# Freakin' Access
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 22, 1999, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231 "1999-09-22T13:21:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 6
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)
#### Post date: [September 22, 1999, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231/1 "1999-09-22T13:21:00Z")
Ok, normally I’d never consider psoting a work-type question here…but I’m begging any and all Microsof Access genius’s here…this is driving me up the wall. Does anyone know of a good site to go to for help, someone to e-mail for help, even a damn 900 number I can call…
Now just a disclamer…I need some advanced advice here…I’m certified expert at access 97…passed with a 98%…But this security feature has whooped my ass… **HELP!**
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### Author:  [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)
#### Post date: [September 23, 1999, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231/2 "1999-09-23T03:08:00Z")
Don’t know about any helpdesks (except you might try Microsoft’s homepage).
Still, I’ve worked with Access quite a bit, and a few others here probably have, too. How 'bout some details. What’s the problem?
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### Author:  [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)
#### Post date: [September 23, 1999, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231/3 "1999-09-23T06:45:00Z")
Hey, wanna see something neat? If you have access to machine with Windows NT 4, open its task manager and tab over to the CPU graph. Watch it noodle around the low end of the scale for a while. Then open up MS Access, and watch as the CPU usage shoots straight to 100% and stays there.
I will pay $20 to anyone who gives me a good technical reason why this behavior was permitted in a “finished” software product.
(As of yet, I have only come up with one possible explanation: “MS programmers are braindead sacks of nearly-sentient protoplasm whose sole purpose in existence is to make my life difficult.” This theory has yet to be disproven by evidence.)
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Of course I don’t fit in; I’m part of a better puzzle.
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### Author:  [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)
#### Post date: [September 23, 1999, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231/4 "1999-09-23T06:50:00Z")
Anyway, posting the details of your problem here would be a good idea. There are enough of us programmers around that you’re bound to get some workable suggestions, if not the precise solution.
(BTW, do you say “certified expert” meaning that you got your MCSE? If not that, then what?)
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Of course I don’t fit in; I’m part of a better puzzle.
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### Author:  [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)
#### Post date: [September 23, 1999, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231/5 "1999-09-23T12:40:00Z")
Ok…I didn’t want to post to many details here, 'cause I really wasn’t sure if I was breaking some unwritten rule about asking for work-type advice.
As far as the certification, well when I was an instructor at a computer training session, they made us all take something calles a M.O.U.S. test…you can find more info for it at [www.mouse.net](http://www.mouse.net)
It stands for **M** icrosoft **O** ffice **U** ser **S** pecialist It’s a fairly good test designed to give someone that works with Access, but is short of time/money needed to get a MCP, a chance to have something that says _Yes I know how to create a database_
The problem I was having was with assigning security for **one** database that is accessed via a NT network. After $100 in books, I finally found one that touched on the security, but it fell short of explaining how to really make it work. I mean I can see the user interface damn it, but how do you get it to work with just one database, and not every time you start Access.
(sigh)…I finnaly figured it out…I had to make a shortcut with about 4 different switches to open it from the shared location.
Thanks to all that offered to help…I guess I jumped the gun a little, but I’ve been beating my head against the wall for 4 days on this thing and had gotten frustrated. I mean I can write Macros, do the VBA coding I need, but I couldn’t get the stupid security to work…and it came with a Wizard…But I finaly found the one paragraph in the entire bood that helped…Again, thanks to everyone for offering to help.
If anyone wants more info about the tests, let me know…I’ll be happy to help.
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### Author:  [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)
#### Post date: [September 23, 1999, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/freakin-access/8231/6 "1999-09-23T13:14:00Z")
FileMaker Inc. could use this column as advertising copy.
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