# FREE Book! (And Help A Fellow Doper By Reading It...) **URL:** \ **Category:** Marketplace\ **Created:** [November 10, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564 "2013-11-10T08:13:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/1 "2013-11-10T08:13:09Z")
I have just uploaded my novel, “Fool Proof” to the website, Authonomy. This is sort of a slush pile for authors to submit work and have others read it, make comments, and continue to work on it before trying to publish it in some form or manner. It is **totally free** (although you might have to register), and there are tons of other interesting books to read as well - so consider this a cool link to lots of free books. However, it does help to have more people read and comment on your book, and thus I was wondering if some of my fellow Dopers would be so kind as to go in and check it out, and perhaps write a comment or two? Here is my current blurb: “Mike led a rather charmed life as a manager/agent to the biggest musical superstars in the world. When the President of the USA stopped by rather unexpectedly with a request to save the free world, Mike could hardly refuse – especially considering his rather angry, bitter and vengeful ex-wife was married to the President. Mike came up with one of his famous “fool proof” plans, but as anyone who has ever created a fool proof plan can attest, there are plenty of fools out there to screw up the best of plans. Spies, terrorists and politicians were often somewhat uncooperative with each other. Add to that a rather lengthy list of little things like attempted murder charges, hijackings and kidnapping, Mike also had to take care of some high-strung divas who could easily be more explosive and dangerous than any of the spies, terrorists or politicians. Still, Mike had many resources, inspired tricks and secrets in that closet he had come out of many years ago, and they served him well in time of need – and he still found time to go out and have an occasional drink with the guys.” And here is the **free** link to the book: > **[HarperCollins UK Publishers Ltd.](https://harpercollins.co.uk/)** > > HarperCollins UK is home to many of the country’s best loved authors, books and brands. Discover thousands of fantastic titles from some of the brightest names in fiction, non-fiction, children’s books, reference and more. HarperCollins is proud to... Any comments would be welcomed - the good and the bad! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/2 "2013-11-22T07:50:48Z")
Not that anyone is beating down the doors to read my book, but just thought I would mention that the Authonomy website has suddenly crashed (November 20 and 21 so far) - they are working on it, but just in case anyone does click the link above and get a white screen, it might be that it is still not up and running. ---
**Author:** ![grace105](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@grace105](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grace105)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/3 "2013-11-22T08:41:15Z")
The site is back up. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/4 "2013-11-22T17:37:28Z")
> [@grace105](#): > > The site is back up. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/5 "2013-11-22T18:31:35Z")
BTW, far be it from me to use this thread to promote the book and blatantly ask for fellow Dopers to briefly register on that site and put my book on their “Bookshelf” and give me a 6 star rating. Granted, that is how books reach the top of the list and you get considered for future publication, but to flat out beg is not only beneath me - that would be shameless promotion. No, I would never sink so low.\* Besides, just because you hate puppies and don’t go in and back my book, that doesn’t make you a bad person. - Rumors that backing my book on the Authonomy site will ensure health, wealth, eternal happiness and free pie for life have yet to be proven, despite the numerous testimonials to that affect. I think it would be far better for you just to read at least the first chapter and eagerly dash in to show your support, based solely on the merits of the book. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/6 "2013-12-04T12:13:19Z")
I missed this the first time around but—free book? Free pie for life? I’m in! And I don’t even need the pie. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/7 "2013-12-04T20:26:02Z")
Is there a downloadable version I could read on my iPad? ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/8 "2013-12-05T07:39:01Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > I missed this the first time around but—free book? Free pie for life? I’m in! > > And I don’t even need the pie. Cool - if you do read it, I would love to get your comments! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2013, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/9 "2013-12-05T07:40:27Z")
> [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](#): > > Is there a downloadable version I could read on my iPad? I just sent you a Private Message. Thanks for asking! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/10 "2013-12-26T08:10:29Z")
The book Fool Proof is slowly climbing up the charts on Authonomy. Thanks for all who clicked on it and read it (or parts of it?). Due to no popular demand whatsoever, I am already writing the second book in this series, Fool’s Gold, and you can read the first draft of the unfinished version here: > **[HarperCollins UK Publishers Ltd.](https://harpercollins.co.uk/)** > > HarperCollins UK is home to many of the country’s best loved authors, books and brands. Discover thousands of fantastic titles from some of the brightest names in fiction, non-fiction, children’s books, reference and more. HarperCollins is proud to... Fool Proof is being edited for grammar and spelling and some tweaking of the story here and there, and the final version of that first book should be updated in the next few weeks. Thanks again! ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/11 "2014-02-03T01:05:20Z")
Got the kindle preview and had to buy the book. Can’t wait to find out what happens next. Loved the Denny’s skillet scene! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2014, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/12 "2014-02-03T07:49:18Z")
> [@sinjin](#): > > Got the kindle preview and had to buy the book. Can’t wait to find out what happens next. Loved the Denny’s skillet scene! Thanks! Hope you like it and please let me know your comments when you finish the book! BTW, if anyone is interested - yes the final, edited version of Fool Proof is now on Amazon: > **[Fool Proof - Kindle edition by Thomas, David Mark. Literature & Fiction...](https://www.amazon.com/Fool-Proof-David-Mark-Thomas-ebook/dp/B00HSRUYGS)** > > Fool Proof - Kindle edition by Thomas, David Mark. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Fool Proof. The original link above - to Authonomy - is an earlier version without the much needed editing of grammar, spelling and a few other tweaks. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/13 "2014-02-04T17:20:57Z")
Just finished! I really enjoyed it. It was a fun read and I am looking forward to the next one. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/14 "2014-02-06T19:33:09Z")
It’s in my to-do list. I have to admit the only reason I’m going to read it is your amusing attempts to shill it here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/15 "2014-02-08T19:28:15Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s in my to-do list. I have to admit the only reason I’m going to read it is your amusing attempts to shill it here. 🙂 Thank you! And I have no idea what you mean by trying to shill it here…far be it from me to sink to such a level and shamelessly plug the book! BTW, here is a recent letter I got when attempting to use the success of Fool Proof to get work: Harvard University Academic Selection Committee Sir, We regret to inform you that your request and application to be a Professor of Literature at Harvard University has been declined. While we appreciate that your novel, FOOL PROOF ([Fool Proof - Kindle edition by Thomas, David Mark. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.](http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HSRUYGS)) has sold “dozens of copies” and you are currently about a third completed with your follow up novel, FOOL’S GOLD, this by no means gives you the qualifications we are looking for in an ideal candidate. In answer to your question, Harvard University Professors do not wear black gowns “like in Hogwarts” when teaching. Even if we did hold to that tradition, one would most certainly be required to wear other clothing beneath the gowns. Furthermore, yes we do intensive background checks on our staff. And although you allude to several misdemeanors that were later dropped from your records, and an acquittal for felony charges, those incidents would indeed have put any serious applicant in jeopardy of being approved for tenure. Quite honestly, the Committee was appalled at finding over sixty spelling and grammar errors in a cover letter that was under five hundred words. We have seen better letters from Special Needs Students applying for our summer workshops. The Committee feels you are by no means qualified or competent to fulfill any teaching position without prior counseling by a psychologist and notification of such teaching activity to local police authorities. We wish you the best in further pursuits, as long as they have nothing to do with education. Sincerely, Charles Gainsworth P.S. We are letting you know that any further contact with me, or anyone else on the Academic Selection Committee, will result in a restraining order. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/16 "2014-02-09T02:54:38Z")
Cracked up at your latest shilling attempt. Bought the book. Started laughing as soon as I started reading it. The hyperbole is over the top and you do it so well. Good job and I hope you get rich and famous and I can tell people that I knew you back when. Now stop posting on the web and start writing the next book!!! ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/free-book-and-help-a-fellow-doper-by-reading-it/673564/17 "2014-02-14T04:45:22Z")
Do you like snark? Of course you do, you are a Doper. Do you like hyperbole? Do you like constant action and a fast moving story that you can’t put down? Well, if so…BUY THIS BOOK!!! But, if you do buy the book, don’t read the preview of Fool’s Gold lest you become like me and want to start nagging **DMark** to stop messing around on the web and go back to finishing the second book. Honestly, this book is so out of my normal genre that I was doubtful. I’m so happy that I got the chance to read it. Its a fun book and I’ll be one of the first to order the deadtree edition when its released.