# "Fractured" blurbs/proverbs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 8, 2013, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358 "2013-03-08T08:33:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/1 "2013-03-08T08:33:05Z")
Not sure why this suddenly hit me today…ah, but then, isn’t that the whole point of MPSIMS? For _some_ reason, I recalled the tagline for The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear - “If you see just one movie this summer…you really should get out more often!” Which may or may not have been before recalling some Sportscenter anchor saying a long time ago: “If the playoffs began today…a lot of hotel reservations would get screwed up.” That’s when I remembered, some “law of the kitchen” or whatever: “Cleanliness is next to impossible.” And then a couple “end-to-end” quotes. “If all the debutantes in New York got laid end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.” and “If you laid every prostitute in New York end to end, it would cost you [some 7-figure number].” Oh, mustn’t forget the add-ons. “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. That way when you judge him, you’re a mile away and you have his shoes.” “Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill it.” Any others? And just to state the obvious, if there isn’t a website for this sort of thing, there should be! ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/2 "2013-03-08T08:40:45Z")
This ain’t rocket surgery! And here’s one that too many people don’t recognize as being a mash up of two old sayings: “It’s no skin off my back!” (No skin off my teeth/the shirt off my back.) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/3 "2013-03-08T10:37:41Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > And then a couple “end-to-end” quotes. “If all the debutantes in New York got laid end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.” and “If you laid every prostitute in New York end to end, it would cost you [some 7-figure number].” If you laid all the virgins in the world end-to-end, there wouldn’t be any more. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/4 "2013-03-08T10:52:26Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > This ain’t rocket surgery! > > And here’s one that too many people don’t recognize as being a mash up of two old sayings: “It’s no skin off my back!” (No skin off my teeth/the shirt off my back.) No skin off your _nose_, surely? The “teeth” one is “got away by the skin of your teeth” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/5 "2013-03-08T11:43:09Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > And then a couple “end-to-end” quotes. “If all the debutantes in New York got laid end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.” and “If you laid every prostitute in New York end to end, it would cost you [some 7-figure number].” **Eve** having again apparently absented herself from these shores, I hasten to point out that this was originally Dorothy Parker’s: "If all the girls at Vassar were laid end-to-end… I wouldn’t be surprised. > [@](#): > > “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. That way when you judge him, you’re a mile away and you have his shoes.” I’m certain this was original with an early-20th-Century wit, but I can’t remember which one. W.C/ Fields? H.L. Mencken? Will Rogers? Groucho Marx? “If you’re driving and you come to a fork in the road, for gosh sake pick it up; somebody could get a flat running over it!” Which reminds me of the little-kids’ riddle that fits this: “If March winds bring April showers, and April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” Pilgrims, of course! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/6 "2013-03-08T11:47:50Z")
I have not yet begun to give up the ship! (Maybe I’m the only one who’s said that…) A bird in the hand is messy. Or there’s [this page](http://www.criterionwaterlabs.com/macihms/WebInfo/Humor/fracsay.html)… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/7 "2013-03-08T14:30:03Z")
What doesn’t kill you, hurts really, really bad. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/8 "2013-03-08T14:36:08Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > I’m certain this was original with an early-20th-Century wit, but I can’t remember which one. W.C/ Fields? H.L. Mencken? Will Rogers? Groucho Marx? Even if it predates him, Jack Handey got some mileage out of that one, too. Treating Handey as a source for “fractured” things is playing loose with the idea of “fractured” as I see it. To wit: > [@](#): > > “Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Mankind. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words—‘mank’ and ‘ind’. What do these words mean It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/9 "2013-03-08T15:34:37Z")
It’s an ill wind that has no turning. Sic transit gloria mundi… Tuesday is usually worse. Heinlein had a character in one of the juveniles that dropped cheery fractured maxims all through the book. I wonder how many young readers were turned on to the notion of fun with language by that gambit. ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fractured-blurbs-proverbs/652358/10 "2013-03-08T15:39:17Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > Sic transit gloria mundi… And don’t forget her sister peggy mundi.