Depending on your definition of “hat”, I’m not sure I even own a single hat. I may have a cap or two somewhere but, no I don’t wear hats. Who in the hell wears hats these days? I mean, okay, knitted hats for winter, sure. But like, what, those formal hats you see in 50s films? Hell no.
One per season; a toque for winter and a baseball cap if I need one for the rest of the year. Why do I need more than one hat?
Some of you all are…something.
Who cares how many hats anyone owns? I certainly don’t know nor care how many hats my friends have. And if I really wanted one, I’d bring my own. I’d never ask to borrow a hat. They want to volunteer one? OK. But it’s my fault if I don’t have one, not theirs.
What other things are you judging us on? What color our shovels are? How many zesters we have? Which way the toilet paper rolls?
Some thoughts:
One: People aren’t wearing enough hats.
Two: Matter is energy. In the universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person’s soul. However, this “soul” does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man’s unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.
Are you counting microplanes, which can be used as zesters and more, or only dedicated zesters? Need answer fast.
I have close to 50 hats. Mostly baseball caps. 3-4 wide brimmed hats. A couple of Irish flat caps.
Other than the OP, I don’t think anyone here has taken the position that someone must have a certain number of hats (or caps).
I probably still have in storage the occasional baseball cap from when I was a kid, but I’ve never used a hat as an adult, so I doubt they fit. So I say none.
Granted, I also still have all my hair. That’s usually the point when I notice adults who wear hats, excluding the type who wear cowboy hats.
I look absolutely stupid in a hat. Flipped a random cap onto my head a few times, and that is always the consensus, from both within and from without.
Especially brimmed ball caps - I cannot pull off the look, no matter what I do with the ponytail. That girl-next-door with the hair pulled through? Not me. (I can do the sexy-cute “pencils in bun” thing, apparently. Glasses help.)
OH! It’s the flippin’ glasses! Maybe that’s why hats always look stupid on me. Too many cranial accessories.
(Hat tip to Mitch Hedberg for that one.)
I’ve got about two dozen hats. Most of them are beer-company giveaway baseball caps I got at the local sports bar, which are great for the golf course. A few knitted tuques, of course, for winter, and some cowboy (and cowboy-style) hats. I do live in Alberta, after all. 
My favourite “walkin’ hat” is my Stetson Mountain Sky. Great for a walk in the nearby mountains, or even the local park. Surprisingly warm, too.
Four.
Two hats for winter - one has been rotated to “emergency” backup hat.
Two hats for summer - again, one is now backup.
If you count bike helmets as a hat I’ve got one of those, too.
I probably still have a couple baseball caps around but most I’ve given away because honestly I never wore them much.
I"m trying to thin down my hat collection. I wear hats almost all the time. In winter, generally navy surplus wool watch caps. I also have a thin technical fabric beanie I wear under that when it’s below 15 F or so (and then an insulated hood over the watch cap). My husband wears the same winter hats and has let’s say challenges putting things back where he picked them up from, so we keep a large basket of them near the door. We wear them indoors and out because we keep the thermostat at 60F and the house is old and drafty. In summer, an REI sun fabric hat with a big brim for hiking and outdoor work, and a riding helmet when I ride (I also have various helmet attachments for different weathers). I also have some fancy hats for church, including a wonderful 1920’s style red cloche I got in Vienna at a store with two floors dedicated entirely to handmade hats. And a brown felt Aussie hat I used to wear all the time in coastal Northern California where it is never really warm or really cold but here in New England it’s never the right temperature for one. Plus no one wears cowboy hats here. I do not like to stand out.
One thing I do not have is a ball cap. I don’t understand the point of them as they make anyone wearing one look like a thug or a hick depending on the direction the bill is pointing, they don’t protect your neck, they fly off in a breeze, your hair sticks out in a tuft in back, and in general they supply nothing I need in a hat.
I have … dozens, if we include the medieval/costume ones. But then, I make hats for that. But “mundane” hats, I have 8 or so.
Not one of them is a baseball cap.
And I would not share a hat with anyone I’m not very intimate with, any more than I’d share my pants or bodily fluids. Hygiene, people.
But I wouldn’t judge someone for not having a hat, either. Most people I know don’t wear them when not actually hiking. Which is not ideal in a subtropical Southern Hemisphere country, but they’re all big boys and girls.
Actually, now that I re-read the OP, I see that caps are included in the definition. In that case – I looked around – I own exactly one baseball cap, and it’s a free promotional cap that I got from a photo company. I’m also bald, so I really should have a head covering.
If winter hats are allowed, then I have several of those, plus a bunch that I knitted for myself, my wife, and my kids. (Probably around a dozen.) No brimmed hats or fashion hats or anything like that, though.
Me too!
Off the top of my head…
One from the 1940s
Two from the 1950s
Three from the 1960s.
Two from the late 20th century
Four handmade 1920s reproductions
Two handmade 1940s reproductions
One handmade 1910 reproduction
One beret
Three straw hats
A variety of hats appropriate for shoveling in winter.
No, you aren’t wearing any of them for yardwork.
I do have a ballcap or two around that I could dig up - my husband has a few more, but wearing someone else’s hat is icky - we learned that in elementary school.
So, your friend had enough hats for his needs, and you did not have enough hats for your needs, and somehow this reflects on your friend?
I also have never worn your hat.
One.
I own precisely zero hats, not counting ones that go on lego figures. (Of those I have several hundred.)
Back when I was a teenager I wore baseball caps, and then my head got too big for them. My seamstress mom actually modified one to make it bigger, but it was to no avail. I had little choice but to become hatless.
Yes, I’m aware that if I spent like spending money I could get some sort of fancy hat custom fitted for my ponderous orb, but I don’t really see the point. If it’s too bright out, or too cold, or too rainy, I’ll go inside. (Also when it’s not bright, cold, or rainy, but who’s counting?)
Also, if you offered to loan me a hat that you had previously worn, I would refuse it, and not just because it would perch balanced atop my massive cranium like a sparrow trying to hatch an ostrich. Rather, because ew.