# French bed talk help **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160 "2010-02-16T03:42:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Genericuser234](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5daacb/32.png) [@Genericuser234](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genericuser234)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/1 "2010-02-16T03:42:09Z")
Hey all, I need to know some good french phrases to say in french well in bed with someone. Don’t ask why. I know very little french, so I would appreciate the help. Thanks in advance. Wish me luck 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/2 "2010-02-16T03:51:08Z")
Tu as une belle chatte. Je voudrais te baiser. (I’m not French, but back in high school, if I’m correct, these were always good for a laugh). ---
**Author:** ![Genericuser234](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5daacb/32.png) [@Genericuser234](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genericuser234)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/3 "2010-02-16T03:54:52Z")
Sorry, I should have been more clear. I want lovey sweet things to say and what they mean. ---
**Author:** ![Omphaloskeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bcef8e/32.png) [@Omphaloskeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omphaloskeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/4 "2010-02-16T04:14:31Z")
“Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles.” ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/5 "2010-02-16T04:32:31Z")
> [@marochko](#): > > Sorry, I should have been more clear. I want lovey sweet things to say and what they mean. Well, you can never go wrong with “Je t’aime” (“I love you”)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/6 "2010-02-16T04:39:17Z")
You don’t want to be telling a bunch of one night flings that you love them, and filling their little French hearts with false hope. “Cigarette” is a French word, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/7 "2010-02-16T04:41:04Z")
> [@Omphaloskeptic](#): > > “Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles.” Of course, half the time it will result in a punch in the face, but the other half…hoo boy! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/8 "2010-02-16T04:51:37Z")
There’s always the classic “vos lobes d’oreilles sont comme tetes de poisson.”. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/9 "2010-02-16T05:01:01Z")
If you’re with a guy, I suspect “J’ai perdu mes dents” would be greeted with enthusiasm. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/10 "2010-02-16T05:01:15Z")
It would help to know whether the object of your affections is from France, Quebec, Belgium, etc. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/11 "2010-02-16T05:31:16Z")
So, you’re the one from that Google ad during the Super Bowl, right? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/12 "2010-02-16T07:00:17Z")
You could always burst into song with “Non, je ne regrette rien”. ---
**Author:** ![Sofis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Sofis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofis)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/13 "2010-02-16T07:12:17Z")
I asked my girlfriend (who is French), and we came up with some phrases. If you’re looking for something different, perhaps you could post some examples of the kinds of things you’d like to say? “Je t’aime mon amour” = “I love you, my love” “oh oui, encore” = “oh yes, again” “tu es magnifique” = “you’re wonderful” “c’est si bon” = “that’s so good” “Tu es très jolie” = “You are very beautiful” “Je pourrais me noyer dans tes yeux” = “I could drown in your eyes” “embrasse-moi” = “kiss me” “J’aime quand tu fais ça” = “I like it when you do that” “Je te veux tellement” = “I want you so much” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/14 "2010-02-16T07:33:00Z")
Tu as été merveilleuse, mon petit chou. - You were wonderful, my little cabbage. It’s OK to call her a cabbage! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/15 "2010-02-16T07:42:25Z")
Va-te faire enculer avec un chameau dans la tente du bédouin. ---
**Author:** ![Sizzles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@Sizzles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sizzles)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/16 "2010-02-16T11:12:13Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > Tu as été merveilleuse, mon petit chou. - You were wonderful, my little cabbage. It’s OK to call her a cabbage! I think chou in this context means a pastry, as in ‘my little cream puff’ ---
**Author:** ![Waffle\_Decider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/77aa72/32.png) [@Waffle\_Decider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waffle_Decider)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/17 "2010-02-16T13:34:53Z")
Hope this [quick French lesson](http://failblog.org/2008/08/25/french-lesson-fail/) helps. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/18 "2010-02-16T14:46:09Z")
I would much appreciate an English translation for the French phrases used here. My thanks to those who have already done so. ---
**Author:** ![Anaglyph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Anaglyph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaglyph)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/19 "2010-02-16T15:08:33Z")
In the book [“Merde!: The Real French You Were Never Taught at School”](http://www.amazon.com/Merde-French-Never-Taught-School/dp/0684854279/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b) there is a chapter on “The weighty matters of love and sex” ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160/20 "2010-02-16T15:18:17Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > I would much appreciate an English translation for the French phrases used here. My thanks to those who have already done so. For \*“Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles.” \* you should think Monty Python and Hungarian. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-bed-talk-help/529160.md?page=2)