# "Friendly" retailers make me stabby **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 27, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489 "2011-05-27T21:42:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/21 "2011-05-28T01:39:18Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > At Kmart, it was called the “5-Foot Rule” (or something like that, I can’t remember). It was required and yes, management gave you hell if you didn’t offer help to customers. > > If they ask you if you need help, there’s this little phrase that’s been invented, “Um, no thanks. I’m fine, thank you.” > Try it out. It just might work! > (Seriously, don’t take it out on the employees, and don’t start snarking at them. No one’s “assaulting” you. They’re trying to avoid being reprimanded if their boss catches them) Wait, why is it my job to protect employees from their bosses? I’m not going to be a jerk [edit: initially; see below], but neither am I going to allow them to take liberties or attempt to manipulate me. Of course it places the lowest-level employees in an awkward position, but that’s not my fault and it’s not my problem I use polite language for the first attempt, but when someone counters my “no thank you” or otherwise refuses to accept it, they get told very firmly and much less politely. I understand that management often considers the first “no” round one of the game, but tough. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/22 "2011-05-28T01:39:27Z")
Welcome to the Straight Dope, FairyChatMom. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist, we have some very lovely specials going on today, including a ‘quick links’ tab, and a F.A.Q. That’s for _quoty finger motion_ “Frequently Asked Questions”. I love your dress! ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/23 "2011-05-28T02:08:04Z")
I was shopping today, barely walked into the store and was asked if I had found everything I was looking for… Sure, I’m a fast shopper but not that fast! I then had 2 other ladies do the same thing, and even had one ask if ‘we’ had found everything. We? I was alone! I’d rather if that lady had been more helpful when I asked for something instead of waving in the general direction of racks and saying ‘Oh I think some are over there…’ The one direction had none, the other direction had some but I wandered around and around until I finally spotted it… none of which I was looking for, not even close (I’d asked for a skirt, black, funky style if possible… I found peach, though the website showed 5 colours, one of which was black). If you have your people accost me verbally every few feet, at least let them be actually helpful, all right? When I worked retail (not that long ago) we were supposed to walk the person to where the items were and if not pull them off the rack and find sizes at least say this is what we had and to find us if they needed anything else. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/24 "2011-05-28T02:54:52Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > “Hi, welcome to store-name! Is this your first time in town? I’m so-and-so. What’s your name?” > > I admit I gave her my name from between clenched teeth, but I never went back in that clothing store again. I hate being put into a position where I have to play along or else look rude. How can you refuse to give your first name without feeling ridiculous? I tell them, “Hi, my name’s Veronika, nice to meet you!” That’s not my name. I use it on Facebook, too. And with dudes in bars who can’t figure out to leave me alone. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/25 "2011-05-28T03:11:33Z")
But… they had a pair of pants I really liked… So it was “This way to the changing room, xoferew,” and “Sally, this is xoferew, will you please ring her up?” “Oh, I love these pants too, xoferew,” so it would have been embarrassing to pull out my debit card and have a totally different name on it. I know, I shouldn’t care… ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/26 "2011-05-28T03:20:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If they ask you if you need help, there’s this little phrase that’s been invented, “Um, no thanks. I’m fine, thank you.” Having to say, “Just browsing, thank you,” every five minutes grows old. Ask me if I need help if I look lost, or if I’m standing in front of a display looking about for help. I, like the OP, despise retail stores and food stores that require their employees to act as if I am their new best friend. I am not there to socialize; I am there to buy a product. My response to mall food court shills shoving their samples in my face is, “Fuck off.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/27 "2011-05-28T03:45:58Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > Unfortunately, I’m guessing it’s the same for aggressive greeters and I suspect we’ll be seeing more of this sort of thing. I’m curious though about what sort of customer this kind of nonsense works on. It just makes me avoid places - I haven’t been back to Red Lobster. You haven’t been back to Red Lobster because of _aggressive greeting_? I can’t fathom this. The reason you shouldn’t go back to Red Lobster is because the food is crap. > [@Rigmarole](#): > > Be thankful they don’t sing a song and dance, then. Once Mrs. J. and I were eating at one of those Texas roadhouse kind of places (this one was in West Virginia). As we were finishing our meal a bunch of waitstaff congregated nearby. Suddenly rancid country music began to blare from the loudspeakers and they all started doing a line dance in front of us and other shell-shocked customers. We escaped from the restaurant in time to avoid permanent psychic damage. ---
**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/28 "2011-05-28T03:48:07Z")
I usually just reply “District Manager’s in town, huh?” It’s about a 50-50 split between people who rightfully look at me like I just said something dickish and people who cast me the Nod-o’-Acknowledgement / Sigh-o’-Solidarity. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/29 "2011-05-28T04:01:55Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > You haven’t been back to Red Lobster because of _aggressive greeting_? I can’t fathom this. No, my thread was about the prepared speeches the hostess and the servers gave. They would pour their heart out in this lengthy oration, and then you’d hear it again and again for every customer. I found it patronizing to me (yes, I know I’m a restaurant patron in that situation, but you know what I mean) and degrading for the staff. It’s a similar issue to the aggressive greeting, but to me it’s not the invasion of personal space or whatnot. It’s the fact that these people are forced to recite that nonsense a million times a day. I find it embarrassing to watch, and I hate that we live in a world where corporate suits foist this sort of crap on customers and employees. I’ll go further and say that I hate it when I get the “script” from telephone support of one kind or another. While that’s a situation where a certain amount of standardization may be desirable, I can tell when someone is reading a canned response and inserting my name in every other sentence, and it’s fucking patronizing! I hate it, and I’m sure the person on the other end does too. I often try to politely interrupt and say something like, “I realize you have guidelines for how you have to deal with customers, but I’d appreciate it if you would speak to me normally and not from a script.” There should be a name for this sort of forced speech so we can form a campaign against it. Edit: An example of how I’d prefer things were done is Southwest Airlines. I had a problem with a hotel reservation a few months ago, and the person I got on the phone spoke to me like a person. None of the forced verbiage nonsense, and knowing Southwest I’m sure that’s purposeful and I’m grateful. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/30 "2011-05-28T04:21:47Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > I was shopping today, barely walked into the store and was asked if I had found everything I was looking for.. Sure, I’m a fast shopper but not that fast!\ That happened to us last night - I had walked into the store to look at the shirts that I had seen in the window, and just as I got to the rack, the saleslady came over to ask me if I wanted to try anything on. I don’t know yet - I just started looking at them. Give me a sec, would you? I agree with the OP wholeheartedly - we were in Home Depot this evening, and we were asked if we were doing okay about seven times. It’s a nice change from employees that run if they see you coming, but isn’t there any happy medium to be found here, between ignoring you and harassing you? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/31 "2011-05-28T04:36:54Z")
I have this problem with wait-persons at restaurants. I admit it’s a delicate balance between being pestered and being ignored, but I hate it when I get the “And how is everything?” just as I take a bite of food. Last night I had the waiter come by three or four times while I was eating and reading asking me “How is everything” in a booming outdoor voice. Very annoying. ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/32 "2011-05-28T05:38:33Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > IThe capper was when I was about to enter the ladies’ restroom and an employee was coming out of the men’s room and mumbled a “How ya doin’?” Oh, I dunno - I gotta pee - how are you?? … > I’m a pretty congenial person, but when I’m headed for the caulk aisle, I really don’t want to deal with a dozen perky folks in vests. I think the ‘caulk aisle’ refers to the row of urinals in the men’s room, not the lady’s. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/33 "2011-05-28T06:55:53Z")
All right-- you know what I really hate–Customers who complain about trivial shit. Many staff members says “hello” to you, and you don’t like it. Boo hoo hoo. Don’t you realize that the last customer before you just complained that our people were not friendly enough? The customer before that hated the remodeling. The one before that didn’t like that we used plastic bags. The one before that sneered at our coupon policy. The one before that was thrown into a tizzy because her favorite type of olive was out of stock and the one before that bitched about how we had too many products and it was too hard to shop. The previous customer to her didn’t like that the carts were running low, and the one before that was miffed that there weren’t cart corrals in the parking lot because it is so much trouble to have to wheel an entire empty shopping cart another twenty feet. The customer before that thought the lights were too bright. The customer before him was annoyed because we don’t carry the strawberry-kiwi yogurt in larger containers. Prior to that customer came the one upset about the cashier who checked her watch. This was just ahead of the customer who was upset because he couldn’t figure out the self checkout. That customer was just ahead of the one who complained that the shelves were too high. Before him was the guy who didn’t like the sandwich selection who was just ahead of the woman who thought the signs were too confusing. This group of people was just ahead of these shoppers: the one who was upset because we asked for an ID when she presented a check, the one who griped about the prices, the lady who was disappointed we did not carry a competitor’s brand name item, the lady who thought the bathrooms were too dirty, the customer who railed about produce grown abroad, the customer who despised the reward card system, the man who was riled because he couldn’t understand his receipt, the woman who just couldn’t grasp why she couldn’t bring the dog in the store, the man who couldn’t believe we wouldn’t take his return though he bought the tuna at another store, the woman who couldn’t understand the sale flyer, the man who insisted we are always out of Log Cabin Syrup, and the customer who hated that we were asking for a donation to a charity this month. Then, yesterday, there was the customer who said he was ignored, the man who was upset about the 13 items in the “12 or fewer” line, the one who swore we carried an item we have never carried, the gent who resented the student discount, the woman who blew her top because we charge 50 cents extra for a book of stamps, the lady who didn’t understand the concept of “out-of-season” fruit, the man who thought the pet food should be in the front of the store, the individual disgruntled by the lack of fat-free choices, the man who complained the music was too loud, the woman who thought the cover of the magazine was inappropriate, the fellow who was incovenienced by our asking for an ID to buy alcohol, the one who couldn’t figure out the lottery machine, the man who disliked the placement of the melba toast, the chap who couldn’t understand why a few screws would clog up the Coinstar, the lady who wanted too much cash back, the man who thought it was too hot in here, the woman who couldn’t find the exit, the customer who blamed us for his dropping his bottle of wine, the girl who found the cigarette selection not to her liking, the woman who couldn’t figure out how to operate the electric cart, the man who was upset because we didn’t carry organic cauliflower and now he’d have to go to Whole Foods, and if he has to get that at Whole Foods don’t we know he will probably do all his shopping there and we wouldn’t want that would we, and the one who thought the month later date on the milk wasn’t enough and the one who couldn’t find the expiration date on the Ragu jar, and the one that liked the aisles better when they were wider. Also, we were visited that day by the person who worried about the toothpicks at the sample table, the lady who wanted her order re-rung because certain items were supposed to be “Buy One, Get One Free”, but instead rang up at half price and who didn’t understand that this was, of course, the same thing, the customer who wanted us to cash an out-of-state check and threatened to call corporate to complain when we said it was against policy, the man who thought the honeydew should be the same price as the cantaloupe, the couple who swore they had money left on the gift card, the man who wished for a different juice, the lady angry because we used too many bags, the man upset because there were too many items packed in a single bag, the one who found the wall colors distracting, the man who thought the olive oil should be by the vinegar, the granny who wanted every day to be senior discount day, the one who missed last week’s sale because she was out of town so now wants those prices, the woman who felt the music was too dull, the man who hated the long line, the guy whose favorite item was discontinued, the one who could get it much cheaper at Wal-Mart, and the girl who was sure the Alpo dog food she bought last Tuesday gave her Fifi a rash. Thanks. I feel better now. Sigh. Do you know how many people complain when they are not given the “super friendly” service? Lots. This is over 20 years of retail speaking…and you may be surprised to hear I mostly like the field I have chosen. You’d like it if the store would just let you shop your retail in peace. Believe me, we’d sure like it if you’d just let us sell retail in peace by realizing that the store will not always be to your liking in every area and it’s OK to let us know but at the same time there are bigger problems in the world than some minor annoyance at the retail store. Just pick up the paper. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/34 "2011-05-28T08:19:45Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > Sigh. Do you know how many people complain when they are not given the “super friendly” service? Lots. It hasn’t happened in awhile, but at one point my department was getting numerous complaints because we weren’t supposedly “friendly” enough :rolleyes: Um, most of us say hello to a customer if the customer comes to us for something. Common courtesy, hello? I’m sorry if we’re not amusing you with anecdotes and whatnot. Our job is to serve you and get you out ASAP so we can wait on the next person. If you don’t believe me, ask the person behind you :glares: > [@](#): > > This is over 20 years of retail speaking…and you may be surprised to hear I mostly like the field I have chosen. My 25th anniversary is next year :boggle: > [@](#): > > You’d like it if the store would just let you shop your retail in peace. Believe me, we’d sure like it if you’d just let us sell retail in peace by realizing that the store will not always be to your liking in every area and it’s OK to let us know but at the same time there are bigger problems in the world than some minor annoyance at the retail store. Just pick up the paper. OMG, it’s unbelievable, isn’t it? There are two supermarkets in the town where I work. One is part of a giant conglomerate. The other one was originally part of a family-run regional chain which was bought out by a giant conglomerate. People in the town won’t shop at the first one because they disdain the “cookie cutter” aspect. They loved the other store before it became corporate because the store literally wiped their asses with the customer service. Now that it no longer does that, it completely floors them: “What do you mean I’m no longer a special snowflake?” Um, hello, retail’s drastically changed in this economy. You have to fight for a portion of overall business. The easiest way to do that is via customer service because those employees are the ones who will make the most impression on you, the customer. Second is the competition itself. If you want to play with the big boys and want your slice of the pie, you HAVE to go after Walmart if you want to survive. Part of that strategy is to water everything down to the most essential – concentrate the variety of product, move it in/out ASAP with the fewest number of employees humanly possible. It’s ugly when it’s actually put into practice, but it does make good business sense. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/35 "2011-05-28T13:59:04Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > All right-- you know what I really hate–Customers who complain about trivial shit. Many staff members says “hello” to you, and you don’t like it. Boo hoo hoo. > > Don’t you realize that the last customer before you just complained that our people were not friendly enough? They can be both, simultaneously. They can greet you like heck when you walk in the door but never stop and ask if you need anything when you are looking around for somebody. I’d prefer to have my questions asked by someone who is not busy moving stuff around or greeting people or staffing the customer service desk, because if those people can help you it most likely involves paging someone to the area you need service in, and then walking over there and waiting anyway. It would be better, from a customer service perspective, to ditch the greeters and train more knowledgable floor walkers. But I know that being “friendly”'s not the real reason for greeters, it’s a way to say “hey, we see you, so don’t shoplift mmmkay?” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/36 "2011-05-28T14:10:04Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > “Hi, welcome to store-name! Is this your first time in town? I’m so-and-so. What’s your name?” > > I admit I gave her my name from between clenched teeth, but I never went back in that clothing store again. I hate being put into a position where I have to play along or else look rude. How can you refuse to give your first name without feeling ridiculous? My advice is to ignore the question. “I’ll let you know if I need any help” is what I would say. Just because they ask you a question (or hand you a sample, etc.) does not obligate you to comply. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/37 "2011-05-28T14:13:33Z")
[Quote=Biotop] You’d like it if the store would just let you shop your retail in peace. Believe me, we’d sure like it if you’d just let us sell retail in peace by realizing that the store will not always be to your liking in every area and it’s OK to let us know but at the same time there are bigger problems in the world than some minor annoyance at the retail store. Just pick up the paper. [/quote] HI, BIOTOP!! WELCOME TO THE THREAD!!! How are you today!!! Can I help you try on some opinions? I’ll be right over here if you need me!! Let me know if you need anything, because here at the Straight Dope, we want your posting experience to be the best ever!! ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/38 "2011-05-28T14:22:26Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > “Hi, welcome to store-name! Is this your first time in town? I’m so-and-so. What’s your name?” “Hi! I’m Elmer J. Fudd! I own a mansion and a yacht!” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/39 "2011-05-28T15:00:37Z")
> [@](#): > > All right-- you know what I really hate–Customers who complain about trivial shit. Many staff members says “hello” to you, and you don’t like it. Boo hoo hoo. > > Don’t you realize that the last customer before you just complained that our people were not friendly enough? Yes, customers complain about everything. However, if a LOT of customers are complaining about one specific thing (getting addressed by name when they pay by check or card, for instance) maybe the retailers should take note that this specific thing seems to piss off a lot of customers. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489/40 "2011-05-28T15:19:54Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > HI, BIOTOP!! WELCOME TO THE THREAD!!! How are you today!!! Can I help you try on some opinions? I’ll be right over here if you need me!! > > Let me know if you need anything, because here at the Straight Dope, we want your posting experience to be the best ever!! Thanks. I’m fine. Why are you bothering me? But now that you mention it, why is it so hard to log on at times? How come the moderator is so pissy? Why can’t they make it obvious how to quote another poster, what do you mean I can’t swear, why don’t you stop that “Hi Opal” thing from continuing, and that other \*%^^& -ing poster was mean to me, and I don’t like the smilies and why does it cost for membership and so what if I can’t spell and I shouldn’t have to pay extra for a funny title under my name and you should make the spoiler boxes easier to insert and blah blah blah blah blah. This place must be run by “suits” who have no knowledge what it ius to use the actual message board because if they did know they would run it exactly as I see fit because I am the customer and I’m always right and I’m sure all the other posters mostly think exactly like me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friendly-retailers-make-me-stabby/583489.md?page=3)