# Friend is a conspiracy theorist- how to deal? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 26, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323 "2013-10-26T19:09:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/21 "2013-10-27T17:39:04Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Say to your friend: “Listen, I don’t like talking about any conspiracies. I can’t do anything about them, nor would I, even to save the nation-I already have too much on my plate. How about we don’t talk about them, OK?” > Also, see the last two paragraphs of **Trinopus** ’ #12 post. This is essentially what I did with my conspiracy theorist friend. Yep, he believed 'em all: Illuminati, chem trails, George Soros and the Rothchilds controlling the banks, FEMA concentration camps, etc., etc., etc. I finally told him that it upset me to talk about it and when he started, I’d just look distressed and ask him to stop. Fortunately, he’s a very kind-hearted man and learned not to mention it, but it was hard for him. These beliefs were his whole life, populated his every thought. We couldn’t talk about what to order in a restaurant without it triggering some conspiracy-related idea: the government was turning us into drones with additives in chicken feed, yadda, yadda. I feel for you. It’s very hard to be friends with these people, who are often really good and kind inside. ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/22 "2013-10-28T02:49:38Z")
I wonder what would happen if you invented even wilder and more unlikely conspiracies. I mean if you played, “I can top that!” maybe it would fade the behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/23 "2013-10-28T03:29:27Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > She is anti-sugar-free What? Is this a typo? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/24 "2013-10-28T03:35:03Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What? Is this a typo? I’m assuming she means anti-“sugar-free” to mean that “sugar-free” suggests artificial sweeteners, and there are certainly a host of people out there who are very much anti-artificial sweeteners. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/25 "2013-10-28T03:43:15Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Just tell him, “Shut the fuck up. We have no idea whose listening in to this. Are you crazy openly talking about this? How long do you think they’ll let us live if they find out what you know? Never mention this stuff again! Never!” > [@Marion\_Wormer](#): > > I wonder what would happen if you invented even wilder and more unlikely conspiracies. I mean if you played, “I can top that!” maybe it would fade the behavior. Yep, with crazy conspiracy people the only rhetorical technique that works is to take them down the rabbit hole even further till even they begin to back off. Sometimes mockery is the only solution (even if they aren’t in on the joke). I’ve seen it work well (and generate a heller volume of fun) on these boards. Generate some even whacker conspiracy ideas (or start a thread and get some help with dreaming things up) and then just top his conspiracy ideas with your own. You won’t have any evidence for your theories, but neither does he. If he starts disbelieving, point out his hypocrisy and insist he accept your conspiracies like he asks you to do. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/26 "2013-10-28T03:53:53Z")
I got stuck in a waiting room with a conspiracy believer. This one was the Government is murdering / disappearing people they don’t like. His proof was “There is no evidence! They’re covering it up!” I say when the major proof of something is the fact that there is no proof of it, it’s time to tell the receptionist “Here’s my cell number. I’m going to step outside for a smoke. Call me when they’re ready for me.” [http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-is-the-government-spying-on-paranoid-s,14177/](http://www.theonion.com/video/in-the-know-is-the-government-spying-on-paranoid-s,14177/) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/27 "2013-10-28T08:34:28Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Yep, with crazy conspiracy people the only rhetorical technique that works is to take them down the rabbit hole even further till even they begin to back off. Sometimes mockery is the only solution (even if they aren’t in on the joke). A friend of mine, another former psych nurse, uses this in real life an awful lot. He recommends treating people’s editorial comments as if they are real. Say, in a meeting someone says, “I think management is crazy to suggest we do that,” Tony will ask, “What, certifiably crazy? Should we try to schedule them? Get the police here?” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/28 "2013-10-28T17:23:46Z")
I’ve got a friend who’s big into Alex Jones, 9/11 Truther stuff, and whackier beliefs. He’s also a really friendly, funny guy who’d give you the shirt off his back. Mostly, I just laugh off his ideas. Occasionally, I’ll ask him to put is ideas in an email and send them to me, so I can have the chance to think about them before I reply. Then I’d go over them, and debunk them as neutrally as I could. I don’t think I ever changed his mind about a conspiracy theory, but I did eventually change his mind about discussing them with me. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/29 "2013-10-28T17:48:06Z")
> [@knel3030](#): > > Whats interesting/ disturbing about conspiracy theorists is how all the conspiracy theories seem to get together in their head and start to form this intertwined narrative. One such theory, if nutty enough, is commonly accompanied by others, according to the doctrine of [crank magnetism](http://scienceblogs.com/denialism/2007/06/28/crank-magnetism-1/). These people are fearful, paranoid, outright demented and/or just incapable of logical reasoning.\* Someone who’s into multiple conspiracy beliefs cannot be convinced otherwise short of medication. \*and they have disposable income, or else Jesse Ventura would not have a book on the New York Times bestseller list about the Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy/Coverup. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/30 "2013-10-28T17:49:54Z")
My husband is an ardent conspiracy theorist (he believes that there are aliens living on the moon). Before you imagine him with 4 teeth and a mullet, he’s a really athletic Indian engineer who earns a shitload of money and just got into Columbia for an MBA. I’m STILL not sure whether he’s just messing with me but I asked my brother-in-law once and he very hesitantly replied with “He has…always had…interesting beliefs.” (this is what happens when you get married in your 30s, all the non conspiracy theorists are all snatched up) I’ve learned to put him on mental mute. I don’t even bother trying to debunk him. What’s the point? He brings the pretty, he’s otherwise normal and is really good at physics and math, we manage our money together well and have a good life. He keeps his scoffing over my and my family’s religiousness to a low, so we’re pretty well matched I’d say. If you like this guy otherwise, just deflect or ignore. ---
**Author:** ![Obnoxious\_Hood\_Ornament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Obnoxious\_Hood\_Ornament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obnoxious_Hood_Ornament)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/31 "2013-10-28T20:36:58Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > I had a very good friend who believed in all kinds of things I find laughable, like psychics, alien abduction, and ghosts. I had a friend just like that. I encouraged him to discuss _ideas_ with me, because ideas are what make the brain go round n’ round like God’s hamster wheel, but I let him know that I was a fierce skeptic in all matters supernatural or conspiratorial. That’s the only way I know how to deal with someone who won’t respond to reason. There’s a difference between discussing an idea, and believing it. I try to encourage the former. After a while he gave up trying to convince me, and elected to simply discuss oddities from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/32 "2013-10-28T21:15:44Z")
I’ve only put this tactic to work once, and I have no idea if it worked, but I essentially tried turning a mirror on them and saying “take a good hard look at what you’re saying.” I started by pointing out that conspiracy theorists never believe just _one_ theory. It’s always a multitude of theories, and they rarely outright reject any of them as too crazy to be real. I ask the person if they’ve ever noticed how CTers willfully accept each and every theory that comes their way, regardless of content. Then I make up a theory and see if they buy into it. I then point out a bunch of character flaws for a person that believes something like that. They’re paranoid, arrogant, or whatever. Hopefully the person gets a litte introspective and the whole habit fades away. Hopefully. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/33 "2013-10-30T13:58:48Z")
I have a very dear friend that thinks she was visited by a ghost. Or I should say a ghost visited, or lives in her 160 year old house. She didn’t see it. She has only lived there for 6 months, and there has been only one ‘visit’ so I see no real harm in her belief. She does not dwell on it, and has just mentioned it once to me. The original owner of the house was a judge in a small mountain mining town here in Colorado. So that does up the woo factor a bit. Hanging judge anyone? She is a very intelligent, capable person that has always been a little spiritual. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2013, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/34 "2013-10-30T14:22:26Z")
When he starts to bother you, pull off you human mask and let him see your lizard face. Show him who is boss. ---
**Author:** ![Mowgli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mowgli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mowgli)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/35 "2013-12-03T18:55:23Z")
I am practically in exactly the same situation as yourself!!! I have known this guy for well over 10 years now and have considered him one of my closest friends. Over the years I noticed his circle of friends diminish and him becoming more and more of a recluse. His conspiracy theories became more and more like lectures and he was more like a preacher than a friend!!! he has exactly the same beliefs as yours, telling me that The Royal family and what have you (Illuminate) are all aliens who started their work in Egypt and so on. To be fair there is so much he tells me it is impossible to keep up!! He is very, very passionately driven by such conspiracies that it has completely taken over his life. There are very few people in his life and I truly feel I am his only friend left. I really honestly do not think I could just walk away from our friendship but I can not sit and argue over every conspiracy he has which have all very little facts to back them up! I mean hey I am all for a good conspiracy but this is his life! He feels that everyone needs to wake up and talk about it before its too late! I find it very difficult now to have a conversation about anything else it all comes back to how “that’s us being controlled!” Or “Consumerism” Or “Poison in our water, food and body products” So I too am in need of help and will gladly read other peoples ideas!! Sorry for not helping though! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/36 "2013-12-03T21:30:55Z")
When I joined the family for Thanksgiving I discovered that one of my uncles had become a conspiracy theorist. He’s always been a douche, and I’d been told he was depressed, but it was shocking to see for myself how much he’s changed. He avoided the family as a group, but if anyone got off by themselves he’d pounce and start telling them about who really runs the government, and Obama’s going to take away our cell phones and shit. He’s got religion too, which surprised me because he was the one member of our family who’d not be caught dead in church. Fortunately, I only see him about twice a year, so I guess at Easter I’ll get to see how much more the situation has degraded. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/37 "2013-12-04T07:51:16Z")
May I just comment on the excellent thread title - OP user name combo? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/38 "2013-12-04T08:24:49Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > When he starts to bother you, pull off you human mask and let him see your lizard face. Show him who is boss. Come to the door wearing a pair of [these](http://www.youknowit.com/online-shop/reptile-eyes-contact-lenses.cfm). ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/39 "2013-12-04T15:12:19Z")
I had (past tense) a friend who is a conspiracy theorist. I couldn’t handle it. We had dinner and he was talking about the Boston Bombings and the FBI. Too weird, I couldn’t handle it so I just stopped picking up when he called. ---
**Author:** ![jrsone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jrsone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jrsone)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323/40 "2013-12-04T20:51:55Z")
I love messing with these people. I just repeat exactly what they say and go “Well I’ll be.” and that satiates them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-is-a-conspiracy-theorist-how-to-deal/672323.md?page=3)