# Friend to hold NYE party same night as mine; invites same people…rude or what? (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 29, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612 "2003-12-29T19:37:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/121 "2003-12-31T19:29:40Z")
So I took everyone’s advice and apologized, and told him that I would love it if he could drop by my party but I did not mind at all if he went to S’s party (and yes I meant every word). So he said, no, he re-evaluated it and he really wants to come to my party the whole time. I said, no, you don’t have to, if you want to go to S’s, that is totally fine, think about it…and he said, no, I really want to be with you. He said he was sorry and he loves me…and I said, no I am sorry, very sorry. So in conclusion, I listened to what you guys had to say (even the mean people) and I apologized, and it all worked out. You were right, I was wrong. Luckily everything turned out a happy ending. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![magog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/fbc32d/32.png) [@magog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magog)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/122 "2003-12-31T19:37:25Z")
Glad it worked out. Even if you showed a deficiency of class on this message board, you showed class in apologizing, and in the grand scheme of things that’s really what counts. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/123 "2003-12-31T20:18:21Z")
Good for you, **ns**! I hope you and B both have a really wonderful time tonight, and I mean that sincerely. Oh, **Rex** , thanks for the compliment. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/124 "2003-12-31T20:18:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nyctea scandiaca \* > **it all worked out.** That is the best possible outcome. I’m glad it turned out that way. Now get out there and party like it’s on sale for $19.99. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/125 "2003-12-31T21:08:09Z")
Very cool, **nyctea** – sounds like you handled the apology just right. I hope y’all can celebrate many new years together. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/126 "2003-12-31T21:22:28Z")
Good for you, nyctea. Happy 2004. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/127 "2003-12-31T22:56:01Z")
Good for you, nyc. Just remember, expectations of others are pre-meditated resentments. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/128 "2003-12-31T23:01:55Z")
That’s a killer quote, **Qadgop** , and so true. Might I adopt that as part of my sig? And I’m glad things worked out with your friend, **N**. Happy New Year. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/129 "2003-12-31T23:33:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > **That’s a killer quote, Qadgop, and so true. Might I adopt that as part of my sig?** Be my guest. I’m not sure of its origin, but I got it from the Al-Anon family groups. ---
**Author:** ![Survivor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/51bf81/32.png) [@Survivor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survivor)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/130 "2003-12-31T23:34:48Z")
NY - Good to hear… ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/131 "2003-12-31T23:46:08Z")
NYC, Good for you for apologizing. I’m glad everything is better between you and **b**. For what it’s worth, I can understand why you were upset. Not that striking out at **b** was the right thing to do–but you understand that now. Years ago, I had a superbowl party. Like you, an acquaintance scheduled another party at the same time. Similarly, my best friend had accepted my invitation only to tell me later that he’d be at my party for the pre game and then go to the other party for the actual game. Yeah, this other person had a bigger TV, a bigger house, and probably better food. But I was still hurt. Not that I was questioning is right to go wherever he wanted–but I was still hurt that he seemed to prefer the better amenities to spending time with me and my group of friends. And, deep down, there was an insecurity that maybe my best friend preferred to spend time with someone other than me. Regardless of the reasons why, it always hurts not to be first choice. And, even though he said he’d be at my party for a while, the fact that he would be at someone else’s party for the game made me wonder if I’d somehow fallen into the status of a lesser friend. Luckily, I never said anything to him in anger. I grumped around my house for a couple hours, till I realized that it was just my insecurity taking control of my emotions again. After regocnizing that, I was able to logically think through the whole thing and realize that his friendship wasn’t demonstrated just by attending one party. It was demonstrated all the times by being there for me when I need help, standing by me when I was in a tough spot, and having fun with me on innumerable occassions. Okay, so he gets swayed by posh amenities for parties. It’s not really such a big deal. We all have our little things that bug our friends from time to time. You probably won’t read this till after your party. I hope you had a wonderful time. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/132 "2004-01-01T00:04:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nyctea scandiaca \* > \*\*So I took everyone’s advice and apologized, and told him that I would love it if he could drop by my party but I did not mind at all if he went to S’s party (and yes I meant every word). > > So he said, no, he re-evaluated it and he really wants to come to my party the whole time. I said, no, you don’t have to, if you want to go to S’s, that is totally fine, think about it…and he said, no, I really want to be with you. > > He said he was sorry and he loves me…and I said, no I am sorry, very sorry. > > So in conclusion, I listened to what you guys had to say (even the mean people) and I apologized, and it all worked out. You were right, I was wrong. Luckily everything turned out a happy ending. Thank you. \*\* Well that was wrapped up purdy and nice, just like a Brady Bunch episode. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/133 "2004-01-02T04:54:07Z")
Okay, so did you get your smooch? I personally ended up drinking champagne while talking on the phone to my intended smoochee…pathetic, I know, but we’re old…er, older! So how did the party go? What was everyone wearing? Was the bar crowded? Did B get a smooch from anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/134 "2004-01-02T16:54:58Z")
I got the most wonderful smooch ever right at midnight! Then I proceeded to kiss everyone else in our group, including B, and a couple of other Dopers who attended. Yes B got many kisses at midnight, including another invitee, who happens to be my cousin, who B says he is in love with now 😉 Yes, she’s a girl! The bar was not too crowded and everyone said they had a wonderful time. **Footnote:** It turns out that S cancelled her party at the last minute, because not enough people responded (I think she announced her party too late and everyone else already had plans). So she and her roommates ended up bar-hopping in Old Town Alexandria, which is something none of us would have wanted to do anyway, so it all turned out for the best. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/135 "2004-01-02T17:09:32Z")
A bunch of _other_ dopers? So **B** is a doper too? No wonder he “suddenly” had a change of heart… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/136 "2004-01-02T17:17:11Z")
No, B is not a Doper…opps, sorry if that was confusing. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/137 "2004-01-02T17:41:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nyctea scandiaca \* > \*\*] It turns out that S cancelled her party at the last minute, because not enough people responded (I think she announced her party too late and everyone else already had plans). So she and her roommates ended up bar-hopping in Old Town Alexandria, which is something none of us would have wanted to do anyway, so it all turned out for the best. \*\* I’m really glad it turned out fine in the end, but I have to point out that had you just accepted **B’s** proposal with good grace in the first place none of this would have ever happened. Sometimes it pays to be a bit more relaxed about things like this as very often it all falls into place in the end. Happy noo year by the way, hope this year brings you a lot less drama. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612/138 "2004-01-02T17:43:35Z")
Ah, I see. Thanks for clarifying **N**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-to-hold-nye-party-same-night-as-mine-invites-same-people-rude-or-what-long/221612.md?page=6)