# Frank, what the FUCK is your problem? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 9, 2000, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685 "2000-08-09T07:27:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/21 "2000-08-09T15:43:26Z")
Yojimbo, Please send a copy of that to the email in my profile. I’ve got someone that needs to get that set as their wallpaper when they go to lunch. 🆒 Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/22 "2000-08-09T16:39:40Z")
I think Drain Bead got this one - the laughing was most likely out of hysterics. I have done stupid stuff in my youth too - we all have. You think you are immortal, that nothing bad could \*possibly \*happen to you. I thought it was a weird story, not quite funny, but definately weird…based in most part on the reactions of the kids in the car. And for the donkey - well. Too bad a pregnant donkey was on the road, it should have been in a pen somewhere. I DONT see Homer encouraging people to do this, and he seems to be sorry about the donkey. It _wasn’t_ a kid, it was a donkey. Frank, you want to save the world? Go preach at the drunk drivers of the board. I’ll back you up 150% !!! I think Homey learned something from this. [aside] **Mouthbreather** OH MA GAWD!! You are evil! I bow before you. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/23 "2000-08-09T16:49:03Z")
You have mail **Mouthbreather**. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/24 "2000-08-09T17:06:35Z")
> [@](#): > > And for the donkey - well. Too bad a pregnant donkey was on the road, it should have been in a pen somewhere. Yeah, how dare people do what **they** want, with **their** animals, on **their** property? Why, there might be kids trying to goof off who will otherwise be unable to do so? I still haven’t seen an answer to whether the owner of this animal was sought and compensated for its death. ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/25 "2000-08-09T17:15:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _I still haven’t seen an answer to whether the owner of this animal was sought and compensated for its death._ I’d like to know this, too. (Not really picking on you, **Homer** , but there are ramifications and consequences to every decision. You guys decided to go “hill jumping” and someone’s donkey was killed.) ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/26 "2000-08-09T17:15:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _I still haven’t seen an answer to whether the owner of this animal was sought and compensated for its death._ I’d like to know this, too. (Not really picking on you, **Homer** , but there are ramifications and consequences to every decision. You guys decided to go “hill jumping” and someone’s donkey was killed.) ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/27 "2000-08-09T18:01:40Z")
As much as I like you Homey, I think you absolved yourself of a bit too much responsibility. Who keeps giving this girl cars to drive? She blows her engine twice hilljumping, had probably had several wrecks, and people are still letting her drive? Does she buy them herself, or is she a Blue Valley girl who gets a new car every grade in HS? (sarcasm, Homey! I’m a JOCO girl myself you know!) And I know about the peer pressure angle - I had a office friend I’ve insulted because I wouldn’t let him “take my Mustang for a spin”, and he whined and bitched about it for weeks. I still won’t let anyone else drive it who I even suspect is irresponsible. This Missy is a known irresponsible and reckless driver according to your posts. If you let her behind the wheel of your car, it’s little different from letting an obvious drunk behind the wheel of your car. And I don’t blame you for laughing. **I’ve** been struck by completely inapprorpiate laughter when a tragedy has occured too - it’s a form of temporary insanity IMO. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/28 "2000-08-09T18:09:48Z")
I hate people who think laughter always means joy or happiness. I don’t cry when I’m upset. I don’t cry when I’m sad. I don’t cry when I’m scared. I laugh. And I laugh, and I laugh some more. It’s pretty embarrassing at funeral when I am trying to restrain the chuckles. Why? Because nobody understands, or bothers to ask. People cry for joy too, does anybody go after them? How DARE you cry at the wedding! etc etc. So, if he laughed, he probably was just reacting to the situation the best he could, cut him some slack. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/29 "2000-08-09T18:10:14Z")
Hey, Frank. How often are you driving along, merrily on your way, when a **donkey** of all things, begins pacing your car? A fucking fat little miniature donkey, galloping beside your car, and braying it’s little heart out? How often does a donkey then bolt in front of you, and turns it’s head to look at you while going “EEEEEE-YAWWWW!!!”? How often do you then hit said donkey, and watch it summersault down the road? No, I’m not saying the death of the donkey was funny. It wasn’t. I’m not one of those sick fucks who hits kittens on the head with a hammer to watch them twitch. I’m not one of those guys who takes free puppies from Wal-Mart to drop kick them into their lake. (Yes, I know people who have done both of those things.) But the donkey story was surreal and weird as hell. It’s not something that happens every day. Let’s say that on your way home from work today, a fucking donkey starts pacing you on the highway, and braying at you. It gets hit and killed. Is the death funny? Hell no. But the experience as a whole may cause you to laugh, because of the unexpectedness of it all. **It’s not something you expect to happen, it’s not something you see every day.** That’s why it becomes something you laugh at. Not because it was killed. It’s one of those whole “Hey, honey, you’ll NEVER GUESS what happened to me today!” Most people don’t believe me when I tell the story, because it’s just _so fucking strange._ That’s why it’s funny. A few more clarifications: We didn’t know it was pregnant until a few weeks later when the guy’s kid told us. The three other stories about Missy’s driving in my later post happened a few weeks after these events. At the time, I didn’t realize how horrible she truly was. I have LOTS of pets. And I would cry my fucking heart out if one died. I know I bawled for weeks when Mom took Cocoa to the pound. The farmer was at fault. He admitted to knowing he had a break in his fence, he admitted to neglecting to fix it, and most importantly, he admitted they had gotten out before and he hadn’t done anything to stop them. Xenophon, that wasn’t an attempted cop out. Read Frank’s reply, it appears his tiny little brain didn’t understand that I wasn’t driving. I tried to help him understand. Also, notice I said the State Trooper shot it as I drove away. The donkey was still very much alive. I think it had a broken leg. The trooper shot it, because the farmer didn’t want to deal with a lame animal. Bill H, breathing is inappropriate, from what I’ve read of you. Hey, Frank, wanna pick nits? > [@](#): > > Every day microcepheliacs come flying by at a rate of speed > [@](#): > > I’m not going to include a bunch of petty name calling and insults in this post. Nice job. I live on a gravel country road, too. People come flying down my road, too. But I don’t let my kids (if I had any) play in it. And I do my best to keep my dogs out of it. Notice I’ve repeated many times that it’s not funny because of the death (which didn’t happen till later) it’s funny because of the incredibly strange, surreal nature of the entire stream of events. Oh, Anth, your reply showed up when I was previewing this. She paid for the cars herself. She’s never had a two car accident (that I know of). And to my chagrin, I let her drive willingly. It was very soon after we met, I didn’t know how bad she was yet. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/30 "2000-08-09T18:13:14Z")
Oh, and before anyone jumps on this oversight: _Legally_ the farmer was at fault, although morally, we were as much or more so to blame. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/31 "2000-08-09T18:17:17Z")
I read the original thread and I tought Homer et al’s behavior was irresponsible. It is his car, and he was encouraging her. I have done somewhat similar stupid things in my past, so I’m not going to pass judgement. I will say that I was bothered by the fact that they laughed about killing a pregnant animal. Adding a post script about how you felt bad didn’t help much. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/32 "2000-08-09T19:02:48Z")
Homer was relating a story. He never said…“I loved it when the pregnant donkey died”. He also never said…" It was the saddest day of my life when that donkey was shot by the trooper." He was simply relating a bizarre story that he was party to. Frank made some very good points. He showed concern for what **COULD** of happened. A typical parental response. I had the same thoughts. Because I don’t want to be affected by everything I read, I look at the story at face value. A donkey died…that’s ashame. No person got hurt…that’s a relief. Now…(putting on my parent hat) If a driver is going fast in my neibourhood, I will (and have) stop them from driving fast. I’ve pulled smart mouth shit fucks out of their cars and popped them into submission. If they are going **REALLY** fast, I’ve gotten into my car and followed them until I could _talk_ with them…safely of course. Take the story at face value and don’t preach about what **MIGHT** have happened. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Myndephuquer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@Myndephuquer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myndephuquer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/33 "2000-08-09T19:08:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > It was a link originally posted in another thread ( which was deleted , the link not the thread) that showed a guy pulling his asshole wide open so you can see all the lovely red insides. Not nice and very gross. ::shudder:: > [@](#): > > **I’ve got a cached copy of the pic if you want it but I don’t think you really want to see it . I wish I hadn’t.** yojimbo, I am truly indebted to you for sparing me. I am somewhat able to hold my lunch down after reading your description, but I really think that I would have lost it, and been seriously scarred for life, had I seen the image. I was wrong – please don’t scar me! Man, after reading that description, I feel like you pulled a Secret Service dive and pushed me out of a spray of skull-bound bullets. I’m still shaky. (note to self: If something makes Coldfire say, “Holy Crap,” just slowly back away and never speak of it again.) ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/34 "2000-08-09T19:17:37Z")
My reaction after reading the original thread was, “what a bunch of hicks”. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/35 "2000-08-09T20:14:31Z")
Never said you were driving. Your car = your responsiblity. Neither my children nor my pets play in the road. However, they do occasionally play near the road. Vehicles travelling fast enough to jump hills have been known to leave the roadway, striking objects near the road. Perhaps your laughter was a “hysterical” response. You never said so. The entire tone of your description of this event was very flip. You didn’t say “Hey dopers, here’s a sad thing that happened.” Nope, you went for “Hey, here’s a weird/strange/surreal/funny thing that I helped cause!” Only just now have you bothered to clarify that this event did in fact make you sad. It was far more of a priority for you to attack me for being offended by your post. Picking nits: How does my characterization of the people who drive on the road where I live include you, unless you are one of them? Whatever. What do you want, Homer? An apology. Not going to happen. An admission that you’ve done nothing wrong? Likewise, no go. I think your behavior was irresponsible and your response to the results both callous and immature. Have I done shitty things in my life? Yep, sure have. Still do on occasion. I usually feel better after I admit it. I’m not proud of it. And I generally don’t make self-congratulatory posts to message boards about behavior that I am ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/36 "2000-08-09T20:15:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xenophon41 \* > _ **Homer** , **Frankd6** wasn’t harsh with you at all. Let me explain this from a parent’s perspective.[list=a][li]It was your car[]You were in the car, enjoying the speed like everyone else[_]_You_ let Missy drive; in fact, you encouraged her to drive, even though she’s “quite possibly the worst driver ever”[/list=a] **You share the responsibility for the accident, Tim.** [/li] > I’m sure you’re NOT a punk, but I don’t blame **Frankd6** for using the word. Might it not be useful to actually _learn_ something from that surreal incident? > \*\* Three things come to my mind: 1- Homer, you _ **do** _ share the blame for the accident. 2- It was none of Frank’s damn business until 3- _You_ (meaning Homer) posted it on a public board, thus inviting comment. Chill out, you two. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/37 "2000-08-09T20:28:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by drainthelizard \* > \*\*1- Homer, you _ **do** _ share the blame for the accident. > 2- It was none of Frank’s damn business until > 3- _You_ (meaning Homer) posted it on a public board, thus inviting comment. \*\* Yeah, this realization struck me, too. Immediately followed by “Wow, if I did anything this dumb, I’d be awfully embarrassed if people found out about it.” So, **Homer,** what sort of reaction were you _hoping_ to get from people here when you decided to tell your little tale? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/38 "2000-08-09T21:53:59Z")
I guess I still don’t understand how the incident can be classified as “surreal.” An unusual chain of events, perhaps, but hardly surreal. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/39 "2000-08-09T22:31:07Z")
I’m agreeing with Frank on this one, and I usually enjoy your posts, **Homey**.(any Simpsons fan is all right by me.) As posted the story seemed pretty cruel and callous. I understand your qualifications in this thread, but they were all unknown from reading the OP, so I can’t blame Frank for his reaction and IMO you shouldn’t either. And that graphic did nothing for your credibility. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685/40 "2000-08-10T04:08:58Z")
**Homer** wrote > [@](#): > > _Legally_ the farmer was at fault… Yeah, right. Going 60mph down dirt roads in a populated area with the express purpose of launching the car for 15 yards is not legal in any state I’m aware of. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/28685.md?page=3)