You could try throwing the bible back at them:
or
or you could just go with something like
“Don’t worry Fred, no man wants you anyway.”
God Hates Fred
Ah, yes, one of my fondest memories. Just a few years back, I was driving near Texas Stadium just before a big Billy Graham revival thingamajig. And there I saw, just on the other side of the intersection I was stopped at, a gaggle of Phelpses huddled under their umbrellas in the driving Texas winter rain, holding signs condemning ol’ Billy to Hell for not hating gays.
When I saw the big puddle just past them, I just couldn’t help myself. When the light turned green, I accelerated slowly past them into the puddle, hit it coasting in neutral, then revved the engine and popped the clutch as I hit the middle of it. Nailed it-half the puddle rapidly relocated to the area of the protesters.
I might have felt more guilty pleasure having sexual intercourse with a prostitute. Or maybe not. 
What you need is a grenade launcher. Google up, “Army Surplus.”
whistlepig, you mentioned standing, with your sign, amongst the Phelps clan.
Please, please, this is not a good idea. Take it from someone who has participated in many a counter protest against Phred. I live in Topeka, and even got mention by him in a fax, (many years ago, in the tiny print, along with several others.) These people are not only bigoted, they are extremely violent. They once attacked the pastor of the church I was attending at the time, coming onto church property to do so. When a jogger tried to jog through them, they “took him down”.
Take heart, they may not actually show up. About half the time, when they schedule out of town protests, they are no-shows. They think it looks good to have a “full schedule”, and just getting locals riled up, like in Helena, makes the Felps Klan look good(in their eyes).
As to the sign, no more than three or four words. Large block letters. It’s really the most people can take in while driving by. One that had a couple of variations in Topeka, several years back:
LOVE SPEAKS LOUDER
See, it’s fun to insult Fred and the WBC, but why lower yourself to their level? Humor is better than hate. I’m female and heterosexual, but once, when a female friend and I had to cross the street, in their sight(they were on opposite corner yelling at us) we linked arms and acted all kissy face with each other, and didn’t even look at them. Made them scream even more.
Which touches on the theme I would suggest:
“You know you want to kiss me, you little slut” :wally
Include the Wally. That way we’ll recognize you on the teevee.
I’m still waiting for someone to do:
God Hates Fags
…with a circle/slash over a picture of a cigarette.
Dude, Fred Phelps coming to town IS a sign!
JESUS LOVES YOU
in those pants
From John 8:7 - “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Matthew 15:11 - “It is not what enters one’s mouth that defiles that person; but what comes out of the mouth is what defiles one.”
From Matthew 22:39 - “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Matthew 23:27 - “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hipocrites. You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth.” (Well, except I’ve never felt that Phelps’ crowd very attractive at all…)
Matthew 23:33 - “You serpents, you brood of vipers how can you flee from the judgement of Gehenna?”
Matthew 23 is full of other attacks on the Pharisees, and seems a good place to look for more quotes to hit Phelps and his crowd with.
If God hates fags, why does He make so many of them?
(or “us”, depending on your orientation)
Phelps: Biblical cherry-picker
Fred Phelps is as great a sinner as a gay person, for he has shaved off the corner of his beard. (Leviticus 21:5)
Here’s what the Bible says, Fred. Matthew 27:5 and he…went and hanged himself. Luke 10:37 Then said Jesus unto him, Go and do thou likewise.
How about
Fred Phelps is a latent homosexual
That ought to chap his ass good.
Howzabout:
I hate the haters!
or:
God is Love!
or:
He protesteth too much!
Frankly, I think that Mr. Felps is having some kind of internal conflict with himself, and probably can’t deal with his closeted feelings. It’s one thing to feel uncomfortable around “otherly lifestyled” people, quite another to follow them around the contenent trying to get noticed…
“Let he who is sinless, cast the first stone” might be the best of all signs, but raining frogs would be quite a newstory as well. I second the whole “give them distance, 'cause they are nutso” factor. The best quote I got about him and his gaggle was them being described as “a hate group masquerading as a Christian church.”, and that was from a fairly conservative Christian website.
If you do go protest his shenanigans, bring a friend with a videocamera. In case someting bad happens, you at least have some evidence on your side, or you might make a few bucks from the local news outlet.
That’s my two cents.
Funny.
“Is it because I’m a lesbian?”
Works on a few levels. Especially if a man is holding it.
I say go with God Hates Shrimp.
Jesus Weeps Phor Phred Felps
Better Dead Than Phred (ok…maybe not this one)
Phred Phlinstone Felps - Little Caveman Of Hate
Phree Phread’s Phear Phor Phags
The ‘Ph’ is attention getting…
Argh…that’s Phred’s, not Phread’s…
Is it just me, or does Fred look like that dude from the Poltergeist movies?