# Friend Advice **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 26, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846 "2010-03-26T04:45:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/1 "2010-03-26T04:45:55Z")
I’m pretty good friends with an ex of mine (A). Last week she was working (server), figured she’d have a ton of free time, and I could come, read, and chat when she wasn’t actively busy. Another of her friends (B) was there too. It turned out to be really busy (didn’t talk with A at all for the hour I was there), so B and I took off, to meet up with A when her shift was over. A and B also dated in the past. A couple days later, B e-mails me, just mundane things. I comment to A that I found it odd. A doesn’t think so. Tuesday B asks me to hang out, I accept, we play some board games and grab dinner. I talk to A about it later and she’s pissed. My question is why? She hasn’t been in the talking mood. She mentioned something about jealousy. Does that sound like a reasonable thing? I don’t pick up on social cues very well (No, not a sdmb poster…) Of the two people I asked, one didn’t see why she’d be mad, and the other did, but is really bad at explaining things. So, am I an idiot, or is my friend nuts? ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/2 "2010-03-26T05:19:49Z")
I might be able to give some insight from her angle. One time, I dumped my current girlfriend to start seeing another girl. That lasted about a week. Right after that, they started hanging out and becoming friends. I didn’t like it because I didn’t know what in the world they were talking about. I for sure didn’t hang out when they invited me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/3 "2010-03-26T12:25:40Z")
Are you and B candidates to date? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/4 "2010-03-26T13:48:02Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Are you and B candidates to date? That’s my question. I’m not sure what the genders or preferences are from the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/5 "2010-03-26T15:52:53Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Are you and B candidates to date? I’m male and she’s female, but no. Not just a no, but a “fuck no.” A knows this too. ---
**Author:** ![breaking-reality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a8b319/32.png) [@breaking-reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breaking-reality)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/6 "2010-03-26T15:55:29Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > I’m male and she’s female, but no. Not just a no, but a “fuck no.” A knows this too. Maybe A thinks you are leading B on? ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/7 "2010-03-26T16:06:41Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > I’m male and she’s female, but no. Not just a no, but a “fuck no.” A knows this too. Does B know this? Maybe A is worried that B will get the wrong idea, then there will be drama, then she will have to listen to it … some people prefer that their friends and/or their exes stay in neater compartments. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/8 "2010-03-26T16:37:27Z")
B knows. We’re both very clear that there’s no relationship there. I’ve been told that they don’t want the mixing, why? A has invited B and me together to social gatherings dozens of times. We’ve hung out in her presence many many times over the course of years. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/9 "2010-03-26T17:11:49Z")
My guess would be that A is worried that you two will become buddies and won’t call her as often, and she’ll become Wheel 3. Did either of you call A on Tuesday when you were meeting up? But really I don’t think there’s enough info to go on. I think you just have to ask her directly what’s up, and if you have but she won’t tell you then no point in wasting your energy worrying about it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/10 "2010-03-26T17:59:28Z")
See, this is why your exes should be your EXES - as in, former. Much simpler. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/11 "2010-03-26T18:06:48Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > A and B also dated in the past. So A and B are bisexual? ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-advice/533846/12 "2010-03-26T18:26:13Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > So A and B are bisexual? A is. B… well, I guess so. She’s never dated men, but she’ll sleep with them on occasion. That’s more that she’s bored and doesn’t care though, I think. Neither of us talked to A before B and I met up. A was aware that B and I were e-mailing each other. Jealousy sounds like the likely culprit, but I think A’s reaction is a bit strong for that. So, do I have something to apologize for if that’s the case? Should I run something like that by her beforehand? Would the same be true if B and I hadn’t dated A?