fox news hasn’t just earned their own Pit Thread. They’ve provided enough fodder to earn their own forum. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/25 "2005-03-25T15:35:30Z")
Personally, I’d love to see John Edward facilitate communication between the Schiavos. Live on the air. JE: She wants you to know that she wants to live. MS: Please ask her this: Where is the key to the liquor cabinet? JE: Er, uh, she loves you very much. MS: Liquor. Cabinet. JE: She doesn’t want to pass yet. MS: Read my lips, assmunch. Key. Liquor. Cabinet. JE: Uh… She didn’t drink. Now, about… MS: Like a fucking fish she didn’t. Tell me where. JE: …her spirit… MS: Look, fuckbomb – the next words out of your mouth better be “Kitchen utility drawer” or “under the porch doormat” or “In my black purse.” JE: Um, her spirit says to look in her blue purse. MS: Blue purse? JE: Yes, the blue one. The key is in there. MS: The one with the plasic daisies? JE: Yes, the blue one with the plastic daisies. MS: She doesn’t have blue purse, you big fucking fake. JE: Uh… Hey, look over there! _runs away_ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/26 "2005-03-25T16:02:57Z")
Nah, **tdn** , he’d never let himself be cornered like that. Try: JE: She wants you to know that she wants to live. MS: Please ask her this: Where is the key to the liquor cabinet? JE: Er, uh, she loves you very much. MS: Liquor. Cabinet. JE: She feels you’re focusing on irrelevant things right now. The important thing is - MS: Read my lips, assmunch. Key. Liquor. Cabinet. JE: Uh… She’s feeling frightened by your anger, she’s starting to fade… MS: Look, fuckbomb – the next words out of your mouth better be “Kitchen utility drawer” or “under the porch doormat” or “In my black purse.” JE: She feels you’re letting your emotions get in the way of helping her. She’s gone. Really, haven’t you noticed he’s simply Deana Troi with a haircut and boob reduction? (And I say this as someone who actually does believe in psychic phenomena. But I also believe in cold readers and emotional ambulance chasers who violate the grieving. The two are not mutually exclusive.) ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/27 "2005-03-25T16:19:32Z")
I caught a bit of Hannity last night too. He had a doctor on ( a good looking woman too - bonus!) and was asking her questions. When asked if dehydration is a painful way to die, the doc said no and that it is a common practive for end-stage care. Hannity didn’t really let her finish this thought when he said that he doubted that dehydration was painless because it seemed counterintuitive. IOW, he doubted it because it went against his preconceived notions. Then they switched to a shot of protesters outside the hospice, including one with a sign that read “Her nose is bleeding”. That’s when I switched to basketball. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/28 "2005-03-25T16:39:39Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Really, haven’t you noticed he’s simply Deana Troi with a haircut and boob reduction? Gee, thanks for a mental image that I truly did not need. John Edward with big boobs. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/29 "2005-03-25T17:11:05Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Gee, thanks for a mental image that I truly did not need. John Edward with big boobs. _shudder_ Well, he already WAS a big boob, after all… ---
**Author:** ![jeevmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@jeevmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevmon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/30 "2005-03-25T18:04:53Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > No, _Jon Edward_ is a douche. Bill O’Reilly is an asswipe. > > I saw the clip of John Edward’s FoxNews appearance on _The Daily Show_. He said that he can communicate with souls, and although Terri can’t talk _physically_, her _soul_ is very communicative. > > _FoxNews: Because we know you’re that stupid._ It’s a telling comment on the state of our national discourse, and the quality of media reportage, that Jon Stewart can just air clips from Fox News and other sources (e.g. Scarborough Country), not say anything, and still be funny. Granted, there are some discrete facial tics that go into conveying the funny, but really, the stuff airing today is so ludicrous that he can just let it stand on its own. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/31 "2005-03-25T18:17:49Z")
His occasional use of children reciting transcripts of “Hannity and Colmes” is pure gold. N.B., folks: The “biggest douche in the universe” is John Edward. No “s”. John Edward_ **s** _ is the former North Carolina Senator, whose opinions on the Schiavo case are not public AFAIK. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/32 "2005-03-25T18:25:43Z")
> [@margin](#): > > I can’t believe people even entertain the notion the Faux News might occasionally burp out a teensy bit of the truth. Come on. > > Back in April, I was in a 22-hour firefight. The Ukrainians had to fall back to our position, and they had several wounded, and at least one KIA. We cam periolously close to running out of ammo, and only the air cover kept the insurgents off us. Oh, yeah—there were about a thousand of them, and 34 of us, plus 40 civilians. > > Faux News’ summing up of the situation: “Ukrainians abandon the city without firing a shot.” > > OH, YEAH, DICKWAD? Where’d these dead Ukrainians come from, fuckstick?!" > > Sorry, but that still pisses me off. /rant :eek: Where was this, **margin**? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/33 "2005-03-25T18:28:25Z")
**tdn** , **WhyNot** -is that from a comedy sketch? I liked Stewart’s “Now, crazy tv psychic guy!” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/34 "2005-03-25T18:32:52Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > N.B., folks: The “biggest douche in the universe” is John Edward. No “s”. John Edward_ **s** _ is the former North Carolina Senator, whose opinions on the Schiavo case are not public AFAIK. And Jonathan Edwards was a Puritan homilist best known for such cheerful pieces as “Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God”… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/35 "2005-03-25T18:37:34Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > **tdn** , **WhyNot** -is that from a comedy sketch? Nope, I improvised it as I was writing it. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/36 "2005-03-25T18:56:43Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Nope, I improvised it as I was writing it. And I simply plagarized 75% of it from \*\*tdn \*\*and changed the rest. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/37 "2005-03-25T19:29:33Z")
Hacks borrow, artists steal. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/38 "2005-03-25T19:32:47Z")
No one mentioned the numerous interviews with Nurse Wretched? [http://mediamatters.org/items/200503230001](http://mediamatters.org/items/200503230001) ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/39 "2005-03-25T20:20:51Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Spinsanity is now closed, but they’ve kept their [archives](http://www.spinsanity.org) online. \ Spinsanity **shut down?** :eek: Gawddammit, the fight against ignorance has lost another trooper. \ ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166/40 "2005-03-25T21:40:21Z")
> [@Larry Borgia](#): > > :eek: > > Where was this, **margin**? I’m not **margin** , but I’m guessing he’s talking about [al Kut](http://edition.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/04/07/iraq.ukraine.troops/). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fox-news-youve-earned-your-own-pit-thread/296166.md?page=3)