# Friend was fired 'cause she's involved w/a sex offender. What do I say? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 7, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720 "2014-02-07T01:59:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/161 "2014-02-10T06:00:53Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > It would when co-workers or customers decide that charming young lady would make a WONDERFUL babysitter. Well, you mentioned that an adult store is one of the only types of places that might be appropriate for her to work. She could meet someone with kids there too. Kind of a weird place to meet a babysitter, yeah, but it could happen. Still can’t even begin to imagine someone wanting to have a sexual relationship with someone they know is sexually attracted to children (denial is one thing, and apparently she is in denial about him \*acting \*on his urges, but to know and even admit to others that he has them and still stay with the guy?? That is one strange bird). ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/162 "2014-02-10T06:18:11Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > No, he wants his _old_ life, from before those mean old relatives accused him of raping their daughter. He isn’t a changed man because he doesn’t _want_ to change. Oh shit. Rick! I didn’t realize you were posting in the thread. Damn, I’m sorry for trying to speak for you or understand what your life is like–how terribly presumptuous of me or anyone else to do that, when we have the actual subject here in the thread: the person who best knows Rick’s own motivations and past – Rick himself! Please, if you feel comfortable, tell us about how irredeemable you are. But… I do wish you wouldn’t use the pretense of using the third person pronoun. It’s clear you’re the one who knows this situation best, ergo it can only be you, Rick. It’s all right. Enlighten us. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/163 "2014-02-10T06:25:47Z")
> [@Desert\_Dumpster](#): > > Unless “by definition,” their criminal acts are the result of a mental condition or compulsion, in which case they may feel terrible about the urges they haven’t been able to control and the acts they have performed as a consequence. And yes indeedy doodle, such people do exist and are actually far more common than black-and-white thinkers surmise. If that’s the case, then perhaps he shouldn’t be out on the streets. Not because omgodmonsterrapistchildmolester, but because I don’t feel that a person who can’t control their urges to harm someone should be allowed free reign to do so. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/164 "2014-02-10T07:33:47Z")
Okay, it’s now pissing me off that people who don’t know Rick are deciding he shouldn’t be on the streets because of some theory by yet _another_ poster who doesn’t know Rick. Guess what? His fucking probation officer who sees him every week has decided he’s perfectly _fine_ be on the streets. End of story. I would say there are _all_ kinds of people dealing with this particular paraphilia: 1) some can control it, 2) others try to but can’t, and 3) others don’t try. We can rule out option 3 for Rick, unless he’s managed to fool his Probation Officer, his friends and Shelley as well as eluding capture for continuing to offend for the past decade. Rick’s fairly smart from what I’ve known of him, but I don’t think he’s bloody Moriarty. What about those who try to control themselves but can’t? Is Rick one of those? I have no idea. I have only the knowledge that he hasn’t been caught doing anything, which as I’ve said before is negative evidence and thus non-exculpatory. Still, I look at the cites **DSeid** listed. And there just isn’t the level of recidivism among molesters than people think there is, particularly when there is follow-up and some level of treatment for the offender. And finally, those who try and succeed? Believe it or not they exist. No, I don’t think most ever lose the inappropriate attraction–it’s how their brains work–but they also manage to find attraction in adults (I believe that’s called _non-exclusive_ pedophila–people who are attracted to both adults and children.) Hopefully Rick is in this group. I assume he is since he’s with someone who’s in her mid-to-upper 20s, and has been for years. But I don’t know. Actually, let’s look at the actual facts in this particular case–what I know for sure: 1. He knew he was a pedophile when he was in his mid-teens and told his family. 2. Within a few years he was convicted of some kind of assault against his \<14 his niece. 3. He had to register as a sex offender. 4. He’s now in his upper-20s (approx.) 5. As an RSO he is supposed to comply with whatever restrictions that have been placed on him, including mandatory therapy, reporting of his whereabouts, reporting to a probation officer, and (I assume) restrictions on where he can live/work/be, or he will be put in prison. 6. He has not been put in prison. One assumes that means he has complied with the above. 7. He also appears to have no further accusations, arrests or convictions (if there were any, that anti-pedo site would’ve been happy to post about it). 8. He has been seeing a woman his own age for the past several years. And that’s all the factual data we know. (I mean, there are things I know about Rick that I haven’t mentioned here because they’re utterly irrelevant to anything–education, job skills, tastes in books/movies, etc., which I know 'cause Shelley’s mentioned them, as has Rick the one or two times I’ve had dealings with him. But I’m talking about things relating to this issue.) Taking those facts together, I think we can at the very least stop acting as if the guy is a slavering beast hunting the playgrounds of East Bumfuck, IL. At any rate we should probably stop talking about him at all because he’s never really been the issue. \*Shelley’\*s life is the topic _du jour_, or at least _de fil_, as far as I’m concerned. I know there’s always thread drift but I wish we wouldn’t drift into the sludge and at least stay in clearer waters. Unless people want more updates I’ll let the thread drop. Well, I may be tempted to respond again, I can’t help it, but there are definitely people I won’t respond to anymore because they’re obviously beyond rational discourse on this subject. I hope others will take my lead. I’d guess any updates would be on questions that are sort of hanging out there, unsolved: a) how the school found out, b) how the second job found out, and c) who called the landlady. But I may never know this. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/165 "2014-02-10T08:02:43Z")
Note: I wasn’t speaking of Rick specifically. I was speaking of **Desert Dumpster** ’s claim that because there are people out there who cannot control their actions, they shouldn’t be held responsible for those actions. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/166 "2014-02-10T16:15:10Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > …and apparently she is in denial about him \*acting \*on his urges, but to know and even admit to others that he has them and still stay with the guy?? That is one strange bird. Not so strange if you know basic psychology: [Codependency](http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Do-Women-Stay-With-Abusive-Men/983458), [Rescuer Syndrome](http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/RescuerSyndrome.html), or [take your pick.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V) ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/167 "2014-02-10T16:57:25Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > That is a stupid and extremely insulting analogy. But I suspect you know that. Thank you for reposting his nonsense, I’d forgotten to report his implied threat of physical violence. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/168 "2014-02-10T17:11:51Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Not so strange if you know basic psychology: [Codependency](http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Do-Women-Stay-With-Abusive-Men/983458), [Rescuer Syndrome](http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/RescuerSyndrome.html), or [take your pick.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V) I do know it, and I understand too well being attracted to a certain kind of dysfunctional person, but actually having sex with someone who you know may well be fantasizing about kids during the act? That’s just beyond my comprehension. If you want to enable someone why not go for a sexy drug dealer or bank robber or something? I get why certain things are tempting even if they’re a horrible idea. This just sounds like the biggest turnoff imaginable. Usually, IME (interning in probation) the SOs that stay are in very deep denial and would never tell \*themselves \*let alone someone they don’t even know that well that they’re into boning pedophiles. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/169 "2014-02-10T17:16:48Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Thank you for reposting his nonsense, I’d forgotten to report his implied threat of physical violence. That part was a gem too but I was referring to equating the attempted genocide of Jews by the Nazis with having convicted child rapists having to register with their local police department. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/170 "2014-02-10T20:37:55Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > I sure hope this is a whoosh, really. > > Getting in the crosshairs of anonymous vigilantism is horrible. But the anonymous vigilante asshole(s) here have the advantage of having something factual to hold (fairly or unfairly) against Rick/Shelley. I get the feeling that wherever Shelley seeks to obtain employment or housing within their range of action, there will they be, one step behind, until they succeed in driving them BOTH out of town, Why would this be a whoosh? It usually bugs me when someone posts, especially to ask for help, and asks everyone to confine the conversation to a narrow range but people go off and give their own version of the request and at the end the OP isn’t helped at all. I don’t know Rick or Shelley or choie, so I’ll take the topic as given. If she wants to help a girlfriend of a registered sex offender, that’s her business. Either I can say I won’t help her, or I can avoid the topic entirely, but I’m not going to come into the topic, rearrange her request, and give an answer based on that. I genuinely think that if she wants to help out Shelley, she can distract the landlord by sending her on a wild goose chase. Its not a bad plan and will buy her some time. She can do a similar thing against this Yolanda person and send anonymous messages to work insinuating things about her and the person who took Shelley’s job. Maybe she can also find a similarly named person and have Shelley present this “evidence” to the landlord and say it was a misunderstanding. Or threaten to sue her. It may amount to nothing, but sometimes the threat is enough. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/171 "2014-02-10T21:12:16Z")
> [@Desert\_Dumpster](#): > > You’re right about the equivalence thing–it’s **far more reprehensible** to hound someone out of town because they **associate** with someone you despise than it is to commit a criminal act that is the result of an uncontrolled compulsion. I would rather live in a town full of Ricks than a town fully of petty, intolerant, nasty little people. … > [@Guinastasia](#): > > Note: I wasn’t speaking of Rick specifically. I was speaking of **Desert Dumpster** ’s claim that because there are people out there who cannot control their actions, they shouldn’t be held responsible for those actions. Uncontrolled but not uncontrollable and that is a very important distinction. It is controllable. The fact that reoffense is quite low proves that. The crime, the reprehensible part, is not that they had the urge, the compulsion, but that they abused the power they had over children, generally children who knew and trusted them, in Rick’s case a nephew, to satisfy that compulsion. I think you are pretty much alone here **Desert Dumpster**. I am no fan of either group but one deserved the jail time they got and another just deserves a slap upside the head. I don’t want to live with petty intolerant people but that pales to abusing a child. Of course Rick served his jail time, was punished according to the law, is a low risk to re-offend, and never bothered anyone outside his family in the first place. These petty intolerant people have not and will not ever get their slap upside their heads and are free to continue being jerks. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/172 "2014-02-10T21:41:28Z")
> [@choie](#): > > And you keep insulting this town–which yes, does clearly suck, but it’s not just the townspeople who are the problem. There are self-styled vigilante crusaders on the web who have taken it upon themselves to follow people on the RSO list and hound the fuck out of them. That is very possibly who could be to blame for the anonymous call and even Shelley’s firing, if they knew enough to know Shelley lived w/Rick, they obviously know how to do their due diligence and find out where Shelley works. The truth is that Shelley’s poor judgement is the reason she got fired, not because of some tattle-tail. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/173 "2014-02-10T21:41:29Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > My apologies if I come across as skeptical, but…you know, Internet. > > The key problem here is that “Rick” has already been caught molesting children once. Statistically, he’s at very high risk of re-offending (something close to 45%, I think.) And giving him the benefit of the doubt doesn’t mean he won’t be tempted to commit his crimes again – like a drug addict, if you cross that line once, it becomes much easier to cross it again, and again. > > The fact that Shelley works with children and “loves working with children” makes the situation far more perilous. > > Frankly, my disbelief comes not from doubting your words, but from why you would involve yourself with these people to begin with. The whole thing sounds like a recipe for total disaster. So the only advice I can offer is to stay away, far away, if not physically then at least emotionally. As for how to offer her comfort, sorry but I really can’t think of anything else to say. Agreed, and Shelley isn’t exactly worldly. Her judgment probably isn’t the best. My (2nd?) cousin’s husband was almost the same story. He confessed to being attracted to young boys but swore he never had and never would act on it and all he lived for was her loving support; she was convinced he overcame his personal demons and with the full support of their church, they marry and start a family. One of them gets a job working with children. Both are respected in their community. Fast forward about eight years. He molested at least half a dozen young boys and is in prison. He confessed within hours of his arrest. Tell Shelley you feel badly for her and you sincerely hope that Rick is the man she believes he is, but that Rick can’t change, and despite his best intentions, he can only keep it under control with no guarantee on how long it will last. I don’t doubt Rick is trying his best, but Shelley has a lifetime of these incidents to look forward to if she stays with Rick. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/174 "2014-02-10T21:50:02Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Fast forward about eight years. He molested at least half a dozen young boys and is in prison. He confessed within hours of his arrest. Once an addict, always an addict. By the way, did the OP ever come clean about the precise details of Rick’s crime? I haven’t been paying close attention. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/175 "2014-02-10T21:50:48Z")
> [@choie](#): > > But the person she trusted with this information was Yolanda, who used to be her best friend for years now, and whom she thought was her soul mate (well, y’know, as far as friends go). She put that trust in Yolanda and was betrayed (I think). Why do you (or Shelley) think that Yolanda would do this? I had a bad best-friend break-up, and like most BFF’s had all the dirt on my ex-best friend, but I wouldn’t dream of doing anything to mess with my ex-BFF’s source of income or the roof over her head. Why Yolanda? ---
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/176 "2014-02-10T22:03:47Z")
> [@Accidental\_Martyr](#): > > I’d really like to hear more about this town and school and the things that allegedly happened there. How old is she? When did she attend this school? If her story is credible, it sounds like some sort of bizarre religious cult. Public one-room school houses really are a still a thing today, especially in extremely rural areas. Up until the 1900’s, most every small town had only one room school houses, before most started busing kids to a consolidated school. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/177 "2014-02-10T22:06:42Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > There are over 22,000 RSOs in Illinois … odds are that any particular family has passed one or more by in the grocery store or mall or on the street. Really this is the boogeyman hysteria I am talking about. Truth is that few RSOs reoffend after release from jail ([under 3%](http://www.statisticbrain.com/sex-offender-statistics/)) I’d really like to see the study that this came from; I keep pretty close track of studies showing sex offender recidivism rates, and while they’re generally lower than what most people would expect I’ve never seen an overall re-offense rate quite _that_ low. Even Department of Justice statistics show a higher recidivism rate than that (5%), and that’s only within three years - longer studies show higher rates. If that number is being quoted correctly, I suspect part of the problem may lie here: > [@](#): > > What classifies someone as a sex offender varies by legal jurisdiction and culture. In the U.S. a person can convicted for prostitution, obscene content in the form of a text message, sex with a minor, child molestation, rape and various other sexual assault convictions. Most sex offender recidivism studies are concerned with violent contact sex offenses; if they’re including obscene text messages and solicitation of prostitution, the results are going to be skewed. It also doesn’t mention the time frame they’re looking at - is that a 1 year, 3 year, 5 year or 10 year reconviction rate, and does it only include people who reoffend while registered? Not all offenders register for life, so if it’s only offenders who offend while registered, many of whom are noncontact offenders, the numbers may be misleading. The current gold standards in offender recidivism are found in several meta-analyses, studies of multiple long term studies that show that overall recidivism rates for contact sex offenders convicted of new contact sex offenses is around 13-14 percent within 5 years, 20-21 percent within 10 years, and 24-27 percent within 15 years. A very few studies that followed offenders longer than 15 years showed as much as 30 percent, and some studies extrapolating lifetime estimates have shown as much as a 39 percent lifetime recidivism rate for adult rapists and 52 percent lifetime recidivism rate for child molesters. Two important caveats about those figures: the overall offense rates lump all offenders together, the stranger rapists with the drunken date rapists with the male child molesters with the female child molesters, etc., and those groups may have very different recidivism rates looked at individually, e.g. child molesters with male victims have roughly twice the recidivism rates of those with female victims. When offender and victim characteristics are analyzed individually, different populations of sex offenders can show anywhere from a 1.2 five year recidivism rate for low risk offenders to a 68.0 percent 10 year rate for very high risk offenders. Another point is that all of these rates are reconviction rates, not re-offense rates, and only a fraction of crimes are detected and prosecuted. The true re-offense rate is much higher. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/178 "2014-02-10T23:16:46Z")
**pravnik** , How do the studies you refer to define “violent contact sex offenses”? Yes, the crime that drives the fear is the outside of family violent offense, the violent sexual predator, and that seems to be what was studied in what you refer to, but most RSOs are like the one as presented in the op: non-violent molestation within family. To me a horrible crime all the more because of the violation of trust and abuse of power involved, but a different beast than the violent sexual predator preying on outside the family victims … the true boogeyman that people fear. Whilst looking (futilely, alas) for other studies/articles that give more complete data according to crime I did find [this](http://cjb.sagepub.com/content/27/1/6.short) and [this](http://jiv.sagepub.com/content/27/5/930.abstract): > [@](#): > > … The recidivists were generally considered to have poor social supports, attitudes tolerant of sexual assault, antisocial lifestyles, poor self-management strategies, and difficulties cooperating with supervision. … > [@](#): > > One of the most striking findings of the research was that the desisting group had found a place within a social group or network, unlike the still potentially active offenders who all described a life of social isolation and alienation. So ironically the people who have made it their business to stalk and harass RSOs after they have served their time may be increasing the risk of recidivism. This particular person, with his girlfriend as stable social support, and apparent compliance with supervision, is at particularly low risk. The one factor that might push in the other direction is his apparent denial and consequent lack of remorse. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2014, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/179 "2014-02-10T23:23:03Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Once an addict, always an addict. > > By the way, did the OP ever come clean about the precise details of Rick’s crime? I haven’t been paying close attention. “Come _clean_”??! There’s no “come clean” and I am getting _very_ close to pitting you for continually acting like I’ve been holding out on you, and most of all for referring to me as if I were complicit in these crimes of someone I’ve never met, and must bare Rick’s sins just because some voyeur on the web wants them. Y’know, I don’t get angry that often on the SDMB, but Jesus wept, you are as bad as rubberneckers who hang around traffic accidents hoping, praying, _longing_ to see a piece of brain, a splash of blood, maybe a bone or two. I’ve said countless times that I do not know the details. I don’t want to know the details. I am not going to ask about the details. I wouldn’t publicize the details even if somehow Shelley decides to tell me about them on her own. _Capisce_? Matter of fact, at this point, even if I had them, somehow lost my moral compass and decided to share them with the SDMB, I would password protect them and give the password to every single person on the Straight Dope _except_ you, **buddha\_david**. Just to piss you off. Just to keep you from getting what you want. Just because your posts have been so unbelievably relentless, insinuating, and rude. Moving on: recidivism rates among child SOs who’ve been through the system are not even _close_ to 45%, whoever that was who made that claim. They are almost universally considered below 10%, and indeed many studies put the rate at half that. This “once a molester, always a molester” is a factoid that’s been repeated online but is quite simply wrong. Anyway. To the person who asked why I am so sure it was Yolanda who snitched: I’m not _sure_, I just think it’s the most likely scenario, because a) she’s the only one at the school who knew Rick’s past (and has done for years), b) she’s the only one at the school who knew Shelley worked at the second part time job, c) her behavior has been _very_ strange for the past two months, acting like some high school girl who’s fascinated by a wealthy newcomer to school and then dumps all her less glamorous friends–she’s just cut Shelley off cold, and has given her the silent treatment despite Shelley apologizing for whatever she did wrong (she had no idea what, but she apologized just in case); finally there’s d) the fact that the beneficiary of Shelley’s firing was Yolanda’s new BFF. I also think it’s marginally more likely that Yolanda spilled the beans to the staff than the HR people. I’m _assuming_, a big assumption admittedly, that this school’s HR folks would be less inclined to break confidentiality regarding a firing than the one staffer who actually knew what was going on. So, those are the reasons I suspect Yolanda. I could be wrong and it could be the vigilantes. But while I know they are pretty good Internet Detectives, I still think Occam’s Razor points more to Yolanda than them. **Yogsooth** , I don’t know what the heck you think Shelley would gain by being just as repulsive as the person who called her landlady–actually, these hypothetical actions would be even worse, because in your revenge scenario Shelley is just making shit up out of whole cloth about strangers, whereas at least this anon. caller is revealing something that actually happened. So while I… uh… appreciate the sentiment (i.e., that you want to actually address the OP rather than drag out incorrect pedophile stats and vying for the “Who Can Be Most Outraged For The Children Award” – you know, what _every_ one of these threads devolves into), I think your advice is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Not only would I not pass it along to Shelley, I know she wouldn’t do it. All right, that’s about as much as I can take today. Back to your regularly scheduled kill-the-pedo fest. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2014, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720/180 "2014-02-11T00:20:44Z")
> [@choie](#): > > **kill-the-pedo** fest. I’m not the only one who hears this to the tune of ‘kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit’, am i? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-was-fired-cause-shes-involved-w-a-sex-offender-what-do-i-say/680720.md?page=10)