Since I am perfect (shh, quit your giggling) I cannot have any bugs.
Since I cannot have any bugs, I cannot have free will.
Since I do not have free will, I have to post this against my will. Thanks for enslaving me 
I think he means that no matter what I do, the outcome will be a tuna sandwich*.
Not that we are aware of, but it would be very interesting to conceive of one. Perhaps you can recommend one?
Excellent reasoning, and thank you. Let me add to that the perspective of the free will delusion as a meme that works differently on different levels. It’s function as a meme is to create a conflict or insolvable dilemma in the system, causing cognitive dissonance and forcing the system to attempt to either transcend, integrate or repress the dissonance. Looking at it from this perspectives, even parasites in an eco system are appreciated because they contribute to diversity, development and the fight/flight/freeze response that is needed for the game to start. Basically us non-parasites are running away from the parasites, and by doing so we end up getting where we were going anyway.
Also, I did not enslave you, I created you out of myself and decided to have a little fun. If you’re disappointed in your experience you only have yourself to blame.
I disagree that no one can predict the actions of another. Ask me the right questions (“Are you hungry?” “What did you have for dinnner last night?” “Are you counting calories today or are you in the mood to pig out?”) and you can make a good prediction about whether I’m going to choose pizza or a salad for lunch. Hell, just stalk me for awhile. It won’t take long for you to predict everything from when I go to the toilet to what my favorite colors are. I’m a very predictable person. Most people are.
It’s not that we can’t predict the actions of other people. It’s that you need a lot of information to develop a good model to explain any particular person’s behavior–and that information can’t be acquired wth our current technology. We can’t look at a person and know what their behavioral propensities, conditioned/learned responses, unconscious associations are. If we had the technology to measure these things, I am certain that we’d be expert prognosticators.
In sum:
Free will is a subject acting on an object.
The predicate of a fundamental subject/object division is not a sound one.
See under Cosmic Consciousness.
Y’know, Scientology makes that same claim of universal compatibility to new recruits. Interesting claim to make, seeing as how most religions aren’t even compatible with each other.
Just sit quietly and stare at the chicken. Every time you think about eating the chicken allow the thought to pass. Keep staring until you reach access consciousness. Then keep staring. Closely examine the feeling of wanting to eat the chicken, see the impermanence of the feeling of hunger, and try to locate the person who hungers. Eventually you will find the distinction between yourself and the chicken fades away. At that point you cannot see yourself as a separate actor acting upon the chicken when the chicken eating happens spontaneously.
The chicken might be a bit smelly by then.
We? I thought we were talking about some personal religio/philosophy that popped into your own head? What is the name of your group, and who is included in it?
Christianity, for one. I suspect Islam, too. The OP’s system is largely bog-standard New Age beliefs, with pseudo-scientific wrappings added. See below.
Thank you, beloved, hope you are doing well. Very nice analogy by the way. Namaste. 
I suspect the “compatibility” is based on a lack of in-depth knowledge of any system but his own.
I thought Free Willy was a whale, not a bug.
Zen meditation in the Buddha-way will eventually lead to a state of enlightenment, or satori, in which the dualism of chicken and tuna is negated. One comes to realize the epistemological essence of your dilemma need not be framed dualistically, for you become aware of a universal truth: it is not for nothing that albacore tuna is called “the chicken of the sea”. This revelation creates a state of oneness, or samdhic, that renders it unnecessary to make a choice.
…and the cosmic realization that it all tastes like chicken, more or less.
I believe the OP is the same person who self-medicates with LSD and other powerful hallucinogenics. Perhaps this is irrelevant here, perhaps not.
I’m not updated on the teachings of Scientology, but my impression is that it is a Blue level sect that basically has access to some more advanced psycho/spiritual methods that can (somewhat) alter peoples state of consciousness etc. But yes, on a superficial level there are definitely some overlaps.
All religions are essentially blue level, since they are pre-rational, what we are looking for here is to create a meme that is healthy. Our version of a religious meme would try to improve on the lower levels (give the “barbarians” some good rules to follow) and at the same time focus on developing the cognitive toolkit as fast as possible so that the person can move to a higher (Orange) level that allows for rational thought.
The US right now is very interesting because it has such a diverse level of ego developments in its administrative area. Basically the full spectrum is represented from Red to Green, with Blue and Orange being the dominant levels. Seen from this perspective the US is now attempting to move up to level Green by electing Bernie Sanders (social democracy is a Green invention), having been traditionally been run by a mix of Blue (Religious conservatives) and Orange (Rationalist capitalists).
Science? Rational thought?
For instance, starting with sentence one:
Please cite one piece of objective evidence suggesting that this is true.
Yes religions are Purple and Blue with occasional outbreaks of Yellow and Turquoise, which the Purples and Blues immediately try to kill, and the Oranges just badmouth, muttering about hallucinations and drugs, and sticking their chin out all smug.
…As opposed to the people proselytzing their religion, which divides people into “levels” based on how closely one adheres to their beliefs and their values. Nothing smug about that, no sir.