# Frank, you're such a tool (for closing my thread, etc.) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 2, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609 "2006-12-02T19:09:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/21 "2006-12-03T00:03:31Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] Go ahead an attack me, I suppose, but I am not attracted to fat guys. Perhaps that makes me a hypocrite, but the thought of having sex with an overweight man doesn’t do a thing for me. [/QUOTE] Shit, there goes my chances of getting laid. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/22 "2006-12-03T00:14:42Z")
IIRC, **Aeschines** is the same moron who yelled at us when people like **DrMark0000** or whatever his name was and **mswas** and other incoherant trolls were banned. It wasn’t about difference preferences-it was putting down anyone who believed differently from him. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/23 "2006-12-03T00:20:20Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] It wasn’t about difference preferences-it was putting down anyone who believed differently from him. [/QUOTE] I’m not seeing that. I just reread the entire thread. I see him saying he doesn’t agree, I see posters attacking him for saying he doesn’t equate love with fucking, but I don’t see him “putting down anyone who believed differently from him.” At least, no more than others were doing him for, you know, believing differently than themselves. You’re certainly welcome to show me otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/24 "2006-12-03T00:26:26Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] Shit, there goes my chances of getting laid. [/QUOTE] Wait—you were thinking of **DiosaBellisima** as your last chance of getting laid? As for the thread in question, by the end of it I could very definitely sense the sneering, much of it coming from **Aeschines** , which was taking the thread to a level of hostility far more suitable to the Pit than to IMHO (given that the H inIMHO stands for “Humble,” not “Hostile”) and spoiling what could have been a very good IMHO thread. I get why **Frank** closed it, and I’m inclined to agree with him. ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/25 "2006-12-03T00:29:25Z")
I’m going to weigh in here (no pun intended). While I didn’t post in the original thread, as a fatass, I didn’t find it offensive. Obviously the person who started the thread didn’t find themselves attracted to fatasses and wanted to know things about it - and if he wanted to know why someone found a fatass attractive, I don’t find that offensive in the least bit. Some people like fatties, and some don’t. If he wants to get into the minds of those who like fatties, I still don’t find that offensive - and I find fatties who want people to apologize over offending fatties offensive. You’re a fatass, just like me. Some people aren’t attracted to people with large breasts, and some people aren’t attracted to people taller than them, and some people aren’t attracted to blondes. It all comes down to taste. **Aeschines** shouldn’t have to apologize because you’re a fatass and he doesn’t find you attractive, and he shouldn’t have to apologize for making a generalization in IMHO. Face it - fat people generally aren’t found to be attractive, physically. Anyone who says that people who judge by appearance are totally shallow is a liar. I could show you a picture of a woman who has one of the most attractive personalities ever, and is one of the best human beings I know, but weighs 350 lbs and has a mustache, and people would scream things like “EW GROSS!” without having met her. As **DiosaBellissima** said, we all have our preconcieved notions - what makes us better than that is that we take the time to get to know said person. That said, get over yourselves - you’re fat. I’m fat. Don’t expect people to tell you you’re beautiful - you’re fat, and most people think that’s gross. (Note: There’s a difference between what I’m talking about - FAT - and being a size 14. I’m bisexual, and I find rail-thin women to be disgusting. Curves = not disgusting). ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/26 "2006-12-03T00:32:03Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] I’m not seeing that. I just reread the entire thread. I see him saying he doesn’t agree, I see posters attacking him for saying he doesn’t equate love with fucking, but I don’t see him “putting down anyone who believed differently from him.” At least, no more than others were doing him for, you know, believing differently than themselves. You’re certainly welcome to show me otherwise. [/QUOTE] Let’s see: > [@](#): > > I am not an obese person, nor have I ever had intercourse with one (not of a sexual kind, at any rate). And that kind of thing certainly isn’t my “kink.” > > But I’ve chanced upon pr0n (still pics, not videos, thank god, although sometimes there is some chunk in there, you know, full-figured), and it raises my curiosity to a degree. Not so much how the whole thing would look, but how it would feel socially and emotionally. OK, physically too (the whole “the more cushion” thing). Why is having sex with someone who might be considered obese a “kink” and oh my god, videos of someone he considers unattractive! The horror! Okay, maybe that’s not so bad. Let’s move on, shall we? > [@](#): > > Was it a case of “beer goggles,” “settling,” “kink,” or “none of the above”? Implying that one would HAVE to have something wrong or abnormal about them to ever want to have sex with a FAT PERSON!!! When someone said that a person’s looks weren’t his or her primary attraction, he replied: > [@](#): > > So, an 80-year-old with raging leprosy (let’s assume it’s not contagious) and her face half rotting off could in theory get you in the sack by dint of her savoire-faire? I’m not buying it. > [@](#): > > I must say I’m rather mystified by the association of many here of “love” with sex. This love being a rather oopy goopy 19th-century thing with all manner of fantasy baggage. > > I believe in love; it means caring about a person (in various ways). But love + sexual attraction doesn’t equal “love” (hearts/cupids/De Boers adverts). YMMV. Kind of a put down to people who were talking about their partners, whom they obviously DO “love”. And: > [@](#): > > Another cliche, babe. I’m attracted to hot, intelligent, dominant women. And I like hot, intelligent, sex with both partners as equals. At the same time, participating in such a relationship doesn’t send me into rainbows/unicorns/eternal love mode. No one said anything about “rainbows and cupids” or whatever. They simply said they love their SO, and he immediately began to belittle that. Apparently, according to him, sex is only good if the person is “bangable”, or whatever. > [@](#): > > You enjoying the fantasy of eternal monogamy too? Again, sneering, condescending at someone who dares believe otherwise. Perhaps if his history of being a jackass and a borderline troll wasn’t against him, I would give **Aeschines** the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately for him, that’s not the case. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/27 "2006-12-03T00:34:50Z")
Good call on closing the thread. It was no different than some of drmark’s screeds, in which he’d ask for an opinion then sneer at every “wrong” answer, which was pretty much any answer written by someone other than himself. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/28 "2006-12-03T00:43:13Z")
I didn’t see **tashabot** ’s post when I hit submit-it wasn’t so much that he has different preferences, it was his sneering, belittling of anyone who MIGHT find those who are overweight attractive, and for people whose outlook on relationships in general were different. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/29 "2006-12-03T00:43:22Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Kind of a put down to people who were talking about their partners, whom they obviously DO “love”. And: No one said anything about “rainbows and cupids” or whatever. They simply said they love their SO, and he immediately began to belittle that. Apparently, according to him, sex is only good if the person is “bangable”, or whatever. Again, sneering, condescending at someone who dares believe otherwise. Perhaps if his history of being a jackass and a borderline troll wasn’t against him, I would give **Aeschines** the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately for him, that’s not the case. [/QUOTE] First of all, I replied to the first chunk of your examples up thread before you even posted them. My feelings on the subject can be found up there _points up_. He was replying (in the rainbow and cupid area) to a comment that said, “Stop thinking of the women as slabs of meat to be graded.” That’s not someone talking about their SO that they are in love with, that’s someone telling him to stop being a sexist pig. His reply was more than fair, explaining that he wants a woman to be equal in every way. I’m missing what you’re seeing here. And sorry, I don’t know his history. I’m terrible keeping tabs on the names of folks I know IRL, let alone random people I come across on a message board on the internet. I can honestly say, I can’t remember a single instance he’s stood out to be as an uber douche. Hell, I didn’t even recognize his name until I saw the thread. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/30 "2006-12-03T00:46:23Z")
And I also think the comment about “an 80-year-old with raging leprosy” was perfectly apt and pertinent to the discussion. Here we have people jumping in and saying that THEY are not _gasp_ totally shallow like the OP and that a good personality more than makes up for physical short comings (something, strangely, I actually agree with). The OP just gave ya an example where maybe her personality might not make up for the short coming. Sure, it was extreme, but so? It got the point across. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/31 "2006-12-03T00:46:33Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] I can honestly say, I can’t remember a single instance he’s stood out to be as an uber douche. [/QUOTE] Well, wait five minutes. He rarely disappoints. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/32 "2006-12-03T03:11:04Z")
> [@](#): > > **DiosaBellissima** : And I also think the comment about “an 80-year-old with raging leprosy” was perfectly apt. You might not think that if you were an 80 year old man with similar circumstances. I hate to break it to you, but there’s been an increase in sexual activity at assisted living facilities and nursing homes since the introduction of viagra. > [@](#): > > DiosaBellissima: Go ahead an attack me, I suppose, but I am not attracted to fat guys. > > \ > > We about menstruation porn? Vomit porn? You put vomit porn in the same category as making love with an obese person? Do you realize the message you are sending about yourself and about what you think of other fat people? What about videos of _people who live in Bakersfield?_ Ick! To me, of course, there’s nothing quirky about fat people or people who live in Bakersfield. > [@](#): > > To the “socially and emotionally” point- are you going to tell me that there might not be a bit of a social stigma about being the dude that porks the fat chicks? Quite honestly, in my world **socially and emotionally** there is no stigma about being the “dude that porks the fat chicks.” My world is peopled by many post-menopausal women who find that it’s not as easy to keep the pounds off as it used to be – and by the men who cherish them. What **does** have a social stigma (and has for as long as I’ve been a grown woman) are men who talk about sex with women as though the women were just “things” and sex was just a physical release for him. I’m glad to hear that **Aeschines** likes to have equal partners while he’s “banging chicks.” Faking it with an equal partner seems like an interesting start. With **Aeschines** there seems to be a choice between porking someone and faking cupids, hearts, and rainbows. **Tell me why that’s NOT a shallow view of sex?** Yes, **Aeschine** , I’ll hang onto my dreams of eternal monogamy just a little bit longer – at least until the Class of '09. That’s when our granddaughter graduates from college. (Okay, she’s my step-grandaughter, but I was there when she was born!) I wish you contentment and fulfillment whichever routes you choose. Just be a little more humble in IMHO or Dopers will think you are not having much sex at all. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/33 "2006-12-03T03:18:29Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] And sorry, I don’t know his history. [/QUOTE] In that case, be advised that **Aeschines** has been regularly dumping on **Frank** at every opportunity ever since **Frank** weighed in against **drmark**. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/34 "2006-12-03T03:33:07Z")
[QUOTE=Lute Skywatcher] In that case, be advised that **Aeschines** has been regularly dumping on **Frank** at every opportunity ever since **Frank** weighed in against **drmark**. [/QUOTE] He has? Huh. Certainly I made no secret about my dislike of the unholy trinity. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/35 "2006-12-03T04:08:36Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] It was poorly worded, I agreed to that long long ago, but people here ought to be smart enough to see through the poor turn of phrase. [/QUOTE] I don’t think it was “poorly worded” he said exactly what he meant, and backed it up later on. What he did was ask about interests that are not his own while suggesting those interests are freakish and sad. I don’t believe for an instant that he asked about fetishes, beer goggling and settling with open eyed innocence “Gee, I didn’t think any of you would be insulted by that. Whoops!” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/36 "2006-12-03T04:28:25Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] He has? Huh. [/QUOTE] Whenever he feels you slighted him or one of the other stooges, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/37 "2006-12-03T04:35:56Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] IIRC, **Aeschines** is the same moron who yelled at us when people like **DrMark0000** or whatever his name was and **mswas** and other incoherant trolls were banned. It wasn’t about difference preferences-it was putting down anyone who believed differently from him. [/QUOTE] yea it took me awhile to figure out who this clown was then I remembered—he was the old paranormal guy (originally I was thinking Lekatt) but then I did a search on old Aeschines. What a tool this guy ain’t banging anything but his own pud ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/38 "2006-12-03T04:47:46Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] I have to say that I was surprised that this thread was closed. I found it amusing, although started and worded badly, IMO. But since it was IMHO, who cares? I have seen plenty of threads out there that were worded badly, possibly offensive to some that have stayed the whole course, no matter how it was worded. **Frank** , your initial warning was understandable, but not the closing of the whole thread. I never gave my two cents in the thread for some reason. But I have met skinny guys who have found big women attractive. And I have also known some who almost looked at it as a ‘check in the box’ of conquests. It was definitely in the appropriate spot where others could voice their opinions, and if nobody someone found offense to the wording or subject of **Aeschines** and others who gave offending views, it was the appropriate place for them to make their side known and perhaps educate **Aeschines**. [/QUOTE] I have to agree with **FMG** here. Along with most of the posters there, I wasn’t crazy about **Aeschines** poor wording, but under the circumstances (it IS after all IMHO), I thought most were behaving themselves. **Aeschines** tends to be harsh and judgmental in most of his posts and threads. But I don’t really think his attitude extends all the way to “trolling”. It also seemed that the other posters were doing a good job of keeping the thread on track. **Aeschines** sneers sometimes, that’s what he does, the subject of the thread isn’t what caused that. (imho). ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/39 "2006-12-03T05:26:12Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] It also seemed that the other posters were doing a good job of keeping the thread on track. **Aeschines** sneers sometimes, that’s what he does, the subject of the thread isn’t what caused that. [/QUOTE] I guess I don’t think that the responsibility for keeping the thread on track should depend on other posters ignoring or tolerating the OP’s attitude. _shrug_ If, in the future, some other poster decides to try the subject again without the attitude, I can’t see why I’d have a problem with it. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609/40 "2006-12-03T05:48:41Z")
to **VC03, DiosaBellissima, and CanvasShoes** for supporting me, and thereby supporting logic and sense as well. I will now respond to the jackass contingent, which, sadly, represents the majority of participants in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/frank-youre-such-a-tool-for-closing-my-thread-etc/382609.md?page=3)