# Fran Drescher + Old Navy = I want to Die **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072 "2003-12-05T02:32:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/1 "2003-12-05T02:32:12Z")
She says “pazizzle.” There’s a monkey. She does The Laugh. L’il Kim sings. There’s the monkey again. I think this commercial has actually given me cancer. Please, may I have some more morphine? ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/2 "2003-12-05T02:38:09Z")
I just saw that commercial. Steel wool scrubbing of my brain would not be sufficient to rid me of that image. Remember, every time Fran Drescher laughs, God kills a kitten. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/3 "2003-12-05T02:40:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rico \* > \*\*Remember, every time Fran Drescher laughs, God kills a kitten. \*\* . . . I thought it was, “Every time Fran Drescher kills a kitten, God laughs.” ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/4 "2003-12-05T02:40:49Z")
Would someone please tell her to never, ever, ever, ever, under penalty of a long, hideous (and silent) death… speak? She still has a nice body and she’s fun to look at … but the moment she opens her mouth… ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/5 "2003-12-05T02:43:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\* > > I think this commercial has actually given me cancer. Please, may \*\* LOL Be thakful they didn’t go with their first choice; Carrot Topp. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/6 "2003-12-05T02:43:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\* > I think this commercial has actually given me cancer. Please, may I have some more morphine? \*\* Sorry, we ran out. How about some of that cocaine that we keep for the nose jobs? ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/7 "2003-12-05T02:48:46Z")
I guess I am the only person living that loves Fran and loves her voice and mannerisms. It’s her gimmick, and to me, it’s funny as hell. Ah well, to each his own. I don’t care, though. She’s fun, pretty and vivacious and I’d kill to have her waistline (again). ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/8 "2003-12-05T02:55:51Z")
The only hope for brain cleansing, is to replace her image with Kirstie Alley in tight green satin, singing her Santa song… ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/9 "2003-12-05T02:57:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Would someone please tell her to never, ever, ever, ever, under penalty of a long, hideous (and silent) death… speak? > > She still has a nice body and she’s fun to look at … but the moment she opens her mouth… \*\* For the record, Space Ghost fell in love with her _because_ of her voice and laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/10 "2003-12-05T02:59:49Z")
But, but… she is so hot. Especially in that commercial. ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/11 "2003-12-05T03:02:40Z")
Aagh, it’s not a monkey, it’s a [chimp](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=226823)! And what the hell is he doing in the commercial anyway? It’s amazing how each commercial has become more annoying than the previous one (so far, I’ve seen three different commercials with Fran Drescher in them). I thought the Old Navy commercials with Morgan Fairchild were annoying, but Fran Drescher is far worse. I agree with **dantheman** that she’s attractive to look at… until she opens her mouth and _that_ voice comes out… kill me, God, kill me now! ---
**Author:** ![shannablu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@shannablu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shannablu)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/12 "2003-12-05T03:15:20Z")
While agree that she is a fine looking woman, I would still rather have red hot pokers stuck in my eyes than have to listen to her whiny voice. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/13 "2003-12-05T03:16:16Z")
I don’t understand why no one likes her voice! Oh, right. The blinding pain. ---
**Author:** ![gyt\_fx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@gyt\_fx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gyt_fx)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/14 "2003-12-05T03:23:22Z")
She is decent looking (much better than she did in the nanny or whatever show it was), But her voice is HURTFUL. Hated by many. If a poll was to be taken(it wouldnt surprise me if this sparks a new thread…) I doubt any less than 3/4 of people would agree this this woman should Never open her mouth to talk, and indefinetely to laugh. I think every time Fran laughs, god kills a baby. (that doesn’t rule out third world country starving babies) Cause god kills a kitten everytime you MASTURBATE, duh. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/15 "2003-12-05T03:25:08Z")
Her voice doesn’t annoy me that much, and I’m sure some of it’s still a gimmick. Besides, I still have nothing but fond memories of her from her role in **UHF**. Man, was I smitten. All that being said, having her say “Fashizzle” is still fucking wrong. How is it that the people at Old Navy are able to make such utterly horrible, pieces of shit commercials? I mean, there’s got to be a point where someone says “Hey, wait…our commercials really SUCK!” But NOOOOO, they just keep getting worse. I know what I want for Christmas…the ad agency responsible to go up in flames (and maybe Fran tied up in my closet…I mean, if she’s not going to be doing the commercials, she may as well be doing someone…thing…some_thing_. I’m gonna go now). ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/16 "2003-12-05T03:51:50Z")
As a direct result of Old Navy’s commercials, I own none of their products and probably never will. But I might watch this commercial with the sound turned down… ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/17 "2003-12-05T03:59:55Z")
I don’t mind her voice (or her body), but the writing absolutely sucks. I hate it when crappy commercials do their job so well. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/18 "2003-12-05T04:03:50Z")
Now that she’s done an Old Navy commecial, is her career officially over? I mean, I haven’t seen Morgan Fairchild or the Smothers Brothers since they were in those commercials, so it must be somewhere near the bottom rung of the TV career ladder… ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/19 "2003-12-05T04:09:27Z")
That isn’t her “real” voice, but if it made me as much money as it’s made her, I’d talk like that too! 😃 FTR, I also agree that the Old Navy commercials are about the absolute worst, but … … here we are, all giving them free press :rolleyes: “Love me or hate me, I don’t care. Just don’t stop talking about me” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072/20 "2003-12-05T04:12:51Z")
Doesn’t Fran say, “my schizzle’s gone pazizzle”? (from [Unwords.com](http://Unwords.com)) Unword: schizzle :. schizzle (sh tz l’). 1. (n.) A non-profane version of shit. … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fran-drescher-old-navy-i-want-to-die/217072.md?page=2)