# Friend with Brain Tumors? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910 "2007-04-27T23:11:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RoniaBorkason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9dc877/32.png) [@RoniaBorkason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoniaBorkason)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/1 "2007-04-27T23:11:35Z")
I really don’t know how to title this one. My husband found out Monday that his fictive/alterna-mom (Debbie) had just entered the hospital with a fast-growing brain tumor, probably malignant. She had exploratory surgery and a large malignant tumor was removed from the back of her head (they think they got it all) on Tuesday morning. He spoke with his alterna-dad Johnny, her husband, this afternoon, and they are sending her home tomorrow (Saturday). Johnny didn’t say anything about timetables, but that they were going to give her chemotherapy and take it one day at a time and enjoy it. That sounds ominous, to me. She is fifty, and has two children in their twenties. Two weeks ago, she thought she was fine. When my husband visited on Monday, she told him that yes, she had some syptoms, like smelling something off every so often (turned out to be seizures of the, um, olfactory something?) but she just thought that they had something terribly wrong with the air conditioning. I don’t know her very well, but I like her, and she was a huge part of his teens. I don’t know what to do to show her my/our concern and help him through this almost definite coming loss. I haven’t prayed this hard in years. I’m not really sure if this will do anything, but I needed to tell someone. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/2 "2007-04-27T23:30:59Z")
Ah, crap, that doesn’t sound good. As to what to do, be there to lend a sympathetic ear. It’s a cliche because it tis what people need and want–someone who cares to listen. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/3 "2007-04-27T23:32:27Z")
You live nearby? (I’m assuming, if I’m wrong, many of my suggestions won’t work.) Offer to cook meals/grocery shop/shop for essentials like toilet paper. Offer to clean the house of the person with Brain Tumors. Offer to come sit with the person with brain tumors. Bring a book or something quiet to do, in case she’s tired, don’t expect her to entertain you. But there may come a time when she shouldn’t be left alone for long periods of time. Listen. If they feel like raging about the unfairness of it all, etc. If family come in from out of town, consider offering up your spare bedroom for them to sleep in. Offer to bring meals. Send lots of greeting cards. Cute cards that say “I’m thinking of you, and praying for you”. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/4 "2007-04-28T00:20:49Z")
At work our clinical team recommend [this site](http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Cancertype/Brain), it has a lot of very useful information about brain tumours and links to resources for patients and their families. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/5 "2007-04-28T11:30:55Z")
Be prepared for the worst. I lost my Mom to it, this February. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/6 "2007-04-28T11:33:46Z")
I’m so sorry, the best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friend-with-brain-tumors/401910/7 "2007-04-28T11:35:44Z")
I think you just need to be a good friend. Make yourself available to assist them with the daily crap. Call to chat. Let them know you care. Best of luck.