# Friend w cancer. Should i inform his estranged daughter? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899 "2012-12-23T04:52:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899/101 "2013-01-02T20:44:49Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > and nobody gives a fuck what you think, least of all me. Letting someone’s parent die without notifying them IS A DICK MOVE, end of story. You are perfectly free to give or retain all the fucks you wish, but here on this message board, people are free to express their opinions on matters drawn to their attention. So you will kindly keep your insulting directives to yourself, or take them to the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Mgalindo13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea5d25/32.png) [@Mgalindo13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mgalindo13)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899/102 "2013-01-02T21:41:07Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > Except that they were in regular contact until the kids were out of college. Abuse is doubtful. Most children of abusers don’t cut off contact until they are older because they haven’t emotionally digested what occurred to them yet. If you read up on abuse you’ll see that this is very often the case, it fits a very observable pattern. > [@al27052](#): > > and nobody gives a fuck what you think, least of all me. This board is IMHO, it’s specifically made for discussing opinions/thoughts. Your vulgarity implies you have no ability to defend your position. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899/103 "2013-01-02T22:13:53Z")
> [@Mgalindo13](#): > > Most children of abusers don’t cut off contact until they are older because they haven’t emotionally digested what occurred to them yet. If you read up on abuse you’ll see that this is very often the case, it fits a very observable pattern. > > This board is IMHO, it’s specifically made for discussing opinions/thoughts. Your vulgarity implies you have no ability to defend your position. And you’re making assumptions not in evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Mgalindo13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea5d25/32.png) [@Mgalindo13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mgalindo13)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899/104 "2013-01-02T22:44:55Z")
> [@al27052](#): > > And you’re making assumptions not in evidence. This isn’t a court case, and we’re all forced to make assumptions because the OP is “guessing” about what happened. Be that as it may, we’re not trying to ascertain the reason they aren’t speaking, simply give an opinion as to IF the OP should inform the estranged daughter. Given that estrangements of this severity **typically** (read:not always, but usually) involve some type of abuse, it’s not up to a someone outside the family to intervene. He tried contacting the daughter before and she didn’t respond. The OP isn’t even a close friend of the father, nor a friend of the family. He’s simply a neighbor who became involved and frankly, in my opinion, really shouldn’t be. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899/105 "2013-01-03T00:18:31Z")
> [@Mgalindo13](#): > > This isn’t a court case, and we’re all forced to make assumptions because the OP is “guessing” about what happened. > > Be that as it may, we’re not trying to ascertain the reason they aren’t speaking, simply give an opinion as to IF the OP should inform the estranged daughter. > > Given that estrangements of this severity **typically** (read:not always, but usually) involve some type of abuse, it’s not up to a someone outside the family to intervene. He tried contacting the daughter before and she didn’t respond. > > The OP isn’t even a close friend of the father, nor a friend of the family. He’s simply a neighbor who became involved and frankly, in my opinion, really shouldn’t be. Whatever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-w-cancer-should-i-inform-his-estranged-daughter/644899.md?page=5)