# French Ticklers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 9, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467 "2001-11-09T17:14:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/1 "2001-11-09T17:14:28Z")
A. Yes B. No C. Oiu, Oiu!! D. What the hell is on my/your pee-pee! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/2 "2001-11-09T17:38:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PolishSausage \* > \*\*A. Yes > B. No > C. Oiu, Oiu!! > D. What the hell is on my/your pee-pee! \*\* Que? ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/3 "2001-11-09T17:51:28Z")
Sorry C. Oui, oui!!! ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/4 "2001-11-09T18:47:17Z")
Mais, regarde Thierry! C’est une capote Anglaise! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/5 "2001-11-09T18:53:57Z")
The french language is enough in and of itself to turn on the Mrs. “Je t’aime! Je t’aime! Maintenant fait le bruit du cochon!” I whisper into her ear, and it puts her in a frenzy. Fortunately for me, she doesn’t speak french. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/6 "2001-11-09T19:08:49Z")
I’m so innocent, and I’ve been wondering about this since I was 13, and I don’t want to ask any of my friends 'cause they’re still laughing at me for asking what a golden shower was in ninth grade (“Geez, Kristen–can’t you use context clues in that one?”), but I need to know. . . what is a French tickler? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/7 "2001-11-09T20:03:07Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\* Maintenant fait le bruit du cochon!_\* You’re sick. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/8 "2001-11-09T20:12:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl \* > \*\* what is a French tickler? \*\* I believe it has to do with prophylactic accoutrements, but they laughed at me in the ninth grade, too. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/9 "2001-11-10T00:06:38Z")
I just have to say the thread title **French Tickler** started by **PolishSausage** has got to be one of the best title/poster combos I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/10 "2001-11-10T00:22:40Z")
This is my only French tickler story: I’m taking this class on linguistics. The prof is working on an article on the use of the word “French” in unpleasent or disreputable terms. Like “in French costume” = naked “to visit the French king” = to get piss drunk “French disease” = VD “French letter” = condom and so on. She asked if we knew any other examples. Some people made a few suggestions. Then somebody called out, “What about a French tickler?” About half the class burst out laughing. The other half smiled & looked confused cos they knew that was something sexual, but they weren’t sure exactly what. The prof grinned. “I don’t know that one.” The class kept snickering. “What? What is it?” Judging from the classes reaction she knew it must be something good. One student finally managed to croak out, “It’s, um, it’s a ‘maritial aide’.” The prof’s face lit up. “Oh!” she exclaimed, “You mean a dildo!” And the entire class burst out laughing again, at the concept of this cute little old woman being so excited about a dildo. And the moral of my story is that I don’t know what exactly a French tickler is either but I’m sure as hell curious to find out. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/11 "2001-11-10T00:31:17Z")
\*\* B \*\* I don’t like 'em. For me there is more discomfort than pleasure involved in using one. ---
**Author:** ![Caldazar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Caldazar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caldazar)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/12 "2001-11-10T02:11:10Z")
According to some online sex shops, it’s apparently a textured sleeve that fits over the penis to heighten stimulation during sex, usually for the benefit of the woman. Yeah, sue me, I didn’t know what it was either. And as for the OP, I’d have to say, given my ignorance, D. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/13 "2001-11-12T02:06:52Z")
[http://theadultstore.com/French\_Ticklers.htm](http://theadultstore.com/French_Ticklers.htm) Never tried one, but it looks pretty uncomfortable to me. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Maximino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@Mighty\_Maximino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Maximino)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/14 "2001-11-12T03:30:15Z")
There was a joke in a Lewis Grizzard book: A kid walks up to a pharmacist back in the day when teenage boys were afraid to purchase condoms openly, and brazenly asks for a box of French Ticklers. The pharmacist fixes the boy with a steely gaze and says, “Boy, don’t you know what those will do to a woman?” The young man replies, “No sir, but it’ll make a goat jump six feet in the air.” I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread. (They look uncomfortable as anything to me . . .) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/15 "2001-11-12T05:45:17Z")
E. Don’t bother. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/16 "2001-11-12T06:32:12Z")
Back before the sexual revolution, french ticklers were outlawed and we only had a vague idea of what they were for. I was in college and as a sophamore I had gone thru our fraternity’s “Hell Week”. One thing the pledges had to do during the week was to find certain items on a list. A couple of pledges asked me to help them with where and how to get the items. Of course a french tickler was on the list. I told them to get a regular rubber (that’s all we ever called them) and glue a feather to one. One of the pledges was a regular guy so he checked it off, but the other was what we called a straight arrow. A couple of days later Frank came to me laughing and said “You won’t believe what Rusty did.” The college was secluded in the hills of Tennessee with no drugstore in town, but there was a pharmacy of sorts at the supply store. Rusty had gone in there and asked the matronly woman for a french tickler. She got all embarrassed and told him they didn’t carry such a thing. Rusty said “Oh well, give me a regualar one and I’ll glue a feather to it.” I’m not sure if she fainted or not. **Mighty Maximino** reckon how many here have ever read Lewis Grizzard? ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/17 "2001-11-12T11:14:20Z")
The trick is to turn them inside-out before you put them on. ---
**Author:** ![milo\_minderbinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@milo\_minderbinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milo_minderbinder)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2001, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/18 "2001-11-12T13:19:26Z")
I think I might own one of these! On holiday in the Lake District 2 years ago there was, and I swear this is absolutely true, a _vending machine_ in the toilet of a local pub which sold these. :eek: After a fair amount of stunned blinking I ponied up my quid for one and returned to the bar to covertly inspect my purchase. It was hideous. Imagine the finger of a marigold rubber glove but bigger, **thicker** , a vile shade of fleshy pink, covered in protuberant nodules and liberaly dusted with talcum powder. I was game, but sadly my S.O at the the time blanched at the prospect of trying it out, so it was stashed away amongst all the other crap I have no immediate use for but can’t quite bring myself to part with. Time for a rummage methinks, if I find it I’ll let you know. milo ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/19 "2001-11-13T01:04:52Z")
From the female point of view…if I wanted to have sex with someone whose winky had nubbly spikes on it, I’d find myself a tomcat. Ribbed condoms hit me about the same way…I keep looking at them and thinking about the noise corduroy pants make. zzzzooop, zzzzooop, zzzzooop… Corr ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467/20 "2001-11-13T01:10:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corrvin \* > \*\* > > zzzzooop, zzzzooop, zzzzooop… > \*\* I had to answer this thread…excuse me, I’m sick… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/french-ticklers/92467.md?page=2)