# French speakers, help! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 27, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553 "2001-11-27T18:47:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/1 "2001-11-27T18:47:31Z")
I recieved the following email at one of my lesser-used accounts: > [@](#): > > Salut , > > Essaye de voir si tu as ce que je cherchais (on en a parlé hier). Et si > tu > pouvais me rendre un grand service…Appeler Sophie pour lui dire que > demain soir je ne pourrai pas venir ☹ snif je suis vraiment désolée > mais mon mari a une réunion et je dois l’accompagner…Aaaaah les joies du > travail je te > jure ! > > Pour te consoler, tu peux toujours te balader sur > [http://www.fseule.com](http://www.fseule.com), y’a de jolies chinoises comme tu les aimes > (cochon !) ;))) AltaVista’s translator informs me that this means: > [@](#): > > Hello, Try to see whether you have what I sought (one spoke about it yesterday). And if you could render to me a great service… Appeler Sophie for him to say that tomorrow evening I will not be able to come: ( snif I am really sorry but my husband holds a meeting and I must accompany it… Aaaaah the joys by work I swear you! To comfort you, you can always trott yourself on [fseule.com](http://fseule.com), y’ has pretty Chinese as you like them (pig!) I think I understood the French better. Can someone actually tell me what the hell this thing means? Did I get porno-spam in French, and not realize it? There was only the one link, which I haven’t clicked out of fear. What should this email read? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/2 "2001-11-27T18:52:58Z")
It says: Dear SuperDude: I am a worm who resides in your green horseshoes. The pig dances under a shelf, my nose is a radish. Liquid Paper is an aphrodisiac. I desire road-runner cartoons under a full moon, hot beef sandwiches on sex, a liquid duck. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/3 "2001-11-27T18:58:56Z")
It’s porno spam. They’re trying to get you to their Web site. My translation is: Hi – try and see if you have what I was looking for (we talked about it yesterday). And, can you do me a big favor. Call Sophie and tell her that tomorrow night I can’t come. I am really sorry but my husband has a meeting and I have to go with him. Aaaaah, the joys of working, I swear! If you want to make yourself feel better, you can always pop over to (Web address), there’s lot of those pretty Chinese girls that you love, pig! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/4 "2001-11-27T19:00:13Z")
(damn simulpost) Without doing a word-for-word translation, the accompanying text is in the form of a E-mail from a woman who is asking you to contact someone named Sophie, as the writer of the note must attend a meeting with her husband and cannot show up tonight (for the planned threesome with you and Sophie, apparently). Instead, she suggests that you head over to the linked site. Yeah, right. I get stuff like this from time to time; gotta wonder why the spammers don’t filter out US-based domains from their lists. Oh, and that A-V translator sux, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/5 "2001-11-27T19:00:53Z")
Thanks, **missbunny**. 😃 **Ginger** , you’re a poopyhead. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/6 "2001-11-27T19:02:57Z")
My rough translation: Hi, Try to see if you have what I’ve been looking for (we talked about it yesterday). And if you can do me a big favor… Call Sophie and tell her that I can’t come tomorrow night. ::snif:: I’m really sorry but my husband has a meeting and I have to go with him. (Aaaah, the joys of work, I swear!) To console yourself, you can always trot over to [website] - they have pretty Chinese girls like you like (pig)! Sounds like you got yourself some French porno spam! ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/7 "2001-11-27T19:04:12Z")
Also looks like I ought to preview and check for new replies before I hit submit! ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/8 "2001-11-27T19:08:35Z")
Well, it does have that porno-spam vibe to it, especially if you don’t actually know who Sophie is, or what you and this other guy’s wife would be doing with her tomorrow night… here’s my highly gist-y and rusty interpretation: Hello, Try to see if you have what I was looking for (the thing we spoke about yesterday). And if you could, do me a favor…call Sophie and tell her I won’t be able to come tomorrow evening. (_sniff_ I’m very sorry, but my husband has a meeting and I must go with him…ah, I swear, the joys of work!) As a consolation (“comfort” is good too) go on over to [http://www.com](http://www.com), there are pretty Chinese just like you like (pig!) Too bad she has to go with her hubby, or the lot of y’all (I’m not sure, but I don’t think her husband is in on it) could have had some fun. Oh, well…you’ll just have to make do with web porn… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/9 "2001-11-27T19:11:59Z")
!Salut , Hello, !Essaye de voir si tu as ce que je cherchais (on en a parlé hier). Try to see if you have what I’m looking for (we talked about this yesterday) !Et si tu pouvais me rendre un grand service…Appeler Sophie pour lui dire que demain soir je ne pourrai pas venir ☹ And if you could do me a big favor … Call Sophie to tell her that tomorrow night I can’t (won’t be able to) come ☹ !snif je suis vraiment désolée mais mon mari a une réunion et je dois l’accompagner… _sniff_ I am truly sorry but my husband has a meeting and I have to go with him… !Aaaaah les joies du travail je te jure ! Oh, the joys of work, I swear! !Pour te consoler, tu peux toujours te balader sur [http://www.fseule.com](http://www.fseule.com), y’a de jolies chinoises comme tu les aimes (cochon !) ;))) To comfort you, you can always take a stroll on [this website]; there are the kind of Chinese beauties you love (pig!) \*Damnit, I never get to these first! ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/10 "2001-11-27T19:17:27Z")
_ahem_ That would be tete-merde, **Superdood**. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/11 "2001-11-27T19:21:05Z")
I love it when you talk dirty like that, **Ginger** …🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/12 "2001-11-27T19:22:49Z")
Wow…threesome with **Sophie**? That may be too much for mortal men to handle, but not **Superdude**. Okay, so the French chick is out. Lousy husband (boy, I’ve been saying that a lot this weekend…[sub]grumble grumble[/sub]). Oh, well. At least me and **Sophie** get to…um…you know. I get to throw it in her. ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/13 "2001-11-27T19:22:58Z")
Aieeeeee! Francophones! Run for your lives! They’re everywhere! heh. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/14 "2001-11-27T19:32:23Z")
I don’t get anything about a threesome in there. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/15 "2001-11-27T19:37:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by missbunny \* > \*\*I don’t get anything about a threesome in there. 😕 \*\* It’s implied. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/16 "2001-11-27T19:38:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by missbunny \* > \*\*I don’t get anything about a threesome in there. 😕 \*\* There wasn’t anything specifically stated, but I inferred it from the thing about calling Sophie and saying that what’s-her-name couldn’t make it. That was just wishful thinking, I guess. :Sigh: ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/17 "2001-11-27T19:41:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*I love it when you talk dirty like that, **Ginger** …🙂 \*\* Oh GREAT. Now I have to go wash my brain. Thanks, **punha**. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/18 "2001-11-27T19:45:26Z")
so…has anyone checked out that link yet? 😛 I’ve only gotten chinese and german porn spam. Poor me. I don’t read either. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-speakers-help/95553/19 "2001-11-27T19:47:50Z")
I don’t see where it’s implied. Maybe because the original AltaVista translation said, “Call Sophie for him to say that . . . "; however, this is a mistranslation. “Appeler Sophie pour lui dire que . . . ” means “Call Sophie in order to tell her that . . . ,” not “Call Sophie \* for him\* to say that . . . .” Or maybe it’s just that I am sweet and innocent and porno spam just flies right over my head. Yes, I’m sure that’s it.