It’s a Cinderella story…
You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!
No, but my dad used to be a piano mover, so…
They sit at the bar and put bread in my jar.
So, who’s the wiseguy that put zwieback in my jar?
Oh, a wise guy, huh?
Paging Dr. Howard! Dr. Fine! Dr. Howard!
Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don’t have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they’re here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they’ll hear you.
I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV. So listen to the medical advice I’m about to give you. Because I know what I’m talking about, since I play a doctor on TV.
Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
The Butter Battle Book
You sank my battleship!
“No, that’s not my flag. That’s a bomb.”
“Strike, spy.”
Hit the Bricks!
The Brickyard
She’s a brick… house
Lionel Richie was surprised (but not attacked) by Michael Jackson’s pet boa constrictor while they were working on the song We Are The World.