# Fred can't get no respect **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 11, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648 "2009-09-11T04:10:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/1 "2009-09-11T04:10:06Z")
Poor Fred. He just can’t get no respect. He’s [tall,](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2096184150000735275UqWVdw) wide and [handsome](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2564787050000735275KtPKvh) (or so he’d tell you, should you dare to doubt it), but the mental and physical midgets profaning his personal space just refuse to pay him the proper due. Sometimes it’s his own brother Ed who tries to [muscle his way onto Fred’s personal perch.](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2778855540000735275WnrSqA) Heck, sometimes it’s [his own tail](http://pets.webshots.com/album/551071507INUAkQ) that refuses to obey his regal commands. But it’s the junior members of the household, the impudent whippersnappers, who gravel him most grievously. Take [Sally](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2008597570000735275aXEwyl) (take her please! Fred implores), the sleek little thing with the outsize ego, who as a tiny kitten had the audacity to [intrude upon Fred’s very own bookcase eyrie](http://pets.webshots.com/album/547893536ZKpxro). To this day Fred regards her with disgruntlement (an expression into which his face falls with facile frequency). Still, she rarely pays him much mind, and so he can (mostly) ignore her. But [Schooner!](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2014397550000735275ZKfall) Schooner, the bratty newcomer, the sturdy, spunky, fearless, [playful](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2835431440000735275qstdUK) – _playful!_ What horrors lurk within that innocent word for a gentleman of such massive dignity as Fred! And so it came to pass that, one fine day (or not so fine for one participant, as things turned out), Fred found his afternoon nap in his accustomed place, at the foot of my bed, disrupted by Schooner’s refusal to take a disdainful hint and get lost. First, Fred tried [ignoring](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2295044730000735275kAtYEP) the obnoxious twit. Alas, [determined ignoring](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2143416280000735275WVmRFD) did nothing. Worse than nothing, for said obnoxious twit had the nerve to get up and walk _right by_ poor Fred! Who was forced, forced I tell you, to [defend himself.](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2018896870000735275KRryJW) Which, as it happens, was not a wise move. (I never said Fred was smart, now, did I?) Schooner, who takes gleeful delight in wrestling with any feline foolish or slowfooted enough to fall into his clutches, promptly [went for the headlock.](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2722901730000735275DZEBDh) Some [inconclusive punches were thrown](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2603488340000735275BJtNoL) – rather less effective on Fred’s part as it’s hard to land accurate blows when one’s eyes are squeezed shut – though Schooner did plant a good one – [Pow! Right in the kisser!](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2999114100000735275dGHgKq) – on his oversize opponent. But the bout was soon over, fizzling out in [glares and muttered threats](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2556739750000735275BuYwLp) on Fred’s part, and ending at last with Schooner, bored, breaking off while Fred subsided into disgruntled and (or so it would seem) [slightly embarrassed surrender.](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2876649740000735275mQomoj) I tell ya, it’s a sad day when a man can’t even take a nap without being harassed by some young punk. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/2 "2009-09-11T15:54:33Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > fizzling out in [glares and muttered threats](http://pets.webshots.com/photo/2556739750000735275BuYwLp) on Fred’s part That squinty eye–so “whachutalkinboutWillis”! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/3 "2009-09-11T17:42:33Z")
Blasphemy! I opened your first link, and the picture of your beautiful Freddie was overlaid with an ad about those uncattish nemeses of all that is feline! _Dogs!_ How dare the puling minions of ‘WagWorld’ intrude upon our catlike utopias! ---
**Author:** ![MizTina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MizTina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizTina)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/4 "2009-09-11T19:54:40Z")
Poor Fred, poor put upon Fred. He deserves a halo for what he has to endure! Man, I love orange tabbys. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/5 "2009-09-11T20:04:38Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > That squinty eye–so “whachutalkinboutWillis”! And have you noticed how Sally is watching the whole thing from the corner? I bet Fred never heard the end of _that._ ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/6 "2009-09-12T02:01:31Z")
You don’t mention Peanut…I’m afraid to ask. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/7 "2009-09-12T02:43:19Z")
Peanut is fine! Fatter than ever, and still doing that weird sitting up and scrubbing thing he does. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/8 "2009-09-12T03:18:53Z")
I’m so glad to hear that! His scrubbing is obviously a Zen-like practice that keeps him in an elevated state, where he is above the Fred/Ed/Sally drama. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/9 "2009-09-12T10:22:37Z")
> [@MizTina](#): > > Poor Fred, poor put upon Fred. He deserves a halo for what he has to endure! > > Man, I love orange tabbys. I love them too. Not as much as the OP does, but they’re very attractive. I now have two of them living in my house, thanks to the OP. Not that she gave them to me…it’s just that after looking at her gorgeous marmies, I had to get one of my own. And so did my husband. And Fred looks absolutely disgusted in that last pic. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fred-cant-get-no-respect/509648/10 "2009-09-12T14:25:29Z")
Wow, congratulations, **Lynn**! Glad to hear I’m of some use in this world, even if it’s only to seduce more people into adopting orange tiger boys. Fred is very good at looking disgusted; he’s had a lot of practice…